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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: - How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: - How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.


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Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: - How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid. From ghosts, vampires, and zombies to serial killers, cannibalistic hillbillies, and haunted Japanese videocassettes, How to Survive a Horror Movie shows how to defeat every obstacle found in scary films. Readers will discover: - How to Perform an Exorcism - What to Do If You Did Something Last Summer - How to Persuade the Skeptical Local Sheriff - How to Vanquish a Murderous Doll - How to Survive an Alien Invasion - How to Tell If You've Been Dead Since the Beginning of the Movie and much, much more. Complete with useful instructions, insane illustrations, and a list of 100 important films to study, How to Survive a Horror Movie is essential reading for prom queens, jocks, teenage babysitters, and anyone employed by a summer camp.

30 review for How to Survive a Horror Movie

  1. 5 out of 5

    Kat

    i’ll save u all the trouble of reading this by giving u a tidbit of advice from within if ur in a horror movie and battling satan, show him ur dick i did not make that up u r welc

  2. 4 out of 5

    Mike (the Paladin)

    I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. Sh I saw this book reviewed here...and felt strangely compelled to reserve it at the library. Just after picking it up and reading the opening chapter on how to tell if you actually are trapped in a horror movie....I discovered a box of very old books I hadn't realized I even owned??? Upon finding them I went searching out shelf space for the dusty old volumes (oddly as soon as I went into the dark bedroom to shelve the books my cat screamed and leapt from one of the shadowy shelves right at me. She'd never done anything like that before...weird.) As I settled down to read How To Survive a Horror Movie...an unpredicted thunder storm broke outside and we had a power failure. Well, doing the obvious thing I went into the dark attic to rummage through a still packed box to find a flashlight, (we just moved into this place...it was oddly torn up and had a lot of damage to the walls and woodwork before the landlord did the repairs, he was strangely close mouthed about who lived here before, and what happened.) Anyway, having gotten the flashlight (I'll have to check out that odd noise, the rattling scrape that kept up over in the darkest corner of the attic while I was up there, but I don't have time now.) I returned to my dark corner with my favorite chair, near the unusual little rock I found in the garden, the one that seems to have a human face on it. I keep it on my computer desk. Anyway, with my flashlight I started to read again only to be distracted by a huge clap of thunder and an unusually bright flash of lightening. The flash showed a face outside the window, some guy in a hockey mask... Well you get the idea, it wasn't shaping up to be a great night. Along with the Zombie Survival Guide this may be an essential volume for well...surviving, you know, staying alive and not ending up dead....or undead, or whatever. The book is fun, I got a lot of laughs and while it's not actually funny from cover to cover, it's enough so that I'll give it a 4. Oh, the lights are back on. You'll have to excuse me now, there's someone at the door and they're stuck out in the storm. The TV came back on with the power and I have to turn it down, so I can hear what the person at the door is saying. There was something on the TV about an escaped mental patient, a murderer from the hospital for the criminally insane and I can't leave whoever that is out there in the storm with a dangerous killer on the loose.... Noticed there's an Audible version of this now (and it's their daily special today) if you're interested in an audio version.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Jessica

    I received this book for free from the publisher (Quirk Books) in exchange for an honest review. This was such a fun read! This book essentially makes fun of horror movies and all the cliches that come with them. For example, one of the things it says NOT to do is investigate strange things. The book explicitly states, “Investigation = mutilation” (pg. 36). Nothing good ever comes from checking something out. That’s just asking to be murdered. The book also alludes to many famous horror movies, I received this book for free from the publisher (Quirk Books) in exchange for an honest review. This was such a fun read! This book essentially makes fun of horror movies and all the cliches that come with them. For example, one of the things it says NOT to do is investigate strange things. The book explicitly states, “Investigation = mutilation” (pg. 36). Nothing good ever comes from checking something out. That’s just asking to be murdered. The book also alludes to many famous horror movies, so horror enthusiasts will have fun catching them all. The short forward/apology from Wes Craven was perfect. So on brand and a great way to kick of the book. The illustrations and the list of movie recommendations were a nice touch as well. The only critique I have is that I would have loved a concluding chapter to bring the book full circle. Or even a short paragraph stating something like, “Congratulations! If you’ve made it this far then you are one of the rare survivors of a horror movie…” I thought it was a missed opportunity and would have been the perfect place for one final joke about horror movies. Overall, if you’re a fan of horror movies or just want a fun Halloween read, then read this book!

