counter create hit Artemis Fowl - Download Free eBook
Ads Banner
Hot Best Seller

Artemis Fowl

Availability: Ready to download

Twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is a millionaire, a genius, and above all, a criminal mastermind. But even Artemis doesn't know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. These aren't the fairies of bedtime stories—they're dangerous! Full of unexpected twists and turns, Artemis Fowl is a riveting, magical adventure.


Compare
Ads Banner

Twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is a millionaire, a genius, and above all, a criminal mastermind. But even Artemis doesn't know what he's taken on when he kidnaps a fairy, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. These aren't the fairies of bedtime stories—they're dangerous! Full of unexpected twists and turns, Artemis Fowl is a riveting, magical adventure.

30 review for Artemis Fowl

  1. 5 out of 5

    Percy

    i managed to decipher the code written below the book so for those who are interested...read on: THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING: I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING. BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM. FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN. MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE. I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS. BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR i managed to decipher the code written below the book so for those who are interested...read on: THE PROPHECIES OF OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO FROND ELFEN KING: I AM OHM PHLEGM POT CLEANER TO THE KING. BUT I AM MUCH MORE THAN THAT FOR I SEE THE FUTURE WRITTEN IN THE PHLEGM. FOR CENTURIES, WE PIXIES HAVE READ THE PHLEGM, BUT I AM THE BEST THERE HAS EVER BEEN. MY VISIONS ARE GENERALLY OF LITTLE IMPORTANCE. I FORETELL OUTBREAKS OF TROLL POX OR GAS SPASMS AMONG ELDERLY DWARFS. BUT SOMETIMES EVEN A POOR POT CLEANER CAN SEE WONDROUS THINGS. A VISION CAME TO ME TWO MOONS AGO, WHEN I WAS GAZING DEEP INTO HIS MAJESTY’S OWN PHLEGM POT. I WAS HEATING THE POT OVER A FLAME WHEN THE SIGN APPEARED. THIS VISION WAS MORE VIVID AND DETAILED THAN ANY I HAD PREVIOUSLY SEEN. BECAUSE OF ITS IMPORTANCE, I DECIDED TO WRITE IT DOWN FOR POSTERITY. AND SO I CAN SAY I TOLD YOU SO. I SAW AN AGE WHEN THE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DRIVEN UNDERGROUND BY THE MUD MEN. THIS IS WHAT THE PHLEGM TOLD ME: IN THIS TIME, ONE SHALL COME AMONG US. FOWL BY NAME AND FOUL BY NATURE. A MUD MAN UNLIKE ANY OTHER. HE SHALL LEARN OUR SECRETS AND USE THEM AGAINST US. I SEE HIM NOW AS PLAIN AS DAY. HIS FACE IS PALE, HE HAS DARK EYES AND RAVEN HAIR. YET IT MUST BE A MISTAKE FOR HE SEEMS A MERE YOUTH. SURELY NO MUD BOY COULD OUTWIT THE PEOPLE. BUT NOW I SEE THAT THE BOY IS NOT ALONE. HE IS AIDED BY A FORMIDABLE WARRIOR SCARRED FROM A THOUSAND BATTLES. THIS FOWL SHALL HOLD THE PEOPLE TO RANSOM FOR THEIR MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. GOLD. AND IN SPITE OF ALL OUR MAGIC, THERE IS A CHANCE THAT HE WILL PREVAIL. FOR HE HAS DISCOVERED HOW TO ESCAPE THE TIME FIELD, UNFORTUNATELY, HOW THE STORY ENDS I CANNOT SAY. BUT THERE WAS MORE TO SEE. THERE IS ANOTHER STORY TO COME, SOMEONE WILL BRING THE PEOPLE AND MUD MEN TOGETHER. THE WORST OF BOTH RACES. THIS: FAIRYS’ GOAL IS TO GRIND ALL THE CREATURES OF THE EARTH BENEATH HIS BOOT. AND WHO IS THIS TRAITOR, IT IS NOT CLEAR. BUT HE SHALL START A WAR UNLIKE ANYTHING THE PEOPLE HAVE EVER SEEN. THOSE WHO WERE ENEMIES SHALL BE UNITED AGAINST HIM. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE WILL BE MUD MEN BELOW GROUND. I HAVE ONE CLUE TO HIS IDENTITY, A RIDDLE: GOBLINS SHALL RISE AND HAVEN SHALL FALL, A VILLAINOUS ELF IS BEHIND IT ALL TO FIND THE ONE WHO SO DISAPPOINTS LOOK YE TO WHERE THE FINGER POINTS. INSTEAD OF ONE FACE THIS ELF HAS TWO. BOTH SPEAK FALSE AND NONE SPEAK TRUE. WHILE PUBLICLY HE LENDS A HELPING HAND, HIS TRUE AIM IS TO SEIZE COMMAND. I KNOW IT’S NOT VERY PLAIN IS IT I DON’T UNDERSTAND EITHER. BUT PERHAPS IN THE FUTURE ALL WILL BECOME CLEAR. LOOK FOR A POWER HUNGRY ELF WHO HAS A FINGER POINTED TO HIM DURING OUR TALE. AND SO THIS IS OHM’S LEGACY. A WARNING THAT MAY SAVE THE WORLD FROM TOTAL DESTRUCTION. THERE’S NOT MUCH TO WORK WITH I KNOW. THE DETAILS ARE A BIT SKETCHY. MY ADVICE TO YOU IS TO CONSULT THE PHLEGM. IT MAY BE THAT YOU ARE SENSITIVE. I HAVE BURIED THIS PROPHECY WITH MY PHLEGM POT. IF YOU ARE NOT FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO WORK AS A POT CLEANER, THEN THERE IS USUALLY A SUPPLY OF PHLEGM EVERY TIME YOU HAVE A COLD. HERE END ETH THE FIRST PROPHECIES OF OHM. BUT BECAUSE OF THE IMPORTANCE OF MY VISIONS, I SHALL REPEAT THE PROPHECIES ONCE MORE. IF YOU HAVE JUST BEGUN TO UNDERSTAND THE TEXT THEN READ ON. IF YOU HAVE WORKED OUT THE ENTIRE MESSAGE THEN CONGRATULATIONS. NOW GO AND SAVE THE WORLD. this was written in the book at least 3 times.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Jayson

    (A-) 81% | Very Good Notes: Ironically, it's the supernatural characters that follow familiar archetypes, while the humans are strange and atypical.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Crew

