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Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More, and Live Bolder

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In a book inspired by her popular TED talk, New York Times bestselling author Reshma Saujani empowers women and girls to embrace imperfection and bravery. Imagine if you lived without the fear of not being good enough. If you didn't care how your life looked on Instagram, or worry about what total strangers thought of you. Imagine if you could let go of the guilt, and stop In a book inspired by her popular TED talk, New York Times bestselling author Reshma Saujani empowers women and girls to embrace imperfection and bravery. Imagine if you lived without the fear of not being good enough. If you didn't care how your life looked on Instagram, or worry about what total strangers thought of you. Imagine if you could let go of the guilt, and stop beating yourself up for tiny mistakes. What if, in every decision you faced, you took the bolder path? Too many of us feel crushed under the weight of our own expectations. We run ourselves ragged trying to please everyone, all the time. We lose sleep ruminating about whether we may have offended someone, pass up opportunities that take us out of our comfort zones, and avoid rejection at all costs. There's a reason we act this way, Reshma says. As girls, we were taught to play it safe. Well-meaning parents and teachers praised us for being quiet and polite, urged us to be careful so we didn't get hurt, and steered us to activities at which we could shine. The problem is that perfect girls grow up to be women who are afraid to fail. It's time to stop letting our fears drown out our dreams and narrow our world, along with our chance at happiness. By choosing bravery over perfection, we can find the power to claim our voice, to leave behind what makes us unhappy, and go for the things we genuinely, passionately want. Perfection may set us on a path that feels safe, but bravery leads us to the one we're authentically meant to follow. In Brave, Not Perfect, Reshma shares powerful insights and practices to help us override our perfect girl training and make bravery a lifelong habit. By being brave, not perfect, we can all become the authors of our biggest, boldest, and most joyful life.


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In a book inspired by her popular TED talk, New York Times bestselling author Reshma Saujani empowers women and girls to embrace imperfection and bravery. Imagine if you lived without the fear of not being good enough. If you didn't care how your life looked on Instagram, or worry about what total strangers thought of you. Imagine if you could let go of the guilt, and stop In a book inspired by her popular TED talk, New York Times bestselling author Reshma Saujani empowers women and girls to embrace imperfection and bravery. Imagine if you lived without the fear of not being good enough. If you didn't care how your life looked on Instagram, or worry about what total strangers thought of you. Imagine if you could let go of the guilt, and stop beating yourself up for tiny mistakes. What if, in every decision you faced, you took the bolder path? Too many of us feel crushed under the weight of our own expectations. We run ourselves ragged trying to please everyone, all the time. We lose sleep ruminating about whether we may have offended someone, pass up opportunities that take us out of our comfort zones, and avoid rejection at all costs. There's a reason we act this way, Reshma says. As girls, we were taught to play it safe. Well-meaning parents and teachers praised us for being quiet and polite, urged us to be careful so we didn't get hurt, and steered us to activities at which we could shine. The problem is that perfect girls grow up to be women who are afraid to fail. It's time to stop letting our fears drown out our dreams and narrow our world, along with our chance at happiness. By choosing bravery over perfection, we can find the power to claim our voice, to leave behind what makes us unhappy, and go for the things we genuinely, passionately want. Perfection may set us on a path that feels safe, but bravery leads us to the one we're authentically meant to follow. In Brave, Not Perfect, Reshma shares powerful insights and practices to help us override our perfect girl training and make bravery a lifelong habit. By being brave, not perfect, we can all become the authors of our biggest, boldest, and most joyful life.