  4. 4 out of 5

    karen

    i had to read this when i saw that he has a jane austen/zombie book coming out soon. this was a good way to kill time until the release date. but now i am finally going to have to read pride and prejudice!! dammit!

  5. 5 out of 5

    Latasha

    this book is HILARIOUS!!!!! if you love - or even just like- horror movies, you should own this book.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sadie Hartmann Mother Horror

    3 out of 5 Skulls! January/February Issue of SCREAM Mag “I’ve built a career on the blood of innocents, and I guess the guilt’s finally caught up with me.” -Wes Craven/Introduction to How to Survive a Horror Movie I knew this book was going to be a fun read after briefly skimming the Table of Contents and seeing that the Foreward was titled, “An Apology by Wes Craven”. Another indication was that the entire book is filled with illustrations and who doesn’t love pictures?! This book has several intend 3 out of 5 Skulls! January/February Issue of SCREAM Mag “I’ve built a career on the blood of innocents, and I guess the guilt’s finally caught up with me.” -Wes Craven/Introduction to How to Survive a Horror Movie I knew this book was going to be a fun read after briefly skimming the Table of Contents and seeing that the Foreward was titled, “An Apology by Wes Craven”. Another indication was that the entire book is filled with illustrations and who doesn’t love pictures?! This book has several intended audiences and perhaps in reading this review, you’ll be able to identify yourself as one of them. If you are a horror film-buff, this is for you. The pages are stuffed with references to iconic movies and you will be able to relate to all the clever ways Seth Grahame-Smith celebrates classic, horror movie plot points and patterns. If you shy away from horror movies (like me) but you love to read horror fiction and non-fiction, this book is also for you. The author does a good job of keeping things general enough that this doesn’t feel like too much of an inside joke-you won’t feel like you’re missing anything if you haven’t watched all the movies used as examples. For instance the section titled, How to Survive a Haunted House has a “yes” or “no” checklist so that if you find yourself in a dubious house, you can answer ten simple questions like, “Do the faucets or showerheads bleed?” Or “Are there Civil-War era children playing in the attic?” In the back of the book is an Appendix for people like me with a study guide list of movies horror movie newbies should watch in order to learn how to survive one. I’m considering studying up! I also think people who enjoy humor and a coffee table-style quick read would appreciate having this book. It would be a great conversation starter at an awkward dinner party or something. It’s written in such a way that you could pick it up on the train commute home from work or just read a desirable section to a friend. It’s something every horror fan should have in their collection, let’s put it that way. My only real complaint was that I felt like I had watched something like this on YouTube before? Or read something pretty similar. Nothing felt super original and the jokes were sometimes on the predictable or corny side--but that aside, I think this book is worthy of your time, money and space on your shelves. Quirk knows how to put out a sexy edition (see PAPERBACKS FROM HELL by Grady Hendrix) and Seth Grahame-Smith is clearly an expert in horror cinema. A winning combination. 3.5 stars out of 5

  7. 5 out of 5

    Ellen Gail

    Ridiculously fun. A total treat for a horror movie nut like me! I can still remember the first time a horror movie truly scared me. To clarify, I was not allowed to watch them. Didn't stop me. I was twelve, and up way past my bedtime watching a late night rerun of a horror movie I'd never seen or even heard of before. I had a big box TV mounted to the wall in my bedroom. So in order to stealthily watch it, I had to plug my clunky headphones into said TV and stand on a chair because the headphones Ridiculously fun. A total treat for a horror movie nut like me! I can still remember the first time a horror movie truly scared me. To clarify, I was not allowed to watch them. Didn't stop me. I was twelve, and up way past my bedtime watching a late night rerun of a horror movie I'd never seen or even heard of before. I had a big box TV mounted to the wall in my bedroom. So in order to stealthily watch it, I had to plug my clunky headphones into said TV and stand on a chair because the headphones didn't have a long cord. It was all worth it to sneak-watch something I wasn't supposed to. And I was LOVING what I was seeing. There was blood and fire and it was great. Then the ending happened. I fell off my chair and a horror movie obsession was born. 18 years later, my horror loving heart is still going strong. Which makes How to Survive a Horror Movie literally perfect for me. It was just a treat to read. I could literally talk about horror movies for days on end. A book that both delights in and pokes fun at a genre that is truly special to me is a rare and delightful find. I have tiny complaints - the artistic style doesn't work for me. The artist is clearly a talented dude, but it doesn't do anything for me personally. Also, the book jacket mentions "study material" of 100 films, but there are only 58 listed? Of which I've seen 40 something, so I've either got a little catching up to do or have seen too many already. One or the other. I just can't complain much about something that was so fun! It was a case of me and a book being destined for each other. And finally, I just have one question for you: ———————————————- Pre-review How have I never heard of this, it sounds right up my alley. Amazon here I come!