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I had heard some mothers in a bookstore talking about Artemis Fowl and how good it was, so I finally gave in and bought the first book. Summary: Artemis Fowl is a child genius/billionaire/criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies (and the like) are real and is seeking to exploit them. He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon (for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance). The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People (or humans). I decided that the book was n I had heard some mothers in a bookstore talking about Artemis Fowl and how good it was, so I finally gave in and bought the first book. Summary: Artemis Fowl is a child genius/billionaire/criminal mastermind who has discovered that fairies (and the like) are real and is seeking to exploit them. He does this by kidnapping a LEPrecon (for Lower Elements Police Reconnaissance). The Lower Elements live underground, having been driven there by the Mud People (or humans). I decided that the book was not good in the first few pages. The writing is not up to par. Some of the dialogue seems like it came from two six-year-olds arguing about whose laser gun was better, when in fact all they have are cheap squirt guns. A child’s imagination is an amazing thing, but the words they use to describe their imagination is quite another. In addition to the bad writing and dialogue, the plot is also poorly structured. But what makes me really angry about this book is the attempt to brainwash kids through literature. I am not opposed to teaching children morals and values through stories, in fact that is the way it has been done for centuries, but this book goes above and beyond what is acceptable. The author, Eoin Colfer, is trying to teach children to take care of the environment by contrasting the ideal encourage friendly fairy society with the evil polluting dirty dolphin and puppy killing human society. In attempting this, he appears to be repulsed by not just pollution but of the whole human race. Keep in mind that Mud People is the Fairy term for human being, a term that send to come straight out of Nazi propaganda against Jews. When characters in Harry Potter called Hermione a mudblood, it was clear those characters were evil. In Artemis, it is the most likeable, most good character that uses that term Mud People to describe humans. Let me share some additional passages with you: If the Mud People knew [about leprechauns] they’d probably take steps to stamp them out. Pg. 33 Mud People bred like rodents. Pg. 50 The Mud People destroyed everything they came in contact with. Pg. 50 The only good thing about going to the toilet was the minerals being returned to the earth, but the Mud People had even managed to botch that up by treating the …stuff…with bottles of blue chemicals. Pg. 50 She could see the pollution in [the dolphins], bleaching their skin white and giving them red sores on their backs. And although she smiled, her heart was breaking. Mud People had a lot to answer for. Pg. 68 The smell of death and pain lingered in the blood-swabbed decks. Many noble creatures had died here, died and been dissected for a few bars of soap and some heating oil. Humans were such barbarians. Pg. 105 The Mud People had greased the hinges [of the whaling boat] with whale blubber. Was there no end to their depravity. Pg. 106 Mud People have been stealing from us for millennia. Why do you think we live underground? Pg. 120 …unless the Mud People had learned to coexist with other species. And if history had taught any lessons it was that humans couldn’t get along with anyone, even themselves. Pg. 125 “…I’d say there was some human blood in you.” In describing a fairy who was a little trigger happy. Then later, he apologized because, "it had been a deeply offensive insult." Pg. 128 No one built weapons of cruelty like the Mud Men. Pg. 265 I recognize that the types of humans described in the above passages do in fact exist, but not all humans are like that, and we are getting better. But a 7 year old reading this book can't help but come away with a deep loathing for all the other humans who are killing dolphins and destroying the Earth. And again, I think that teaching kids to take good care of the other is a movie endeavor for a work of fiction. This book just appears to go way too far. But you know what I would like to do now, I would like to debate Mr. Colfer’s accusations on humanity using the fairy world he created for her book. First, a basic history of human-fairy relations, according to Colfer. Fairies descended from Pterodactyls, and lived peacefully on earth for many millennia until the humans evolved. The fairies called these humans, Mud People, because they lived in the mud. The humans apparently could not help but try and kill the fairies. Cuz humans are b evil by nature. Instead of fighting or teaching the humans, the fairies withdrew underground and ceded the surface to this new evil species that would spend the next thousands of years systematically destroyingand all that the Fairy folk love. The fairies live underground going deeper and deeper as we humans mine and drill more and more. The fairies only return to the surface to replenish their magic. Now, answer me this, if you care about something, would you fight for it or would you run and hide? Me, I would fight for it, and it seems that the fairies would too. They don't want to see living creatures destroyed. That is the basis for the plot of the book, but for some reason, the fairies decided to hide, while the mud people destroy the earth that they care about so much. I say fight, but there might be other options. Education, sharing of technology, etc. All we know is that they are not fighting or doing anything really. The fairies complain about our destruction and pollution of earth. However, the main fairy in the book at one point uses gasoline powered wings (they strap onto their backs). Now granted, they were an old pair of wings, all the newer wings are solar powered, but the fact that they had at one point used gasoline, and are still using gasoline in older modeled wings, indicates that they are partially responsible for the green house gases and other pollution associated with drilling and refining oil. They only switched to solar recently. The main fairy also complains about the human's sewage treatment. What would the fairies propose that we do with our sewage besides treating it so it doesn't breed disease that isn't just harmful to humans. We create so much that the earth cannot biodegrade it quickly enough to keep disease from breeding in it. Now, if we had the magic power to heal, like the fairies, then maybe we could just let it return to earth naturally, and get healed from any adverse effects. However, the fairies won't share even healing magic with the mud people. At one point, author says that no one builds weapons of cruelty like the humans, yet, throughout the book, Colfer describes fairy weapons like a “Neutrino 2000” which is a platinum nuclear handgun that has three settings, “scorched, well-done, and crisped to a cinder”. It seems like a pretty cruel weapon for just one person to weild. Not only that, but the gun will continue to work for well over a thousand years, so not only can you use it to kill many things, but should you die or lose it, it will continue to work in the hands of others for a millenium. But the worst weapon the fairies have invented which seems much more cruel than anything humans have yet created, is a “Blue Rinse”, which is a biological bomb that destroys only living tissue, leaving the landscape unchanged. Can you imagine? All the “benefits” of Hiroshima, without all the bad side effects like destroying a city. And what’s worse is that while we have used the nuclear bomb only twice, the fairies use the blue rinse “on rare occasions.” That sounds a lot more frequent than twice. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like the fairies are just as capable as humans in the production of weapons of cruelty. But this whole review/argument is stupid. There are no fairies with magic powers, and if they do exist, they have decided not to help us. So, it is up to us humans to work things out on our own. While there have been some bad things in our past, what matters now is our present, and what we do from here on out, and I would like to say that in spite of it all, we are doing a pretty good job. Humans are good creatures, created in the image of God. We are imperfect, but on the whole, we are all striving for perfection every day. And that is all I have to say about that.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Mario the lone bookwolf

    It´s the setting, the fantasy sci-fi crossover mix, the humor and the good oldfashioned badass smartass character trope that make this series an entertaining read. I´ve so far read no children books author who made such a mix and I would, in general, like to see more tech and Sci-Fi there instead of just fantasy all the shelves up and down. The tech is not broken down to ridiculous simplicity, but not too complex and perfect for speeding up and slowing down the plot, some character development pr It´s the setting, the fantasy sci-fi crossover mix, the humor and the good oldfashioned badass smartass character trope that make this series an entertaining read. I´ve so far read no children books author who made such a mix and I would, in general, like to see more tech and Sci-Fi there instead of just fantasy all the shelves up and down. The tech is not broken down to ridiculous simplicity, but not too complex and perfect for speeding up and slowing down the plot, some character development problems, dialogues, and motivations could be hidden innuendos to grown-up readers, something Rick Riordan loves to do to and, most important, this is something that can really get kids into reading because it´s no standard fiction, but something with hearth and soul that dares to be defiant. It unites reflection space for male and female readers, combines different genres, and, oh my gosh, has a message in it. From now on I am more reflecting on why people, some friends (just a joke, I don´t have social contacts), and great human beings (that´s really ridiculous), get bite reflexes when reading children's books, so it might get a bit controversial: I don´t get it why people always tend to overreact if there is a harmless message in a book that doesn´t say anything racist, extreme, dangerous,… but criticizes human nature and is pro-environmental protection instead. It´s not as if it was recruiting and brainwashing for dangerous political or religious ideologies, it´s about saving the planet and being critical regarding other humans' intentions and society in general. Adults bashing children books authors for having a positive agenda towards a better world should possibly debate with their real political opponents ( I don´t care about politics anymore, except everything progressive that doesn´t do harm from whoever it comes, just focus on the future in the form of the next generations, the environment, and science) instead of highly subjectively interpreting and seeing perfidious conspiracy theory stuff in books for 9 to 15-year-olds. The funniest thing is that this is no metaphysical blah blah about any kind of not so important, not clear, philosophical faith stuff that doesn´t matter, it´s the only living space we have and the author is damn right to describe us as what we are and what we do. Other critics seem to have problems with villain characters who aren´t honest and law-abiding because kids reading books will become criminals with such bad role models, not with such great ones as the kids watching political debates and TV in general and playing computer games. Or, finally, the character design and credibility of a book that should be understandable to, I have to overemphasize and repeat myself, kids, small humans, not adults, is sooo bad that the book deserves just one star. Come on man, really? Rick Riordan, Derek Landy,… anything without too critical content is superb, but as soon as something one doesn´t like is integrated, the book is bad and the artificial error searching and cherry-picking begins? Probably time for a bit of self-reflection and priority setting. Or do they wish to offend kids by doing as if they were stupid by just telling them that all is happy go lucky, unicorns, rainbows, glitter, lollypops, and stuff and that all humans are friendly, just as the adults do to avoid critical thinking? By breeding the next population of opportunistic no brainers all problems are worsening. Tropes show how literature is conceptualized and created and which mixture of elements makes works and genres unique: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...