30 review for Brave, Not Perfect: Fear Less, Fail More, and Live Bolder

  1. 5 out of 5

    Netta

    Perfect for a TED talk and just a tad bit repetitive and go-get-it-ish for a book. Having read this book, though, I realised how lucky I am because I've never been told that I ought to be perfect (or ought to be something other than just happy and content, for that matter) or, that being a girl, I'm a less something. I grew up in the family where women would have none of this “softer gender” thing (my great-grandmother travelled across the country during the WW2 on her own with six little childre Perfect for a TED talk and just a tad bit repetitive and go-get-it-ish for a book. Having read this book, though, I realised how lucky I am because I've never been told that I ought to be perfect (or ought to be something other than just happy and content, for that matter) or, that being a girl, I'm a less something. I grew up in the family where women would have none of this “softer gender” thing (my great-grandmother travelled across the country during the WW2 on her own with six little children), and men - my Dad and my Grandpa - lauded the brilliance, kindness, generosity and, yes, bravery of the women they love. In fact, my Grandpa, one of the smartest men I know, my constant interlocutor and opponent, encouraged me not to use "but-I-am-a-girl" as an excuse to not understand or not know something. When I was at school and couldn't figure out how to deal with a difficult math homework, he tried to explain me things that I found too complicated to grasp. Refusing to make an effort, I asked him to just tell me what the answer was, "because I'm a girl", I added. "So what?" he said. In this regard Brave, Not Perfect is an eye-opening book for me as what I've been taking for granted my entire life turned out to be a privilege. And yet, I, too, don't often feel brave enough, and I'm definitely prone to either having a perfect result or not doing anything at all. I asked myself, why. And I daresay it's because things are a bit more complicated in real life than they are in a TED talk or a How-To book. I don't like eerie boy-girl binary opposition that Reshma Saujani used in this book. She states, for example, that women don’t go for what they want unless they’re sure that they’re 100% qualified, while for men 60% of confidence is enough. She says that boys are encouraged to be brave, while girls are encouraged to be likable. It's the truth, of course. But is it the whole truth? I know boys who are as striving to be nice and perfect as much as girls from Saujani examples. I know men who were taught to play it safe and don't even dare to try something bold. I know women who don't give a damn what others would think and go for things they want in what should be called "a man's fashion". As much as I liked this book (because it resonated with me, despite the fact that I cannot relate to the reasons and explanations Saujani gives), I would love it to be more about a person (male or female) striving to meet some illusive expectations rather than just girls overcoming the issues of a boy-girl framed mindset, just because this way the book might have been helpful for many more people.

  2. 4 out of 5

    MANVI NARANG

    "No more silencing or holding ourselves back or teaching our daughters to do the same it's time to stop this paradigm in its tracks." Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani is one of the gem of the books I've come across in my lifetime. This is an authentic take against gender discrimination and sexism which is deftly baked in our culture. It is a powerful insight which redefines bravery and makes us follow our true dreams! This amazing read written by Reshma Saujani is is divided into three parts. "No more silencing or holding ourselves back or teaching our daughters to do the same it's time to stop this paradigm in its tracks." Brave, Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani is one of the gem of the books I've come across in my lifetime. This is an authentic take against gender discrimination and sexism which is deftly baked in our culture. It is a powerful insight which redefines bravery and makes us follow our true dreams! This amazing read written by Reshma Saujani is is divided into three parts. Part 1 highlights how perfection is ingrained in a culture and how this cult is making the lives of young girls difficult everywhere. Part 2 redefines bravery it makes us rethink what actually is perfection! Part 3 talks about the ways we can genuinely accept our flaws and flubs and provides us with methods to lead a bold and joyful life. It frees women from the moratorium place on them in which to "be liked or be damned to hell" is the lesson taught everyday and it destigmatize this "all-or-nothing" game of perfection. Amazingly written with various examples and contemporary references, this book will make you learn that "setbacks will not destroy, they will set you free." It definitely helps girls and women of all ages to throw out the "elusive carrot of perfection" they are made to chew everyday. When I finally turned the last page of the book it left me with a sense of hope and accomplishment. It made me feel complete in a certain way which is the best possible thing a book can gift you! My Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟.5/ 5 Thankyou @harpercollinsin for sending across this amazing book!

  3. 4 out of 5

    Kristie

    This book has something to offer women that struggle with trying to be perfect, saying no, and reaching for their goals. Unfortunately, I do think that many women fall into at least one of these categories. Many don't value themselves enough and are afraid of being judged harshly, embarrassed, or failing. Those are the women that this book attempts to reach. I thought it was a decent book for someone that is looking for some support in moving forward out of this type of life cycle. Unfortunately This book has something to offer women that struggle with trying to be perfect, saying no, and reaching for their goals. Unfortunately, I do think that many women fall into at least one of these categories. Many don't value themselves enough and are afraid of being judged harshly, embarrassed, or failing. Those are the women that this book attempts to reach. I thought it was a decent book for someone that is looking for some support in moving forward out of this type of life cycle. Unfortunately, I did not find anything new in the book. Of course, my education is in mental health, so I may be more experienced in this area than some, but I also think that a lot of this just comes with time and life experience. Therefor, I also think it may be more useful to someone that is younger. The last part of the book offers some helpful suggestions to people trying to break these habits, however some of it may be easier said than done and women should be aware that it will take not just bravery, but motivation and repetition of effort to effect the type of changes suggested. I did have one issue with the book and that is that the author involves politics on several occasions. At times I could see how it applied to what she was trying to say, but other times she just added it in because it is an interest of hers. I feel that this might alienate women that have a different political view than she does. I would suggest that there are plenty of women with opposing political views that the author might be able to help who would be turned off by the political aspect. In addition, I found the book to be a bit too repetitive for my taste and took longer to finish than it should have. I didn't think it was a bad book, but I didn't find it particularly interesting either. However, if the subject interests you, go ahead and give it a try. You may love it. Thank you to NetGalley and Crown Publishing for providing me with a free electronic copy in exchange for an honest review.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Naomi