  8. 5 out of 5

    destiny ♡⚔♡ [howling libraries]

    As someone who has been watching horror films religiously since I was... 5 years old, probably? I felt like I had to read this. I adore horror films of every subgenre and style, mainstream or indie, comedic or extreme — they're one of my singular favorite things in life and one of my greatest comforts, so to say I should be the prime audience for this book is saying the least. I've enjoyed this author's sense of humor when I was much younger, so I hoped I still would, but honestly... it's just re As someone who has been watching horror films religiously since I was... 5 years old, probably? I felt like I had to read this. I adore horror films of every subgenre and style, mainstream or indie, comedic or extreme — they're one of my singular favorite things in life and one of my greatest comforts, so to say I should be the prime audience for this book is saying the least. I've enjoyed this author's sense of humor when I was much younger, so I hoped I still would, but honestly... it's just reached the point of being annoying. The book made the same reference 6+ times in the first 10% of the book (yes, we get it, you hated Jason X! Almost everyone else did, too!), most of the jokes felt stale and tired, and many of the "objective" remarks were just patently false (maybe that was intentional, but it didn't feel like it — do you really mean to tell me you think the only historical horror films are vampire and mummy flicks? I have at least 15 other comments I want to gripe about similarly, but we'd be here all day)... And then, it felt like a big section of the book just degenerated into "jokes" about other cultures/countries being the source of "evil" objects, curses, etc., which felt so over-played and boring and unoriginal. Like this gem: It’s widely accepted that all African villages have demons that spend their time possessing young local girls. Therefore, any hand-crafted souvenirs (especially tribal masks) from that continent are likely carrying some residual evil. "But it's satire, Destiny! You're missing the point!" some of you are saying, I know, and to that I reply, it still wasn't funny. It was cheap. I haven't written a rant review in a long time and part of me doesn't even want to post this, but I was just so let down by this book that everyone swore would be perfect for me that I can't help but fuss a little. I'm sure plenty of people will love this, and that's fine, but it wasn't for me. It wasn't all bad, and I appreciated a lot of the more subtle references, and I have no doubt that the author is a huge horror film fan, too... I'm just really disappointed in my experience reading this.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Juli

    I love horror movies. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I relish thriller and suspense novels. I guess if I can dress up as, watch, or read about fictional horrific things, it puts the problems I encounter in life into a better perspective. Sort of like -- Hey I can handle a flat tire during a snow storm...piece of cake. At least I'm not that babysitter who got the call about the killer being inside the house. See? Perspective. But, I do have to say, it is disappointing when a story is clocking I love horror movies. Halloween is my favorite holiday. I relish thriller and suspense novels. I guess if I can dress up as, watch, or read about fictional horrific things, it puts the problems I encounter in life into a better perspective. Sort of like -- Hey I can handle a flat tire during a snow storm...piece of cake. At least I'm not that babysitter who got the call about the killer being inside the house. See? Perspective. But, I do have to say, it is disappointing when a story is clocking down to the Final Girl and characters are making rookie mistakes, especially if the tale is a sequel. You guys couldn't learn the rules in the first 8 movies?? Damn. Get smarter murder-fodder. Years ago, my husband and I used to pause movies to discuss the mistakes the characters were making and guess their mode of demise. Ooops....ran up the stairs and shut herself in the bathroom. Yeah -- smart move, cupcake. Ohhh, he's going down in the basement to flip the breaker switch? Alone? Another smart decision. Ohh look...the couple is going to walk through the woods to get help. Isn't that cute? Wrong!!!! Sigh....it's like they don't even have a clue. Even on television series there are similar moments that leave us shaking our heads. I remember well one zombie show we stopped watching because it drove us INSANE. None of the characters could remember to shut a damn door when they came inside. Ummm...hello? Zombies outside...neighbors being eaten....you SHUT the patio door. I can't sympathize with characters who screw up that bad....or a script that has such an obvious set up for munch-time. Bleck. We spent two episodes rooting for the zombies....and then stopped watching the show. But I digress...I am going to review this book. Promise. Because my family watches horror movies and critiques them instead of being scared, I knew I needed to read this book. It first came out in 2007...but obviously none of the victims in horror movies in the last 12 years read it. They are still making the same mistakes. So....this new and improved edition released in 2019 should help save lives, right? At least the general public now has a chance to find out a few things: 1. Am I in a horror movie? 2. What do I do if I discover I am, in fact, inside a horror movie. and 3. How do I survive to the end credits? I had the best time reading this book! I found myself nodding and agreeing with the lists and advice. Very entertaining and fun to read! And I now find myself wanting to sit and binge watch some horror. The characters will still make all those bad errors in judgement....but in the end, it's just fiction, right? Right? *Looks around nervously* Was that a strange music stab? Are those really hooded figures chanting outside in my front yard? OMG...who drew that strange symbol on the floor of my office? Uh oh..... **I voluntarily read a review copy of this book from Quirk Books via Edelweiss. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. No lost campers were slashed during the writing of this review. Honest.**