  5. 4 out of 5

    J.G. Keely

    Colfer has described this series as “Die Hard, with fairies”, which is a reference to an old Hollywood joke. After the phenomenal success of that movie, a lot of writers started pitching their scripts as ‘Die Hard, with [blank]”, such as Speed: “Die Hard on a Bus”, or Air Force One: “Die Hard, on Air Force One”, or, as the joke goes, the unfortunate who wanted to make "Die Hard, in a building". If you have actually seen Die Hard, you might recall Hans Gruber, the wealthy, cunning, erudite, Europe Colfer has described this series as “Die Hard, with fairies”, which is a reference to an old Hollywood joke. After the phenomenal success of that movie, a lot of writers started pitching their scripts as ‘Die Hard, with [blank]”, such as Speed: “Die Hard on a Bus”, or Air Force One: “Die Hard, on Air Force One”, or, as the joke goes, the unfortunate who wanted to make "Die Hard, in a building". If you have actually seen Die Hard, you might recall Hans Gruber, the wealthy, cunning, erudite, European villain (played by Alan ‘Not-Just-Snape’ Rickman). But in this book, the European criminal is the main character, suggesting Colfer views the movie in the same light as Barney Stinson of How I Met Your Mother: ”Hans Gruber. Charming international bandit. In the end, he dies hard. He's the title character.” So, already, we have some interesting choices going on, but many’s the good idea buried by poor execution. In some ways, telling a good story is like telling an effective lie: you have to know your limits. Like the old writer's adage from Faulker: you've got to kill your darlings. Those overly clever ideas and indulgences have to go, if they don't fit, which they usually don't. If an author gives in to the urge over-explain or get too fancy, he's going to trip himself up, and Colfer often does. He throws around a lot of terminology, trying to seem knowledgeable to lend credibility to his little fantasy story, but he usually gets it wrong. He talks about an impact hitting with ‘a ton of G force’, which is nonsense. ‘G Force’ already has a built-in unit of measurement, which is 'Gs', not mass. The process of acceleration can be described in mass, but it would have to be compared to the acceleration of gravity on Earth, or 'Gs', which Colfer fails to do. It would be like describing the speed of a car as ‘fourteen feet'. He also describes a character as rocketing down a hallway at Mach 1, which is the speed of sound (768 mph). Moving at this speed for a tenth of a second—the amount of time it takes for our brain to react enough to blink—a person would travel 112’, more than the length of the hallway described. Yet he still has his character looking back, adjusting his visor, and fretting about whether he will make it through the door. Not to mention that someone accelerating to Mach 1 within the length of such a hallway would squash them like a bug (at 350 Gs). He also describes a seasoned bodyguard who refers to the spin kick as pointless and flashy. While jumping spinning kicks may fall into this category, a simple spinning back kick is both an effective and basic tool for a martial artist, and one which is often used in competition in many full-contact disciplines. Early in the book, he goes to great lengths to describe the computer translation of an unknown language. The entire process is extremely simplified, which is fine, but then, when the translation comes out, not only is it grammatically perfect, it’s all in rhyming couplets! I always feel frustrated by authors who see the 'Young Adult' label as an excuse to write a thoughtless, cliche book full of simple mistakes. I don't think giving kids badly-researched misinformation is going to turn them into better readers. And these are all details that could have been easily glossed over. Anyone who knew what the terms meant would have seen they were wrong, and anyone who didn't know them would find them meaningless. One of the benefits of writing Science Fiction or Fantasy is not having to explain yourself, not having to be an expert in everything you talk about. You can just wave your hand and give some mumbo-jumbo and that’s fine, we can suspend our disbelief as long as your story's good. Which is why, when an author writing a fantastical story tries to inject realism, it's important for them to know what they are talking about, otherwise, they’ll just make themselves look foolish for no good reason. Instead of leaving well enough alone, Colfer tried to come off as well-informed and technical, and failed miserably. A good author doesn’t telegraph their ineptitude, they hide it--but that means a good author must be aware of their limits. He also goes on a rather condescending diatribe about how Ireland is the most magical place, and Irish mythology is superior to all other myths, because Ireland is the birthplace of all magic. Not only is this a rather insensitive view, it’s also short-sighted, since the book is full of myths which have their basis not in Ireland, but in Scandinavia (dwarves, elves, and trolls). The original people of Ireland were short and dark-haired, with their own complex mythologies. All the redheads of Ireland are descendants of Scandinavian invaders, who brought their myths with them. But even after this bit of out-of-place nationalism, Colfer never actually ends up using any Irish myth in the story. It’s all very generic stuff. Except for a few place-names, there is nothing uniquely Irish here. His depictions of fairy creatures do not demonstrate any Gaelic origin--indeed, the only thing mythic about them are their names and pointed ears. I’m not saying Colfer should be tied to old traditions, or that he shouldn’t create his own versions of myth, but it hardly makes sense for him to go on and on about the greatness of Irish magic if he's not going to bother actually using any of it. The statement is also incongruous with the fact that his protagonist is named after a character of Greek myth--and a female one, at that, but my annoyance with the misappropriation of the name ‘Artemis’ is my own onus to bear. There’s also some eco propaganda, mainly in the form of attacking human beings for ruining everything, which once again, is condescending, over-simplified, and adds nothing to the book. The characters are unremarkable, just clichés taken from buddy cop movies and played straight: no surprising depth, no twists, no masterful strokes of characterization, just what you’d expect from a techno-spy thriller. Which is somewhat unusual, since this is nominally a fantastical book, but the fantasy elements are rarely touched upon. Mostly, the fairies operate with military commando squads and superior technology. There is nothing particularly magical about them. When magic is used, it tends to be either to be a simple solution to patch over plot conflicts, or a macguffin to cause conflicts in the first place. As I’ve mentioned before, using a magic as a systematic problem-solver tends to make it feel a lot less magical and a lot more like an author’s crutch. This is especially apparent when the magic is portrayed aside equally fantastical technologies that serve roughly the same purpose. If an author is going to use a lot of convenient bits of magic and technology so they don't have to think much about the plot, I’m going to expect them to provide some sparkling, unusual characters. If they act stupidly or out-of-character in order to move the plot move along conveniently, then that plot should at least be exciting and unpredictable. Colfer's plot is standard. We do get the villain’s point-of-view more often than in many stories, but that just reminds us how Fowl has little more depth than a James Bond villain. And if I get convenient plot-solving, cliché characters, and a standard story, I need something else to make it worth reading. I had heard that, in this book, the special element was supposed to be humor, but I did not find this book humorous in any way. I’m not saying that it tried to be funny and failed, I’m not saying it was full of bad jokes which I rolled my eyes at. This book did not even attempt to be funny. There was no clever observation, and nothing surprising. Without the ability to surprise you, no author will be able to deliver any humor. There is a quite long series of repeated descriptions of a dwarf pooping rock explosively, but this was not presented in a humorous or surprising way, it was rather matter-of-fact, but not wry enough to qualify as ‘deadpan’. The entire book is suffused with a tone of irreverence, but the tone never achieves anything. There are no moments of punctuation where the irreverence boils over, it is just a constant, even presence in every scene, description, and bit of dialogue. It rather reminds me of a common problem of fan-fic authors: instead of being funny, or exciting, or having interesting characters, or surprising plot-twists, they will instead imply that they are doing those things through character reactions and overstated narration. Colfer constantly implies that eventually, he will just pop out and—Bam! Be funny!—but luckily, it proves to be an empty threat. The problem is, if you spend all your time promising to be funny or exciting, it just makes it more clear that you aren't actually delivering on that promise. It was easy to see what Colfer wanted this book to be (or more delusionally, thought it was), but it was also to see how often and predictably it failed. The cover is also ugly and cheap, and I came across some errors in the text, but I won’t blame those on the author. All in all a straightforward, cliche little story. It's a fast read and not insultingly bad, just poorly-structured, predictable, and forgettable. There are some promising concepts there, but they all end up buried under pointless asides, misused jargon, and the constant promises of an interesting story that never arrives. * * * And as I wrote this review, I discovered something disturbing: Colfer has been hired to continue the Hitchhiker’s Guide series. I find this terribly confusing: Douglas Adams was one of the most insightful, clever, unpredictable, philosophically sound, satirically acerbic, and all-around-nice-guy writers that I have ever read. Yet here is Colfer: in no regard funny, with no insights to give, characters unremarkable, dialogue predictable, plot convenient, philosophical outlook insulting, unable to capitalize on an interesting concept, and enough of a self-absorbed jerk that he ruins even simple stories by trying to impress people with references to things he knows nothing about. Mr. Gaiman, I know you are a Goodreads author, and one of Adams’ fondest fans, so I must ask you: how could you let this happen to me? If there is anyone who should be continuing Adam’s series, it’s Stewart Lee—and if there were any two people who should continue it, it’s two Stewart Lees. But you are also a great and talented author, and surprisingly enough, capable of being tremendously funny. No one appreciates more than I do the subtle and shocking wit of not writing a very funny book until six novels in, but I love the swerve of building up a career as a serious-minded, somewhat disturbing author of heavily-allusive horror and then suddenly kicking out something really funny. But I’m losing my train of thought. Dear Mr. Gaiman, this year for Christmas, please use your magical authorial powers to remove Mr. Colfer from any relation to Mr. Adams’ lovely work. If he wants to write his own dull crime fiction with some fairies thrown in to snag people who are waiting for better fantasy books to be published, that’s his business, but the thought that someone would allow him to besmirch one of the great sci fi series of all time makes me want to snatch him up—along with L. Sprague deCamp and August Derleth—and make them all live in a world like the ones they created: a world which is a pale shadow of what it should be, where every conversation is stilted, every person dull, every jest flaccid—where fire is merely lukewarm, spattered blood pepto-pink, sunsets an overwrought cacophony by Thomas Kincaid, where food is ash in your mouth, where every story starts in a 'white room', and where loving a beautiful woman just feels like clutching your own calloused hand in the dark as you play out the long-faded fantasies of a false-nostalgic youth. My List of Suggested Fantasy Books