    I have to say this book really irked me. The premise of this book is fantastic (in theory). The author's writing and layout...horrible. Like most Liberal female non-fiction writers, the author writes women as victims. The author omitted several facts regarding women leaders, entrepreneurs and even employees moving up the corporate ladder and/or starting their own business, which is supported by studies. The author also omitted the statistics of the rise of women as head of household or MBAs. This I have to say this book really irked me. The premise of this book is fantastic (in theory). The author's writing and layout...horrible. Like most Liberal female non-fiction writers, the author writes women as victims. The author omitted several facts regarding women leaders, entrepreneurs and even employees moving up the corporate ladder and/or starting their own business, which is supported by studies. The author also omitted the statistics of the rise of women as head of household or MBAs. This author had an important book to write. She had a book to write that applauded the work we have done that also addressed work that needed to be done. As a STRONG Libertarian woman, I believe that we encourage others by a hand up. While I think this was the author's premise, she failed in delivery. My general perception walking away from this book was it was a disappointing Ted Talk that I would have rolled my eyes at while I was walking out of it. Unfortunately for me, I signed up to review it, so I was in it for the long haul. Did I skim a majority of it? Yes, I did, but it was necessary because the book irked me to no end.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Kim

    I think I would've gotten a lot more out of this if I fit Saujani's definition of a perfectionist—fixed mindset, constantly worried what others think of me, a Type-A Hermione Granger. As more of a Faramir (blessed with an awesome father instead of Denethor), I didn't quite reap the full Brave, Not Perfect experience of empowerment. Which is not to say I didn't benefit from the read. Having Saujani's concepts and assertions to push my own experiences against allowed me to more closely define how m I think I would've gotten a lot more out of this if I fit Saujani's definition of a perfectionist—fixed mindset, constantly worried what others think of me, a Type-A Hermione Granger. As more of a Faramir (blessed with an awesome father instead of Denethor), I didn't quite reap the full Brave, Not Perfect experience of empowerment. Which is not to say I didn't benefit from the read. Having Saujani's concepts and assertions to push my own experiences against allowed me to more closely define how my own drive toward perfection behaves in my life. And reading what motivates her and other Hermione Granger perfectionists to push themselves toward bravery (regret, jealousy, competitiveness) offered me the opportunity to realize that my motivations will have to be something else entirely. Even looking at some of her strategies to cultivate a bravery mindset affirmed that the ways I've worked to enlarge my life since adolescence are solid, beneficial approaches. But this was definitely more a case of Learn How Different You Are than Learn How You Too Can Change Your Life! I'm an enneagram 4, so you'd think I'd be rolling in that special snowflake-ness like a cat in catnip, but...honestly...I could really use some help with the type of perfectionism I do experience. It didn't help that a lot of Saujani's statements about the source of perfectionism in women, women's right to claim their truth, and how her readers, too, can achieve greatness through bravery were very black and white and riddled with logical holes and inconsistencies. Instead of focusing on what she was advocating, I kept getting snarled in what wasn't being said. (Or cited in the Notes.) I mean, sure, maybe we should rethink how we raise our girls, but do we really think raising them like our boys is the solution? Doesn't the way we raise our boys cause problems of its own? And, yes! Claim your truth, ladies! ...But don't think that your truth gives you the right to stop hearing others' truths, too. And it's fantastic that so many women have found that bravery has led them to creating amazing non-profits and opening new chapters of success...but isn't that still focusing on the end goal instead of the process of being brave? I think Brave, Not Perfect will leave many, many readers with an awakening sense of their own power and a roadmap for fully inhabiting their own lives, but for those of us outside Saujani's template—or those less moved by the pathos of her encouragement—there's a lot less here. I will certainly take the insights I've gained and see whether I can turn them into weapons in the neverending battle against my own perfectionist demons, and there are a few strategies I can put into immediate action (Take On a Physical Challenge; Trust Yourself; Review, Reassess, Realign), but the hunt for advice that speaks to my Faramir-type perfectionist continues....