  10. 5 out of 5

    Deb✨

    Humorous, thorough (it covered about everything as if you suddenly somehow found yourself as an actor in one and weren't aware, haha) and a fairly quick read.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Trudi

    Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius. The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are Horror movies and I? We go way back. I've been a voracious consumer since I was eight and my enthusiasm for the genre hasn't diminished with ... ahem ... maturity and wisdom. So yeah, it's been a lifelong love affair, one I don't hide, or feel I need to apologize for. Because even amidst the dreck, there exists some awesome cinematic gems, and amidst the classics there are film moments of hair-raising, heart-stopping, enviable genius. The naysayers who decry: "how can you watch that garbage" are rude asshats, unimaginative douchebags or big fat chickens. Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Rationally I know horror movies aren't for everyone, but there's that rabid part of my brain that thinks if you're not with us, you're against us. In writing this little manifesto on how to survive a horror movie, Seth Grahame-Smith proves that he understands horror and humor are a marriage made in heaven – the two go together like Pam and Jim, Butch and Sundance, Pancho and Lefty, Dolly and Kenny and that other celestial match – Sam and Bruce. Horror indulges in all forms of comedy – satire, slapstick, black, blue, Freudian, farce, irony – you name it, it’s been done; in some cases to humbling effect, either deliberately with great focus, or by happy, moronic accident. Don’t believe me? Look no further than these cinema classics (and I’m not being facetious here): An American Werewolf in London, Evil Dead I and II, The Return of the Living Dead, Creepshow, and Shaun of the Dead. All of the above are prime examples of why I’d rather be watching horror movies rather than reading about them. But every now and then a book of this sort breaks through my defenses, giving me that “come hither” look I just can’t resist. This book has giggles, a few gut busters, and a whole lot of in-jokes delivered with tongue firmly planted in cheek. There are some sections that fall flat being over-written and a little dumb, but there are also shining moments of pure cleverness. Any die-hard horror fan who reads this little book is going to think “I could have written this and probably done a better job”; maybe, but you didn’t, and neither did I so we’re going to shut our pie holes and give props where they’re due. More than anything, this little book is pure goddamn fun. Plain and simple. However, it is not a classic – for that you have to read If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor and Danse Macabre. These definitive texts will teach you everything you need to know about the industry, the genre, the people who make their living by it, and the people who love it. Seth Grahame-Smith wants to make us laugh, but it also comes across how much he loves celluloid horror and because of that I know he is one of us and therefore to be trusted. There are just too many delightful nuggets to quote from here and rather than trying to capture them all I’m just going to say go read the book. But I can’t resist throwing out a few of my favorites: The Seven Deadly Horror Movie Sins: 3rd Deadly Sin: Independence – “Screw you guys I’m going home”. Actually you’re going about a third of the way home. 5th Deadly Sin: Curiosity – “Do you think it’s dead?” No. Go ahead and poke it with a stick. How to Defeat a Killer Doll: Kick the Crap Out of It. Why are you running away from something that could be imprisoned with Legos? How to Kill a Vampire: Interview It. What to Do If Your Corn Has Children In It (I still can’t say this out loud without giggling my ass off) The Amityville Horror (1979) – Bad things happen in house. Family buys house. Bad things happen to family. Carrie (1976) – If you haven’t seen this masterpiece yet, pelt yourself with tampons and go to your prayer closet. The Hitcher (1986) – How many times do I have to tell you: Never pick up Rutger Hauer! Seven (1995) – I went to see this film by myself on a cold, rainy Boston day. I haven’t smiled since. The Sixth Sense (1999) – Hi, my name’s M. Night Shyamalan. Trust me…you’ll learn how to pronounce it.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Stacee