  6. 4 out of 5

    Danielle The Book Huntress (Back to the Books)

    Want to meet the guy who's smart enough to take over the world? Well he's twelve years old. And his name is Artemis Fowl. I have two words for this book: GREAT FUN. If you are at all young at heart or you just want to read something different from your usual fare, then check out this book. Artemis will keep you entertained with his hijinks. At the age of 12, Artemis is keeping his family afloat as they suffer from grief at the disappearance of Artemis Fowl, Sr, his father. His mother has retreat Want to meet the guy who's smart enough to take over the world? Well he's twelve years old. And his name is Artemis Fowl. I have two words for this book: GREAT FUN. If you are at all young at heart or you just want to read something different from your usual fare, then check out this book. Artemis will keep you entertained with his hijinks. At the age of 12, Artemis is keeping his family afloat as they suffer from grief at the disappearance of Artemis Fowl, Sr, his father. His mother has retreated into delusions and barely leaves her room. The family is on the brink of bankruptcy, but not for long, if Artemis has anything to do with it. Assisted by his faithful bodyguard, a very large, deadly, intimidating man would do anything for him, Artemis decides to steal his very own fairy to hold for ransom: his very own pot of gold. He doesn't realize that Holly is just as dangerous as he is. When LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police reconnaisance), the covert Fairy organization policing the faery creatures that have retreated underground to get away from humans, comes looking for Holly, he has to fight off a siege on his house of supernatural creatures such as a troll (don't want to be in their way), a dwarf with flatulence from ingesting rocks and soil when he burrows his way through the earth, and a centaur genius who is LEPrecon's equivalent to MI6's Q, and a whole slew of highly-trained deadly fairies. I picked this book up on a lark, looking for something different to read. And boy was I rewarded. This book will make you laugh and keep you enthralled for hours. Although this is perfectly suitable for a young teen or a pre-teen, it's also sophisticated for an adult to enjoy, and a must read for lovers of Faery.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Ahmad Sharabiani

    Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl, #1), Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl is a series of eight science fiction fantasy novels written by Irish author Eoin Colfer. Artemis Fowl is the first book in the Artemis Fowl series. It follows the adventures of Artemis Fowl, a twelve-year-old criminal mastermind, as he kidnaps a fairy for a large ransom of 24-carat gold with the help of his bodyguard, Domovoi Butler and his sister, Juliet Butler, to restore the Fowl family fortune. After multiple attempts by the LEP (Lower Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl, #1), Eoin Colfer Artemis Fowl is a series of eight science fiction fantasy novels written by Irish author Eoin Colfer. Artemis Fowl is the first book in the Artemis Fowl series. It follows the adventures of Artemis Fowl, a twelve-year-old criminal mastermind, as he kidnaps a fairy for a large ransom of 24-carat gold with the help of his bodyguard, Domovoi Butler and his sister, Juliet Butler, to restore the Fowl family fortune. After multiple attempts by the LEP (Lower Elements Police) fairy police, including sending a dwarf called Mulch Diggums, it concludes with Artemis finally releasing Holly Short, the elf fairy, whom he kidnapped, and having his mother cured of madness (in exchange for half of the gold that he had stolen from the fairies). Also, the kleptomaniac dwarf Mulch Diggums, erroneously presumed dead, has taken some of the returned half of the gold and escapes to the U.S. 1. Artemis Fowl 2. The Arctic Incident 3. The Eternity Code 4. The Opal Deception 5. The Lost Colony 6. The Time Paradox 7. The Atlantis Complex 8. The Last Guardian تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز نخست ماه ژانویه سال 2006 میلادی عنوان: آرتمیس فاول و گروگان گیری - کتاب 1؛ نویسنده: یون (ایون) کالفر؛ مترجم: شیدا رنجبر؛ ویراستار: شهرام رجب زاده؛ تهران، افق، 1382؛ در 454 ص؛ کتاب نخست از سری آرتمیس فاول؛ چاپ سوم 1385؛ چاپ چهارم 1386؛ چاپ پنجم 1387؛ چاپ ششم 1389؛ چاپ هشتم 1391؛ چاپ نهم 1392؛ شابک: 9789643690847؛ موضوع: داستانهای دنباله دار برای نوجوانان از نویسندگان انگلیسی - سده 21 م عنوان: آرتمیس فاول - کتاب 1؛ نویسنده: یون (ایون) کالفر؛ مترجم: حسین قنبری؛ تهران، شریعه توس، 1385؛ کتاب نخست؛ شابک: 9648557020؛ آرتمیس فاولِ دوازده ساله، یک تبهكار نابغه است. اما حتی او هم پیش بینی نمیکند که با گروگان گرفتن یک جن، خودش را درگیر چه جنگی میکند؛ چون این جن، سروان هالی شورت از واحد نیروی ویژه ی پلیس، در سرزمین جن هاست. جنهای اين رمان، از آنهایی نیستند که وقت خواب در افسانه ها خوانده ایم. اینها مسلح و خطرناک هستند. ا. شربیانی

  8. 4 out of 5

    Montzalee Wittmann

    Artemis Fowl: Artemis Fowl, Book 1 By Eoin Colfer Narrated By Nathaniel Parker I borrowed this book from the library. I figured everyone in the world has read this but me and thought I would catch up. What a hoot! Loved it! I don't know what I thought it was going to be but I didn't expect a 12 year old genius villain! My goodness, I thought it was great! The fairies, dwarves, trolls, and the silly things that happen, I giggled so much. It was so silly I can see why kids love this book. I am defini Artemis Fowl: Artemis Fowl, Book 1 By Eoin Colfer Narrated By Nathaniel Parker I borrowed this book from the library. I figured everyone in the world has read this but me and thought I would catch up. What a hoot! Loved it! I don't know what I thought it was going to be but I didn't expect a 12 year old genius villain! My goodness, I thought it was great! The fairies, dwarves, trolls, and the silly things that happen, I giggled so much. It was so silly I can see why kids love this book. I am definitely going to read more. If my grandkids haven't read these I am going to tell them about it. Funny!!! The narrator was wonderful with all the variety of voices from the fairy girls to dwarves. Each different and interesting, wonderful job!