  6. 4 out of 5

    Agnes Roantree

    This started out as an empathetic and serious talk between close friends and plunged into a clichéd ad post on insta from someone trying to profit off feminism because it sells. I feel like if this book was shorter it would've been different. This started out as an empathetic and serious talk between close friends and plunged into a clichéd ad post on insta from someone trying to profit off feminism because it sells. I feel like if this book was shorter it would've been different.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Reading_ Tam_ Ishly

    🍂2020 Spring Tbr Cleaning 🍂 Don't want to read it. 🍂2020 Spring Tbr Cleaning 🍂 Don't want to read it.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Kelly

    Reread for work -- I'd recommended it as a company read and indeed, I still really like it. Could all of it come from her TED talk? Sure, but she keeps the book short, tight, and written in a really actionable way. It's a nice reminder of the power of bravery and failure in a world that demands perfection from women. --- An outstanding personal development/self-help/growth book about the ways men and women are cued to behave differently. Women, so frequently, are encouraged to be perfect and when Reread for work -- I'd recommended it as a company read and indeed, I still really like it. Could all of it come from her TED talk? Sure, but she keeps the book short, tight, and written in a really actionable way. It's a nice reminder of the power of bravery and failure in a world that demands perfection from women. --- An outstanding personal development/self-help/growth book about the ways men and women are cued to behave differently. Women, so frequently, are encouraged to be perfect and when something can't be done in such a way, they shouldn't bother trying. That leads, then, to not trying new things or developing their bravery muscle. Saujani offers up some of the ways that bravery can be practiced and integrated and how to break away from those preconceived ideas of perfection. Short, succinct, and doesn't feel like a book made from a TED Talk. It offers actionable steps, powerful insights, and tons of science/social science research. The voice is excellent and encouraging. It was a reminder to not shut up in instances where speaking up or out would be of tremendous value. Perfect for those who love DROP THE BALL or who are tired of cis white dudes leading the ~disruption~ in personal development. Saujani is a woman of color, and her background is tremendously necessary in this space. More to be said on the "All The Books" podcast!

  9. 4 out of 5

    Tara Weiss

    Good have been a blog post or a meme... didn't need a whole book. Good have been a blog post or a meme... didn't need a whole book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Lorilin

    Reshma Saujani is the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code. I wasn’t familiar with her, her organization, or her apparently uber-popular TED talk. Saujani is an interesting woman. I respect her willingness to be honest in this book, especially about her own (pretty big) failures. And I admire anyone who can pick herself up after a major defeat and find a way to move forward and rise above. Her message is simple but powerful. Women are under an enormous amount of pressure to act and be perfect—physica Reshma Saujani is the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code. I wasn’t familiar with her, her organization, or her apparently uber-popular TED talk. Saujani is an interesting woman. I respect her willingness to be honest in this book, especially about her own (pretty big) failures. And I admire anyone who can pick herself up after a major defeat and find a way to move forward and rise above. Her message is simple but powerful. Women are under an enormous amount of pressure to act and be perfect—physically, emotionally, socially, and the list goes on. These expectations are ingrained in girls from birth, and most never fully feel free of them. There were many parts of this book that resonated strongly with me: "The desire to be perfect holds us back in so many ways. We don’t speak up for ourselves, as we know deep down we should, because we don’t want to be seen as pushy, bitchy, or just straight-up unlikeable. When we do speak up, many of us agonize and overthink how to express ourselves, trying to hit just the right note of assertiveness without seeming too “bossy” or aggressive. We obsessively analyze, consider, discuss, and weigh every angle before making a decision, no matter how small. And if we do, heaven forbid, make a mistake, we feel as though our world is falling apart." Wow. Yeah. Exactly. #preach While Parts 1 and 2 did start getting repetitive and probably could have been condensed, I still liked her practical advice in Part 3. Some of my favorite tips: *** Ask for feedback. Listen and accept it. *** Allow yourself to experience rejection. *** Sleep. *** Do the exact thing that scares you most. *** Practice a small act of bravery every single day. *** Recognize that your feelings of fear are false alarms about 99% of the time. *** Intentionally practice imperfection. Start small so you can tolerate the stress of it. *** Don’t waste time focusing on why someone doesn’t like you. Acknowledge that some people will get you and some people won’t—and allow yourself to be okay with that. Overall, I appreciate the message of Brave, Not Perfect. It’s affirming to hear someone acknowledge the weighty expectation of perfection and then show realistic, doable ways to move beyond it. There’s probably about a pamphlet’s-worth of valuable information in here, but I’m still glad I read the whole book. I will definitely be talking about this with my kids—both daughters AND sons. Big thank you to Currency and Amazon Vine for the ARC! See more of my reviews at www.bugbugbooks.com!