    I’m a huge fan of horror movies and I loved P+P+Z, so I was intrigued by this. I loved the sections and how it was chaptered out. Pretty much everything was filled with snark and I found myself laughing out loud in several places. The contrasting pages and illustrations made for something a little extra that I wasn’t expecting. Overall, it was a quick and fun read. I’m sure I’ll have it in my head for the next horror movie I see. **Huge thanks to Quirk Books for providing the arc free of charge* I’m a huge fan of horror movies and I loved P+P+Z, so I was intrigued by this. I loved the sections and how it was chaptered out. Pretty much everything was filled with snark and I found myself laughing out loud in several places. The contrasting pages and illustrations made for something a little extra that I wasn’t expecting. Overall, it was a quick and fun read. I’m sure I’ll have it in my head for the next horror movie I see. **Huge thanks to Quirk Books for providing the arc free of charge**

  13. 4 out of 5

    Emily

    "I've always had a special place in my heart for horror movie characters." How to Survive a Horror Movie is a guide for what to do if you find yourself unfortunately trapped in a horror movie. This ended up being more of a coffee table book than an actual book to read, but that's fine. I think it was a little too long for the coffee table book style, and I ended up losing interest somewhere along the way, and skimming. It was entertaining, but I'm not really sure that it offers anything new or u "I've always had a special place in my heart for horror movie characters." How to Survive a Horror Movie is a guide for what to do if you find yourself unfortunately trapped in a horror movie. This ended up being more of a coffee table book than an actual book to read, but that's fine. I think it was a little too long for the coffee table book style, and I ended up losing interest somewhere along the way, and skimming. It was entertaining, but I'm not really sure that it offers anything new or unique. Some of it was amusing, and some of it was tedious. I guess I was hoping it would be more personal and in more of a storytelling format. Overall, it's a fun & quick read for horror movie fans.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Gary

    Well, now I know that all I have to do to survive is whip my junk out since full-frontal male nudity does not exist in horror films. Cheers!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Suzanne

    Finally - a self-help book that addresses my life!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Melissa Chung

    I received this book from Quirk Books for an honest review. I want to thank Quirk Books for sending this one my way. Super fun read. How to Survive a Horror Movie was a blast to read. If you like fake self help books then you'll love this quirky read. It was so much fun. How to review this book. Let's break it down by....looks, format, information, and overall read. Looks- It's a cute little book. I enjoy chubby/squat books because they are obviously cute to look at, but they are also easy to hold. I received this book from Quirk Books for an honest review. I want to thank Quirk Books for sending this one my way. Super fun read. How to Survive a Horror Movie was a blast to read. If you like fake self help books then you'll love this quirky read. It was so much fun. How to review this book. Let's break it down by....looks, format, information, and overall read. Looks- It's a cute little book. I enjoy chubby/squat books because they are obviously cute to look at, but they are also easy to hold. The illustrations are superb. They were so fun to look at I had to share a lot of them on Instagram. If you like pictures of evil dolls, creepy cemeteries and squawking ravens, than this book is for you. Format-There are six chapters broken up into Terrorverse, Slasher Survival School, Inanimate Evil, Crypt-Ography, Monster Mash and The Satanic "versus". Each chapter asks you how you can tell you are in a horror movie and then asks you questions to see if you may or may not be experiencing said horror outcomes. There are 5 kinds of movies you could be in...Slashers, Evil Places and Things, The Undead, Monsters or Satanic. "This book contains the tactics to help you survive each and everyone one of these subgenres." Information is key to staying alive when it comes to a horror movie. If you follow the C.R.A.V.E.N. method during a horror emergency you are more likely to live to be in a sequel. (Cover, Recon, Arsenal, Vehicle, Escape, North). There's also wonderful information like 10 places to never, ever, ever go under any circumstances. Overall Read- This was fun. I couldn't stop smiling. Is this book going to teach me something? Probably not, unless of course, we really do find ourselves in a dire situation with children from the corn or maybe a chainsaw wielding crazy person. It is definitely a book that I can browse through on a rainy day or to share with friends. It has a home on any horror lovers shelf. I will definitely be keeping this one.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Tiffy