  9. 5 out of 5

    Jason Koivu

    From the get-go it appears Artemis Fowl is going to be about Artemis Fowl, a criminal boy genius with Sherlock Holmes-like powers of deduction, but then bomb squad-esque faeries take over the story and we end up spending just as much time, if not more, reading about them. That's fine since they're interesting and their story moves with a good dash of fun and excitement. This is another of those books with a redeemable bad-guy protagonist. We shouldn't, but we do root for him, at least in some wa From the get-go it appears Artemis Fowl is going to be about Artemis Fowl, a criminal boy genius with Sherlock Holmes-like powers of deduction, but then bomb squad-esque faeries take over the story and we end up spending just as much time, if not more, reading about them. That's fine since they're interesting and their story moves with a good dash of fun and excitement. This is another of those books with a redeemable bad-guy protagonist. We shouldn't, but we do root for him, at least in some way, shape or form. In the natural (or "typical") way of things, that would mean the antagonists are good guys, who we're hoping won't succeed, at least not 100%. I haven't tired of this formula just yet, plus Colfer has handled it well and crafted a fast, short read that doesn't give you much downtime to reflect on any potential faults. I found this book to be very similar to Jonathan Stroud's The Amulet of Samarkand with its snarky protagonist, its magic-in-a-modern-setting, its fantastical creatures and its infusion of light-hearted comedy (Things slowing down due to necessary exposition? Throw in a fart joke!). You can tell Colfer did a bit of research into mythology and magical beings, as we see some creature attributes from the old traditions. For instance, I like his portrayal of a burrowing dwarf. He also had fun with meshing the modern aspects with these old notions, technology with mythology. I've not always been a big fan of that genre (parts of the Ralph Bakshi movie "Wizards" annoyed me the first time I saw it), but Colfer balances and blends the two together pretty well, almost seamlessly. Rating Note: This was such a strong 4 that I decided to go with 5 stars.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Tadiana ✩Night Owl☽

    99c Kindle sale, Oct. 11, 2018. A solid, amusing start to this YA fantasy series, about a twelve-year-old millionaire evil genius. Okay, he's not really evil, but he is into criminal heists, especially since the family wealth is gone, his father has disappeared, and his mother is mentally ill, out of touch with reality. So Artemis, having used his brilliant mind to figure out that fairies are real, decides to restore the family fortune by kidnapping a fairy and holding him or her for for ransom. 99c Kindle sale, Oct. 11, 2018. A solid, amusing start to this YA fantasy series, about a twelve-year-old millionaire evil genius. Okay, he's not really evil, but he is into criminal heists, especially since the family wealth is gone, his father has disappeared, and his mother is mentally ill, out of touch with reality. So Artemis, having used his brilliant mind to figure out that fairies are real, decides to restore the family fortune by kidnapping a fairy and holding him or her for for ransom. Fairy gold, that's the ticket! Now Artemis and his assistants are up against the military and police forces of faerie. The resulting conflicts are both funny and tension-filled. It's kind of like Mission: Impossible with a magical element and a hidden society of magical folk. Recommended! I've read the first four books (got them in a paperback set) and enjoyed all of them.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Ahmed Ejaz

    SPOILER FREE review if you will not open the spoiler tags How does one describe Artemis Fowl? Various psychiatrists have tried and failed. WORLD-BUILDING All the fairies, elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls live in the underground world. This world has its own technology which is beyond our comprehension and have their own laws. CHARACTERS Artemis Fowl [ of course ] (Doesn't this name sounds Awesome!!!) No need to say, he is a super genius criminal. You know how old he is? Just 12 Y SPOILER FREE review if you will not open the spoiler tags How does one describe Artemis Fowl? Various psychiatrists have tried and failed. WORLD-BUILDING All the fairies, elves, dwarves, goblins, trolls live in the underground world. This world has its own technology which is beyond our comprehension and have their own laws. CHARACTERS Artemis Fowl [ of course ] (Doesn't this name sounds Awesome!!!) No need to say, he is a super genius criminal. You know how old he is? Just 12 YEARS! Doesn't it sound odd. An adolescent, with such intelligence who is devoted to crime. But that's what makes this book different in my opinion. I loved him. I loved how he is written. I loved his every move. I loved his thinking. OMG what should I say more that I loved him sooo much! Probably my most favourite male protagonist I have ever read. Butler His bodyguard. He is the most trusted and faithful guy of Artemis Fowl. And also his partner in crime. Loved him also. Holly Short She is an elf and a captain in LEP (police in the underground World) Foaly A centaur. He is an inventor. Almost the underground police uses his weapons and thinking. He is written as a wise character. But sometimes he got on my nerves. (view spoiler)[ Sometimes he prolonged the dialogues. Without any reason. Just for fun. (hide spoiler)] Overall I liked him. OVERVIEW Fowls are the legendary criminals. They do every kind of illegal things for making money of course. But their fortune isn't for soo long. By the fault of Artemis Fowl 1, Protagonist's father, fortune of Fowl's Family gets away. He disappears in an attack. Due to this, Protagonist's Mother, becomes a mental patient. Artemis Fowl 2 vows to regain the family's fortune. By a very unique way: (view spoiler)[ He finds a book of fairies and gets to know everything about them. Then he plans to kidnap the fairy to get money. There is a ritual necessary to do for fairies to recharge their powers. But our second protagonist, Captain Holly, is little lazy to do so. During the case, she is founded low magical by her commander. So her commander orders her to perform the ritual to regain the magical powers otherwise she cannot enter the underground world again. While performing the ritual, she is kidnapped by Artemis Fowl. He blackmails the underground police for money in form of: 1 tone 24 carat gold. (hide spoiler)] THINGS I DIDN'T LIKE =>I couldn't like the writing style. I don't know why it seems to me that author was too hard to choose words. I didn't face wording problems while reading my recent books. But this was different. Anyways, different authors have different styles. Maybe I felt that because, this book is written by an Irish writer. => (view spoiler)[ I wasn't satisfied with what happened to the gold in the end. It seemed useless to me. What was the benefit for such hard work. (hide spoiler)] Overall , I enjoyed this book! It is full of action and excitement. Author will not let you to take rest till the ending. I hope I will enjoy this series as much as this one. Thanks for your attention! (^__^) December 31, 2016

  12. 5 out of 5

    Drew Nelson

    Artemis Fowl, though entertaining and often well told, is one of those books that has bound itself with the shackles of pandering to a perceived audience and thus will never rise above a certain level. For example, the dwarf character defeats his enemies with the help of his terribly powerful flatulence more than once. The whole race tunnels with the power of poop. The main faerie character, Holly, is a girl trying to break her way through a glass ceiling that no one seems to notice throughout t Artemis Fowl, though entertaining and often well told, is one of those books that has bound itself with the shackles of pandering to a perceived audience and thus will never rise above a certain level. For example, the dwarf character defeats his enemies with the help of his terribly powerful flatulence more than once. The whole race tunnels with the power of poop. The main faerie character, Holly, is a girl trying to break her way through a glass ceiling that no one seems to notice throughout the book except to note that she has broken it. The main character, although a bit shallowly described is likable and fun. However, he would be much more believable if the author had chosen to make him just a few years older. All of these come from the author's unnecessarily pandering to the children who will presumably comprise the majority of his audience. In addition, there is a pretty large amount of environmentalist agenda in this rather short book. I have no problem with saving the whales, but the many asides concerning pollution and extinction seemed completely out of place. In addition, although it sounds insane to ask for a rational and coherent system behind a hidden race of faeries, I believe this is one of the lines that separates good fantasy from run-of-the-mill fantasy. This is a test Colfer fails. His system of magic and faeries is incoherent and sometimes seems inconsistent. At the very least it is ill-explained. Despite all of these shortcomings, the world is very imaginative, and the story is fun. The characters are all likable for the most part, if often shallow. Colfer's storytelling method adds enjoyment to the book in that you can enjoy the small victories of both sides of the conflict. Overall I would recommend this book only to those looking for light, fun, but overall forgettable fantasy.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Natalie Monroe

    Well, looks like my 14-year-old was right--it was as bad as I remembered. The concept was nice, but terrible execution and the plot got too muddled in the middle. It tries to be funny but fails. Epically. And Artemis struck as a wee sexist. He doesn't want to hurt a girl because she reminds him of his mother and his friend, Juliet. The author might be trying to show that Artemis is actually a nice guy, but the way I see it, there are only two options: Oedipus Complex or sexist jerk. It's gotta be Well, looks like my 14-year-old was right--it was as bad as I remembered. The concept was nice, but terrible execution and the plot got too muddled in the middle. It tries to be funny but fails. Epically. And Artemis struck as a wee sexist. He doesn't want to hurt a girl because she reminds him of his mother and his friend, Juliet. The author might be trying to show that Artemis is actually a nice guy, but the way I see it, there are only two options: Oedipus Complex or sexist jerk. It's gotta be one of them. If you want a fun middle-grade book with mythology elements, read Percy Jackson instead. At least you won't feel talked down to.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Raeleen Lemay

    Read for Popsugar's 2018 Reading Challenge #9: A book about a villain or antihero I so wish I'd read this as a kid. I would have devoured the entire series in a matter of days! However, as an adult, this book isn't much more than a fun fantasy adventure, so I can't give it any higher than 3 stars. It was entertaining, but nothing special in the long run. (Highly recommend it to all kids though!!)