  11. 5 out of 5

    Amanda (Books, Life and Everything Nice)

    Thank you to NetGalley, Currency, and Reshma Saujani for an ARC ebook copy to review. As always, an honest review from me. Like: - A self help business book for woman without being overly technical or dry - She launched Girls Who Code and ran for political office - Gives a voice to all the things that so many women experience Love: - Incredibly relatable - That bravery is a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger your bravery muscle will be - The author’s voice/writing style: professional, authori Thank you to NetGalley, Currency, and Reshma Saujani for an ARC ebook copy to review. As always, an honest review from me. Like: - A self help business book for woman without being overly technical or dry - She launched Girls Who Code and ran for political office - Gives a voice to all the things that so many women experience Love: - Incredibly relatable - That bravery is a muscle: the more you use it, the stronger your bravery muscle will be - The author’s voice/writing style: professional, authoritative, but relatable and kind - The message that its okay to not be liked, because those just aren’t your people - The quote “In a world full of princesses, dare to be a hot dog.” Dislike: — Wish that: - There were a few more practical examples of how to be brave on a day to day basis - The book was longer! Overall, a very powerful, relatable book that every woman needs to read. Even if you think you’re brave, I think you will find many elements of value in here. A book I’m going to be referencing again and again.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Asma

    Not that great read but it holds interesting ideas!! I didn't liked or accepted all concepts in this book but they intrigued me! Why do women tend to overthink things! Why do they tend to think about others and their feelings more than themselves!! Why do they think more about hurting other's feelings than being honest and being forward!! Is it truly how girls are raised or is it just biology!! Women need to be brave and move forward, raise their voices and their opinions, support other women and Not that great read but it holds interesting ideas!! I didn't liked or accepted all concepts in this book but they intrigued me! Why do women tend to overthink things! Why do they tend to think about others and their feelings more than themselves!! Why do they think more about hurting other's feelings than being honest and being forward!! Is it truly how girls are raised or is it just biology!! Women need to be brave and move forward, raise their voices and their opinions, support other women and fight the war!

  13. 5 out of 5

    Maria

    I really loved a lot about this book. What I really disliked was the extremely heavy bend on liberal idealization. The author uses her personal political heroes to deliver the message but leaves no room for the reader to disagree with her political views and enjoy the core of what she is trying to communicate.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Anne-Marie

    I really, really appreciated this book. It’s a great summary of a lot of gender and social research around women (in the workplace, at home, and in general) as well as a gentle kick in the pants to enact change in your life. As someone who often aims for perfection, who sometimes has a hard time balancing her life, difficulty saying no (or saying yes because I’m scared to do whatever it is), among a myriad other things referenced in the text at some point in my life, I found this book valuable. I really, really appreciated this book. It’s a great summary of a lot of gender and social research around women (in the workplace, at home, and in general) as well as a gentle kick in the pants to enact change in your life. As someone who often aims for perfection, who sometimes has a hard time balancing her life, difficulty saying no (or saying yes because I’m scared to do whatever it is), among a myriad other things referenced in the text at some point in my life, I found this book valuable. Is it at times obvious? Sure. Is it the first time some of these strategies have been presented to the public? No. Is it still what I needed to read and a resource I will go back to again and again? Yes. Is it written in an engaging, intelligent and straightforward manner, like someone you respect is having a coffee discussion with you? Also yes. Ultimately what makes a book like this successful for a reader is if they actually implement strategies and change their mindset. And I’m confident I will do so (the number of sticky tabs and notes to myself will back that up). I recommend for anyone (woman, man, teen, non-binary, other) who feels that they could be braver, that they should be able to aim for excellence without crippling themselves over unattainable perfection, and for those who just want a reminder that failure is okay. Also Girls Who Code (the organization the author founded) is definitely something I wish existed when I was a kid!!