    Such a fun book for everyone to read and/or listen to if they are into horror movies.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Niki

    Look, I had just finished Come Tumbling Down, and the world we visit there is constantly compared to a horror movie, so I HAD to pick this one next, right? Right. This is a quick, fun read if you have a few hours to fill. It's funny while you're reading it, but probably quite forgettable afterwards ("probably" because I only just finished it a few hours ago, only time will tell for sure) But I was definitely satisfied while it lasted.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Eli

    This was so awesome. As a horror movie fanatic, I really love this type of thing. It was really hilarious and poked fun at all the stupid things that happen in horror movies without denouncing the genre. It was packed with tons of references to various horror movies across the genre (from Halloween to Saw to Snakes on a Plane). And with a foreword by Wes Craven, you may be able to do no wrong. This book reminded me of Scream in many ways, but it really expanded and included various genres and si This was so awesome. As a horror movie fanatic, I really love this type of thing. It was really hilarious and poked fun at all the stupid things that happen in horror movies without denouncing the genre. It was packed with tons of references to various horror movies across the genre (from Halloween to Saw to Snakes on a Plane). And with a foreword by Wes Craven, you may be able to do no wrong. This book reminded me of Scream in many ways, but it really expanded and included various genres and situations. I found it hilarious. There's also a recommended viewing list in the back. I do love lists. I copied it for future reference.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Rosie

    "Investigation = mutilation" 😂👍🏻 This was such a quick and funny read. I read a lot of it out loud to my husband (which I'm sure he was entertained by). I loved the foreword by Wes Craven too 🙌🏻 . I'd definitely recommend this for horror fans. It makes fun of the cliches and the token horror movie mistakes, but at the same time reminded me of why the horror genre is my favourite genre.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Lilyn G. | Sci-Fi & Scary |

    This made me laugh so damned hard. A must have for horror fans. Full review to come. Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for review consideration.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Devann

    actual rating: 3.5 This was funny, but also kind of exhausting? I generally feel this way about a comedy book when it's like every. single. sentence. is a reference to something so about halfway through you're just like god this feels like an extended Family Guy episode and there's a reason those are so short. The premise is entertaining and there were several good bits and I even laughed out loud at some points, but it also seemed to be kind of all over the place and written both as if you are i actual rating: 3.5 This was funny, but also kind of exhausting? I generally feel this way about a comedy book when it's like every. single. sentence. is a reference to something so about halfway through you're just like god this feels like an extended Family Guy episode and there's a reason those are so short. The premise is entertaining and there were several good bits and I even laughed out loud at some points, but it also seemed to be kind of all over the place and written both as if you are in an actual 'horrorverse' world and also as if you are just on a movie set so I feel like maybe he didn't really have enough material and was trying to stretch it out. There are several comic-style illustrations throughout which I thought was a nice touch. There was also a list of horror movies at the end that he thought were 'the best' and that you should watch, which I always find a bit pretentious but maybe that's just me [I mean, it's not there was really anything on there we haven't all heard of before]. Anyway, a decent enough book and only took me about an hour to read, but in my opinion not as good as his longer fiction works.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    The Good: The book starts off with a delightful prologue from Wes Craven, which is definitely worth the read. Seth Grahame-Smith is quickly becoming a household name, especially with a movie adaption of his Pride & Prejudice & Zombies coming out soon. How to Survive a Horror Movie contains a wealth of his tongue-in-cheek humor that fans will love. As an avid horror movie fan, I appreciated quite a bit of what the author was putting out there in this book. "What to Do If Your Corn Has Children In The Good: The book starts off with a delightful prologue from Wes Craven, which is definitely worth the read. Seth Grahame-Smith is quickly becoming a household name, especially with a movie adaption of his Pride & Prejudice & Zombies coming out soon. How to Survive a Horror Movie contains a wealth of his tongue-in-cheek humor that fans will love. As an avid horror movie fan, I appreciated quite a bit of what the author was putting out there in this book. "What to Do If Your Corn Has Children In It" may just be the best chapter title ever. The Bad: This is much less useful compared to other pop culture survival books in terms of actual real world application. At least in the Zombie Survival Guide, I learned tips that could be used in situations other than zombie attacks. This book rested solely on its humor and that was asking too much of it. While parts are very funny, others fall flat. This is very much a coffee table book - something to build a conversation around rather than something to be read.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Jim Gorman