  15. 5 out of 5

    Juan Valera

    First and foremost, let it be said that I am reading a book intended for someone half my age. Artemis Fowl is the kind of book that grabs a kid by the eyeballs because of the pretty, shiny cover. But once the cover's open and the story laid out, Artemis Fowl is an incredibly gripping story about growing up, equality and acceptance. This was exactly the case when I first read Artemis Fowl; I immediately loved the intelligent, resourceful, but ultimately unhappy Artemis. A better character a teena First and foremost, let it be said that I am reading a book intended for someone half my age. Artemis Fowl is the kind of book that grabs a kid by the eyeballs because of the pretty, shiny cover. But once the cover's open and the story laid out, Artemis Fowl is an incredibly gripping story about growing up, equality and acceptance. This was exactly the case when I first read Artemis Fowl; I immediately loved the intelligent, resourceful, but ultimately unhappy Artemis. A better character a teenager could not have asked for: Smart enough to forgo schooling for months at a time, rich beyond my (then considerable, now perhaps less so) imagination, and he was searching for a world of magic and fairies that every kid wants to believe in. It surprises me that even now, a decade later, the book still absorbs my imagination. "Artemis Fowl" taught me a little about writing for your audience exactly because the book is just as enjoyable and relatable as it was before. It's important to write with an audience in mind; Colfer here writes for children, and the child in me recognizes it. The spark of imagination that wants to believe in fairies and gnomes and magic rejoices. If only you could make all writing this lovable, simply by writing for an audience instead of to it. Oh, wait. You can!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Brittany

    Well what to say, This book definitely had a younger audience in mind, but I still really enjoyed Holly. I definitely found myself on the side AGAINST Artemis right away. Artemis' attitude and the way that he talks to and treats others made him really hard to like. I wasn't a big fan of his.. Any redemption was too little too late for me unfortunately. The created world IS interesting, but it's not a series that I will rush to continue.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie (Bookfever)

    "A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old." Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer is my favorite book ever. EVER! I read it for the first time when I was fourteen years old and have been reading the series ever since. I've re-read the book over and over again. I can't even remember how many times I have read it but by now this book feels like an old friend and it's just as amazing as when I read it the first time. Now that I've re-read it once again, I think it's "A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old." Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer is my favorite book ever. EVER! I read it for the first time when I was fourteen years old and have been reading the series ever since. I've re-read the book over and over again. I can't even remember how many times I have read it but by now this book feels like an old friend and it's just as amazing as when I read it the first time. Now that I've re-read it once again, I think it's time for a review! When Holly Short gets abducted by Artemis Fowl II, a child prodigy from Ireland because he wants to ransom her for fairy gold, the book really gets going. The fairies are amazed by everything that Artemis knows about the People but they're definitely not giving up on Holly and are determined to rescue her and keep the gold in the meantime. But it seems that Artemis is always two steps ahead of them... Artemis sort of is an antagonist. He's no hero, and as is stated in the book: you can't romanticize him. This is absolutely true. And yet, I can't help but root for him. But on the other hand I also end up rooting for the fairies, especially Holly. Because she's so badass. You kind of just want both Artemis and Holly to win, whatever they're fighting for. Artemis definitely is a one of a kind character. I have never read about any character like him. He's twelve years old and a prodigy. No matter how many times I read this book, I'm always blown away by his genius (of should I say Eoin Colfer's genius?). In any case, he's probably my favorite fictional character ever created and I'm pretty sure it will never ever change. Holly is also one of my favorite characters. I love everything she stands for and even though there aren't that many female characters in his books, when there is, you can bet she'll end up having a very strong personality and being able to kick butt. So, yeah... that's Holly. She may be small but she can kick anyone's ass and is the first female on the LEPrecon squad + she has a feisty and reckless personality. Gotta love her! Personally, I think that this book has the greatest set of characters ever. Artemis and Holly aside, we also have Butler, Juliet, Commander Root and Foaly. I just love Butler. He always has Artemis's back and to me, he feels more like a father to Artemis than anything else. Juliet is Butlers teenage sister and she's a riot! Commander Root is simply epic. You definitely don't want to get on his bad side and Foaly is just brilliance itself. He's a centaur, a bit crazy and I love his wit! So do I have to say more? Artemis Fowl is a brilliant book. That's the way it just is. Eoin Colfer writes fast-paced, witty and sometimes even touching scenes. Is it any wonder he's my favorite author ever?

  18. 5 out of 5

    Lia (booksnpenguins)

    "If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written." Okay, so...I liked this, but I didn't love it. There's nothing really wrong with this book. It's actually pretty entertaining and easy to read, with its simple yet witty writing and interesting characters. However, I couldn't help but feel a little detached from the story and even bored at times, but I guess it's my fault for jumping into this story after a couple of royally good fantasy books that won't eas "If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That's the way history is written." Okay, so...I liked this, but I didn't love it. There's nothing really wrong with this book. It's actually pretty entertaining and easy to read, with its simple yet witty writing and interesting characters. However, I couldn't help but feel a little detached from the story and even bored at times, but I guess it's my fault for jumping into this story after a couple of royally good fantasy books that won't easily be topped. So yeah, it's not my favorite book in the world, but I can't say Artemis Fowl has many strong points, such as super likeable characters and a writing that's actually surprisingly great for a book this short and aimed to a younger target than me. And since I really had fun with it, the flaws in it are easily forgivable, and my son loved listening to me reading it (I think lmao), I'd feel bad giving it less than the four stars it totally deserves.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Tina ➹ the girl who lives in Fandoms (Book.Enchantress)

    I couldn't exactly relate to this story for some reasons: [don't hate, it's just my opinion. it could be announced as a ranting review, so if you a hardcore Fowl fan, don't continue.] first & most important one; why Artemis is a boy? I think you might say "it is an Irish name." or something, but I've grown up with the idea of Artemis goddess of the moon, so... yeah, I can't register that. 2) I don't think about stories of fairies or leprechauns; in other word, it's not my favourite subject to read ab I couldn't exactly relate to this story for some reasons: [don't hate, it's just my opinion. it could be announced as a ranting review, so if you a hardcore Fowl fan, don't continue.] first & most important one; why Artemis is a boy? I think you might say "it is an Irish name." or something, but I've grown up with the idea of Artemis goddess of the moon, so... yeah, I can't register that. 2) I don't think about stories of fairies or leprechauns; in other word, it's not my favourite subject to read about in the books. I like to see them in a Magic stories, but not a novel completely about them. tho this series probably is the most interesting, realistic & funny one I've ever read about them 3) Artemis was annoying & rude. (but funny sometimes.) 4) & he was kind of a criminal mastermind. beside I don't like criminal heroes (or the ones with very dark secrets/flaws in general), how old is he!? 12??? nope, I can't register this either. either way, I don't have any favourite character here. (Butler was interesting tho) I probably was too old when I read this & also had high expectations because of the hype. maybe if I discovered this myself I would enjoy it more. It was just Okay-ish.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Alaina

    Not going to lie.. this book has been on my radar for a while.. but once I saw that it was becoming a movie... well I jumped on this book quicker than a bottle of wine being uncorked! Artemis Fowl was such an interesting and enjoyable book. Artemis is basically your best nemesis ever! He's brilliant, evil as fudge, and a ruthless bastard all wrapped into one! Oh, did I forget to mentions he's also en evil millionaire mastermind?!?! He's like the Doctor Evil and the Mini Me all combined into one p Not going to lie.. this book has been on my radar for a while.. but once I saw that it was becoming a movie... well I jumped on this book quicker than a bottle of wine being uncorked! Artemis Fowl was such an interesting and enjoyable book. Artemis is basically your best nemesis ever! He's brilliant, evil as fudge, and a ruthless bastard all wrapped into one! Oh, did I forget to mentions he's also en evil millionaire mastermind?!?! He's like the Doctor Evil and the Mini Me all combined into one person! I loved it! Artemis, is bad, but soooooo freaking lovable. Sometimes you need a good villain to love - and boy did I love his character! I loved all of the magic too throughout this book. Maybe I'm on a magic high from the Children of Blood and Bone book but this book was such a nice followup! Overall, the book was amazing! I loved Holly, even though she was captured by Artemis.. but damn those fairies can be sneaky af. I can't wait to dive into the second book because I NEED MORE FROM ARTEMIS! I can't accept that the book is over right now!!

  21. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer Wardrip

    Reviewed by Me for TeensReadToo.com I've been trying to find a new series to hold me over until the next Harry Potter book--and I've finally found it. Meet Artemis Fowl the Second, a twelve-year old genius who doesn't want to go to school, is worried about his mother's fragile mental health, is preoccupied with his father coming back from the dead, and who is determined to add to his family's coffers by any means possible. In a word, Artemis is an evil genius, and you just can't help but love him Reviewed by Me for TeensReadToo.com I've been trying to find a new series to hold me over until the next Harry Potter book--and I've finally found it. Meet Artemis Fowl the Second, a twelve-year old genius who doesn't want to go to school, is worried about his mother's fragile mental health, is preoccupied with his father coming back from the dead, and who is determined to add to his family's coffers by any means possible. In a word, Artemis is an evil genius, and you just can't help but love him. Or hate him. Or love to hate him. Or hate to love him. Or...well, you get the picture. Artemis, along with his bodyguard/manservant/butler ironically named, of all things, Butler, Artemis sets out on his greatest, and most ambitious, scheme to date--discover the secrets of the fairy world, and relieve some of said fairies of their precious gold. After all, they have plenty to spare, and after Artemis Fowl the First lost a vast majority of their fortune, the Fowl family needs to pad the coffers. So off Artemis sets on a world jaunt to discover the secrets of the fairies, and his ambitions and delusions finally pay off--he meets an alcoholic sprite who, in exchange for the return of her magic, lets Artemis get a good look at her Book. The Book, you see, contains all the mandates, rules, and regulations (along with a slew of secrets) of the fairy world--and now Artemis Fowl is able to hatch his nefarious scheme. Artemis discovers that the fairies must adhere to very specific rituals to renew their powers, so along with Butler, he sets out on a stakeout to catch himself a fairy. Hoping, of course, that he can hold said fairy for ransom in exchange for some gold. What Artemis didn't include in his calculations, however, was Captain Holly Short. A member of the LEPrecon Unit, Holly, although a small sprite, is very human looking--and can be extrememely wily and dangerous. As Artemis implements his evil plan, Holly uses her own military-type background to hatch her own plan of escape. The results are both disastrous and hilarious. I read ARTEMIS FOWL in one sitting. Once you get started on this story of the human world of the Mud People mixing with that of the magical beings who live below ground, you just can't stop! The magical quality of the book is that it is all too believable--and so much fun! You envy Artemis his brilliance at the same time you can't believe how undenianably evil he is. You pity him, and you despise him. As for Holly Short, you love the fairy, admire her tenacity, yet hope at the same time that she spares the lives of Artemis, Butler, and Butler's sister, Juliet. I have to admit that I loved Foaly, the centaur in charge of computers and technical equipment. Actually, I loved ALL the characters of ARTEMIS FOWL, and can't wait to read the next book! Pick up a copy today!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Cody

    “If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.” “Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” It is such a delight to note that Artemis Fowl excels in characterisation and storytelling that both young and old alike will enjoy being trapped amongst its pages. The plot is a bit reminiscent of Die Hard, only with magical creatures and high tech weaponry. At only age 12, young Artemis Fowl exerts a genius-l “If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.” “Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.” It is such a delight to note that Artemis Fowl excels in characterisation and storytelling that both young and old alike will enjoy being trapped amongst its pages. The plot is a bit reminiscent of Die Hard, only with magical creatures and high tech weaponry. At only age 12, young Artemis Fowl exerts a genius-level intellect and a shrewd ideology making him a prodigy criminal mastermind. He descends from a long line of Fowls, an influential Irish family that has a manor on the outskirts of Dublin. The disappearance of his father and the mental fragility of his mother have placed a great burden on the Fowl family. One in which Artemis looks to remedy with the theft of a substantial amount of gold from a magical source humanity is completely unaware of. Along with his trusted bodyguard Butler and Butler's sister Juliet, Artemis hatches a plan to take back what he believes to be rightfully his. Hidden in the subterranean depths of earth exists a parallel community of various creatures including fairies, dwarves, goblins, and trolls that have triumphed by means of civilisation and technology well past what humanity has built. Rather ironically referred to as "The People," this collection of various creatures once lived side by side with humans, until they came to the conclusion that humanity is the very definition of exponential avarice, and in order to survive, sealed themselves off from humanity. Part of the problem is that security threats to themselves still exist, which has lead to the creation of a special police type force called LEPrecon, dedicated to concealing The People from humanity and arising to any such problems that threaten the stability of their world. Amongst them is a fairy named Holly Short. Holly is the first female officer in the force and looking to make a name for herself. She is later kidnapped by Artemis and held for ransom, bringing about a troop-load of fairy special forces to lay a siege on Fowl manor. Eoin Colfer has written a richly fun novel here with some really cool characters and excellent world building that feels real and purposeful. Artemis Fowl himself is such a badass anti-hero, and it was rewarding to discover him as a character, alongside the rest of the cast. The only real problem with the book is it's length, but it's satisfying so it can be overlooked, because the story feels so rewarding to undertake. The beginning of the series looks very promising. Rating: 4.5/5

  23. 4 out of 5

    Meridyforgot

    To be honest I haven't read the whole book, and there is a slim chance that I might try to continue and so I post this review. The problem is that the onslaught of cheap jabs at the "barbarian humans" destroying the earth is becoming extremely irritating. And miraculously Ireland is still nice and green, but give those humans a few hundred years and it will be destroyed. Please. It completely distracts from the story. Why do we have to spoon feed children dogmatic propaganda? Don't get me wrong. To be honest I haven't read the whole book, and there is a slim chance that I might try to continue and so I post this review. The problem is that the onslaught of cheap jabs at the "barbarian humans" destroying the earth is becoming extremely irritating. And miraculously Ireland is still nice and green, but give those humans a few hundred years and it will be destroyed. Please. It completely distracts from the story. Why do we have to spoon feed children dogmatic propaganda? Don't get me wrong. I'm all for trying to take care of our surroundings, but our surroundings do not need to be worshiped. And frankly calling me a barbarian and trying to make me feel guilty about killing whales (in eco-destroying lead ships)I haven't killed, is NOT going to make me sympathetic to your causes.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Wanda

    Artemis Fowl (or should that be Foul?) is an interesting mix of Lex Luthor and Encyclopedia Brown. He’s a boy genius with designs on leprechaun gold and he is willing to kidnap and deceive his way to his goal. But the fairy world is not going to just roll over and submit to Artemis’ demands, especially not Captain Holly Short, who is being held captive in Fowl Manor. It’s a quick read, well written. If I was part of the intended demographic, I would probably be more impressed, but it’s a bit tame Artemis Fowl (or should that be Foul?) is an interesting mix of Lex Luthor and Encyclopedia Brown. He’s a boy genius with designs on leprechaun gold and he is willing to kidnap and deceive his way to his goal. But the fairy world is not going to just roll over and submit to Artemis’ demands, especially not Captain Holly Short, who is being held captive in Fowl Manor. It’s a quick read, well written. If I was part of the intended demographic, I would probably be more impressed, but it’s a bit tame for adult tastes. Very appropriate for the children’s market, however. I would have no hesitation buying it for a school library. There are explosions, near-death-experiences, monsters, and evil plans, but no one loses their life. Colfer gives amusing names to his characters, like a butler named Butler and a centaur named Foaly. Looking for summer reading for your 10 year old? Consider Artemis Fowl!