    This was not too bad of a book. I real tongue in cheek on how to survive in a horror movie. It goes over such things as figuring out if you are in a horror movie, what type and how to survive. It's pretty funny if you are a fan of horror movies. I was able to identify so many that I have seen from the descriptions of the situation. It pretty much follows the logic that I shout at the screen right before someone gets killed. My only issue with the book is that there are several breaks for other i This was not too bad of a book. I real tongue in cheek on how to survive in a horror movie. It goes over such things as figuring out if you are in a horror movie, what type and how to survive. It's pretty funny if you are a fan of horror movies. I was able to identify so many that I have seen from the descriptions of the situation. It pretty much follows the logic that I shout at the screen right before someone gets killed. My only issue with the book is that there are several breaks for other information or quick escape plans. But instead of putting them between chapters, or at the end of internal sections of a chapter, they were just plopped in. I wound up reading the section or chapter I was on and then going back to read that page or two. I just found it kind of disruptive while reading. It was never many pages to go back, the sections or chapters were short. But it still was something i found annoying. Going down a list, and the opposite page was one of these breaks. So had to read on and go back to read the break. But that was just me. Other than that it was fun.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Brenton

    Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next. I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse w Perhaps capitalizing on the zombie survival trend, this book attempts to cover ALL manner of horror films and tells the reader how to tell if you're in one and what to do next. I found it humorous enough, but it felt like the author was rather stretched for material. He seemed to bounce back and forth between two vantage points - one being that there actually is a Horrorverse and you are in it, the other being that you are just on a movie set. The advice for what to do in the actual Horrorverse was funny and engaging, but it seemed that whenever he ran out of ideas the author started to write as though you are only on a movie set, and tailored his survival advice towards using this fact to your advantage. This seemed like a sloppy copout to me, and damaged the cohesiveness of the book. If you're just on a set, then you're not really in any mortal danger to begin with, so that whole shtick seemed to shoot the book in its own foot.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Fiona

    There are two things you can’t change in this world: a husband who lets the dishes pile up, and a haunted house. Both lead to nothing but frustration, fear, and, eventually, a gruesome death. Full of excellent advice, only surpassed by it's humour.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Michael

    Let's be honest here and admit that for the most part that horror films are predictable. Scream gave us some easy to follow rules to survive a horror movie and now we have a survival guide written by the guy who gave us Pride Prejudice And Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. How you view this book depends on your views of the horror genre. If you aren't a fan then you'll hate this (if you hate horror films why are you even reading this review?). It's quite a humorous book that doesn't t Let's be honest here and admit that for the most part that horror films are predictable. Scream gave us some easy to follow rules to survive a horror movie and now we have a survival guide written by the guy who gave us Pride Prejudice And Zombies and Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. How you view this book depends on your views of the horror genre. If you aren't a fan then you'll hate this (if you hate horror films why are you even reading this review?). It's quite a humorous book that doesn't take a lot of time to read and there really useful information packed in here to ensure that you actually survive and live to breath another day. It clearly takes the piss to the entire genre and nothing is sacred. Everything that you could encounter in the terrorverse is covered. Zombies, vampires, and even killer dolls. Nothing in this book will save you from anything in the real world so if you're looking to fight of muggers or terrorists you are completely fucked. It's obvious that Seth is a fan and that's what makes the book so amusing. You can't help but laugh at these tips even though they could save your life if you're in a horror movie. As a fan and writer of the horror genre I become even more aware of just how predictable this genre is and I think we all know this, but that's why we're all fans. We know what's going to happen and now thanks to Seth we can survive! As good as this book is there's really no reason to re-read this so that drags it down a little. If you laughed the first time what are the odds that you'll find yourself laughing just as hard if you read it a second or third time. It's a great conversation starter for horror fans and it allows us to see the films through the eyes of their creator. When we watch a horror movie we will laugh as everyone dies and we know exactly how to survive. We can thank Seth for giving us the knowledge that will save our asses.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Scott Rhee

    Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books. In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps unli Seth Grahame-Smith obviously spent a large part of his childhood (and much of his adulthood) watching horror movies. I can totally relate to this, as I have spent most of my life watching horror movies as well. Clearly, those of us who are not in jail or mental institutions have learned to channel (or divert) our love of horror movies into something healthy. For Grahame-Smith, it's writing books. In "How to Survive a Horror Movie", SGS has written the ultimate survival guide for the perhaps unlikely but frighteningly possible scenario of finding one's self stuck in a horror movie. *Would you know the correct weapon to use against a psychotic child-killer that appears to victims in dreams? (Answer: No-Doze and/or having Heather Langenkamp or Johnny Depp as a significant other) *Would you be able to recognize the 10 ways to determine if your house is haunted? (Do your faucets bleed? Does the house tell you to "get out"? Are you strangely compelled to murder your entire family with an axe every time you arrive home? If the answer is "yes" to all of these, chances are good your house is haunted) *Could you tell when an animal is evil? (Creatures that are "always evil", according to SGS: monkeys, rottweilers, and sharks, just to name three.) *Do you know the only correct solution to arriving on a planet full of hostile aliens? (Answer: "Nuke the entire planet from orbit: it's the only way to be sure...") This invaluable book is chock-full of excellent advice for keeping your stupid ass alive in case of alien invasions, your car stalls in the middle of an old forgotten town, or if you ever find yourself being chased by kids in a cornfield. You never know, it could happen...

  29. 4 out of 5

    Audra (ouija.doodle.reads)

    This book is a MUST-READ for horror fans! I loved this little guidebook to the Terrorverse. Grahame-Smith is more than proficient in storytelling tropes when it comes to horror, so he is the perfect guide for a quippy, hilarious look at what makes horror movies tick. I found myself laughing out loud as I read. The book is devised as seemingly endless lists like how to defeat survive a haunted house; how to stay awake for a week; 10 things to never, ever, ever put in a child’s room; and how to tell This book is a MUST-READ for horror fans! I loved this little guidebook to the Terrorverse. Grahame-Smith is more than proficient in storytelling tropes when it comes to horror, so he is the perfect guide for a quippy, hilarious look at what makes horror movies tick. I found myself laughing out loud as I read. The book is devised as seemingly endless lists like how to defeat survive a haunted house; how to stay awake for a week; 10 things to never, ever, ever put in a child’s room; and how to tell if an object is evil. This book is a meta-experience, the whole thing making fun of the unspoken rule in horror films that the realm of horror has never existed. You know, all of a sudden, the characters are attacked by zombies and we’re all screaming “aim for the head!!!” but the characters act like they’ve been living under a rock and have never even heard of zombies before. Instead, this guide imagines putting someone who has horror movie knowledge (it’s you, dear reader!) into the movie. Not only will they know it’s horror, but also they’ll know it’s a movie. Genius and hilarious, and 100 points for poking fun at all the classic horror clichés. I really felt my creative juices getting all stirred up as I read this—I think it could also be an excellent resource for writers who are thinking about horror tropes: how to use them and how to subvert them. I think this book would make a weirdly compelling horror movie itself. My thanks to Quirk Books for my copy of this one to read and review!

  30. 4 out of 5

    James Tullos

    I was given an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. It's difficult for me to review comedy because all I can say is "That's funny." This book is really funny, it's just an overview of horror movie cliches presented as a survival guide for the characters. It's full of small little jokes poking fun at the genre that had me laughing consistently. Normally I'd give this 4 stars but while reading you get a genuine feeling that the writer loves horror movies and is just poking fun at I was given an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. It's difficult for me to review comedy because all I can say is "That's funny." This book is really funny, it's just an overview of horror movie cliches presented as a survival guide for the characters. It's full of small little jokes poking fun at the genre that had me laughing consistently. Normally I'd give this 4 stars but while reading you get a genuine feeling that the writer loves horror movies and is just poking fun at them. Sometimes these sorts of parodies come across as mean-spirited, like the creator(s) hate what they're spoofing, and this manages to avoid that. Part of me doesn't want to give this 5 stars because I reserve those for grand, epic stories that blow me away, the rest of me remembers that this wasn't trying to be some grand story, it's just a funny love letter to the horror genre. If you like horror movies, check it out. It's not very long and easy to get through. If you don't like horror movies, then most of the humor probably won't hit you, so you can skip it.

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