  25. 5 out of 5

    Andrew

    Well I have a number of Eoin Colfer books in my collection but the Artemis series has always drawn my eye the most. Ironic that I finally get around to reading them when the first book is about to released as a film later this year. I think one of the issues was that out of the series I have all but the first two books in hardback while the first two are paperback and I was having a total mental block as well they were. Well I found them finally and I now am about to launch (via a few other distr Well I have a number of Eoin Colfer books in my collection but the Artemis series has always drawn my eye the most. Ironic that I finally get around to reading them when the first book is about to released as a film later this year. I think one of the issues was that out of the series I have all but the first two books in hardback while the first two are paperback and I was having a total mental block as well they were. Well I found them finally and I now am about to launch (via a few other distractions) in to them. I will admit that the book read as I was expecting considering the target reading group that said the action was fun and the dialogue amusing without being either patronising or childish. I know that Mr Colfer has made his name writing books for children but you can certainly see his talent for winding a brilliant and sometimes bizarre story which appeals to all ages. I had some time ago read his adult crime dramas (Screwed and Plugged) and found he has a great way of adding both sarcasm and drama to his work without feeling forced - this book also carries that charm and I can certainly see myself reading the others in the series. The story is relatively straight forward and obvious sets up for the rest of the series however I did find myself eagerly turning the next page to see what was going to happen next and considering (with no spoilers) there were limited options to how the story could end I was still satisfied with how it concluded. Now to get round to reading the next book.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Aoife

    I loved rereading this! It's been a long, long time since I read this when I was a child and it was great returning to the world of the 12-year-old Artemis Fowl - a child genius and criminal mastermind - who has decided to make the fairy world fall down at his feet and give up their gold so he can rebuild his family fortune. I had forgotten a lot of the details about this story so for most of the book it was like reading it for the first time, and gradually in a great way the memories came back t I loved rereading this! It's been a long, long time since I read this when I was a child and it was great returning to the world of the 12-year-old Artemis Fowl - a child genius and criminal mastermind - who has decided to make the fairy world fall down at his feet and give up their gold so he can rebuild his family fortune. I had forgotten a lot of the details about this story so for most of the book it was like reading it for the first time, and gradually in a great way the memories came back to me like how great Butler is and the hilariousness that is Mulch. I have always really loved Holly Short, the fairy that Fowl captures to catapult his plan into action, and secretly always fantasised about playing her in a film version, and this book just helped remind me of all the ways she is great. This book had me laughing, gasping, reminiscing and was a plain old good time and I'm SO GLAD I decided to reread it!!

  27. 5 out of 5

    ✘✘ Sarah ✘✘ (former Nefarious Breeder of Murderous Crustaceans)

    An quick, entertaining read but not as good as our friend Mr Potter... I usually love young adult's litterature but I just didn't like Colfer's writing style and the plot was really weak. Still, there are some good ideas here and I'm not surprised the book has been such a success.

  28. 5 out of 5

    ☀ Kat Nova ☀

    Ok so my friend forced me to read this and, ummm... WHERE WAS THIS SERIES WHEN I WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL bro I would've been obsessed with this shit. This was really fun, and that ending honestly made me smile. I now want to read the rest of the series and see this little bastard grow up :,)

  29. 5 out of 5

    Amber

    I read this because I want to see the movie without any kind of reader's guilt. It was fun and fast paced, but I wasn't super invested in the characters. I felt like it was very action based with little character development or enough time to really get to know the characters (and there are quite a few in here). I probably won't continue on with this series, but it was quick and easy to get through.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Luffy

    Due to the short length of this children's book, one device springs out from the words. By that I mean the quick building up of characters and what happens to them in the face of opposition. The forsaken sprite turned healer has to deal with our young anti hero, the titular Artemis Fowl. The latter himself is conducting a complex plan of his own. I hazarded, early on, that whatever his plan was, he would fail eventually. Since I know that there are other books of the series, I thought Artemis w Due to the short length of this children's book, one device springs out from the words. By that I mean the quick building up of characters and what happens to them in the face of opposition. The forsaken sprite turned healer has to deal with our young anti hero, the titular Artemis Fowl. The latter himself is conducting a complex plan of his own. I hazarded, early on, that whatever his plan was, he would fail eventually. Since I know that there are other books of the series, I thought Artemis was doomed to fail, like that mouse of Pinky and the Brain fame. Almost every single person in the book has some sort of power which may be taken away. There's the forgot-his-grade officer Root. And eventually something does happen to his hierarchy. There's Holly Short who has got her plate full. A book could be made of her daily struggles as the only female of her squad of law enforcers. This is a sprawling plot that, in any hand, could occupy a book thrice its current length. Holly is a magical creature, as is Root, and Foaly the centaur. Holly differs from them in that she cannot take the life of even Mud People, lightly. She is the nemesis to the anti hero Artemis. That is shown in a well written part where she defies orders and prevents loss of human, and- to take a leaf out of Star Wars prequels, a youngling's life. To be honest with you I was lost regarding the way fairy society, the magical brethren comprising of dwarfs, goblins, and other assorted chaps, is organised underground. I cannot imagine the contraptions of what little has been described in the book. There's talk of some shuttle like vehicle which rides on an eruptive, vertical wave of magma. All this is scrambled info for me. The fault lies with my reading skills. But even in a book where people's names were descriptive to their true status, beyond belief, passages exist that are not within my reach. The story spans across entire continents. The story is epic in pocket form. Artemis Fowl sets the ball rolling in Asia, and the action slowly yoyos westward to Ireland. The 12 year old antagonist's efforts in his search for a certain Book is mentioned in passing. In an adult book, that would be shown, and I'm glad here it is only hinted at. During their tactical tussle - Artemis, Butler, his little sister against the fairy police - we get to know that Artemis is pitting his wits against minds centuries older than his own. Having revealed his plan to get rich quickly and dirtily, everything is set for the boy to fail. The story writer makes the millennia aged traditions of the fairy folk a hindrance, rather than an asset. The fairy are magical and technologically very advanced. They are separate things here. The magic is not advanced science. The fairy folk are nocturnal and live underground. They were driven there by humans, who peopled the earth exponentially...whereas the fairies can beget kids only once every 20 years. This is a theme common in science fiction. The advanced, ancient tribe is demographically infertile. This aspect is only glossed over, and here I believe that this birth rate of the fairies has been like this naturally. It's only because of man's prolific breeding that has made the fairies retreat. It stands to reason that men could multiply probably because they were checked by no natural predators. And no magical folk too. The fairies are blessed with many things, but they are bound by their laws, which allows our precocious anti hero to be successful in his masterplan. The repelled forces of the fairies have to stick to their laws which state that anyone who successfully steals fairy gold can keep it on some conditions. This law was never enacted before, and no human had managed to keep fairy gold. Until Artemis came forward this law was useless. The fairy folk were confident of their security blanket. Are we supposed to view things from Fowl's perspective ? We are not supposed to hate him outright, methinks. But then this is indeed a children's book. There are ecological aspects to the story. It has been said in the book that Men's weapons are very cruel. Fairy weaponry is very efficient, as it wipes out only life and leaves the stones and the concrete and the soil unsullied. Which is more frightening, the human nuclear bomb, or the fairy blue rinsing? The ecological thing is definitely more sci fi than fantasy. This kid's book is laced in several genres. Rarely have I seen them blending so easily together.

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.