  15. 5 out of 5

    Donna

    I didn't know who Reshma was before reading this. I wasn't sure I'd like her within the first 10 pages, but I loved her honesty, passion and commitment to living her best brave life. But what I loved the most is that she was not only a strong woman, but she supported all other women. She doesn't feel the need to put others down (mainly women) to elevate herself. So I applaud that tenfold. I also liked the research she used on how different little girls are treated than little boys. This is one o I didn't know who Reshma was before reading this. I wasn't sure I'd like her within the first 10 pages, but I loved her honesty, passion and commitment to living her best brave life. But what I loved the most is that she was not only a strong woman, but she supported all other women. She doesn't feel the need to put others down (mainly women) to elevate herself. So I applaud that tenfold. I also liked the research she used on how different little girls are treated than little boys. This is one of those books that made me think....lots of food for thought here. I would have liked this more if I had been younger, but where I am at in my life, I'm pretty secure and have raised my girls to be the same way. But even with that said, I think my girls could benefit from the messages that this author speaks about with such a drive. I loved the be brave message. So 4 stars.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Shari Nagy

    All the stars for this inspirational book! I related to everything in this story, from learning to be polite and too kind, from a young age, to saying sorry when I know I shouldn’t. This is a fantastic book to give you tips on how to become the brave person you know you can be! A big portion of this book is accepting failure and growing from it. This is something I need to work on everyday. The author gives great personal advice on how she overcame failure (she lost a big political race) and how All the stars for this inspirational book! I related to everything in this story, from learning to be polite and too kind, from a young age, to saying sorry when I know I shouldn’t. This is a fantastic book to give you tips on how to become the brave person you know you can be! A big portion of this book is accepting failure and growing from it. This is something I need to work on everyday. The author gives great personal advice on how she overcame failure (she lost a big political race) and how we can as well. A must-read in my opinion! Enjoy!

  17. 5 out of 5

    MundiNova

    "I'd rather be caught trying than not at all." Yes, I'm this book's demographic: A women working in tech who doubts herself constantly. Self-help business books are hit or miss. But after reading Brave, Not Perfect I'm now realizing why they're hit or miss: Ask yourself, "Am I this book's demographic?" If the answer is no, then the book will be a miss. Just because you're working in the corporate world, doesn't mean every pseudo-psychology/business book is meant for you. Some are written specially "I'd rather be caught trying than not at all." Yes, I'm this book's demographic: A women working in tech who doubts herself constantly. Self-help business books are hit or miss. But after reading Brave, Not Perfect I'm now realizing why they're hit or miss: Ask yourself, "Am I this book's demographic?" If the answer is no, then the book will be a miss. Just because you're working in the corporate world, doesn't mean every pseudo-psychology/business book is meant for you. Some are written specially for C-suite or VPs who have the flexibility to make large scale choices. But Brave, Not Perfect was written for me. If you're wondering if it's written for you, ask yourself if any of the following applies: 1) You spend too much time reading, rewriting, and rereading an email before you send it because one small grammar or spelling mistake would plague you for the rest of the day. Or worse, make your colleagues think you're an idiot. 2) You didn't apply for the job you wanted because you didn't meet 100% of the requirements and don't already know how to perform it perfectly. Because taking the time to learn the job could waste your employer's time, and you'd hate to do that. 3) You sacrifice your time to please someone else, to make them like you more, even if you really don't want to do it. 4) You have a safety net in place that allows you to take chances. That last one is key. This book is not for the working single mom, living paycheck to paycheck just to put food on the table, who can't afford to take risks with her or her family's lives. There's a certain level of privilege this book caters to. That's not necessarily a bad thing. Multi-millionaires need financial advisers, that doesn't mean being a financial adviser is an evil profession and shouldn't exist. This book is very much needed for the sad demographic of ~20% women in tech. As I was reading this book (which took only a day because I couldn't put it down), all the women in my life that I love and want to see succeed would bubble up in my head. In one section, I thought, "This is what A needs to read!" In another section, "I need to tell B to do this!" So yeah, ya'll been warned. I'm going to tell you fine ladies to read this book. Theme: 5 stars Writing: 4 stars

  18. 4 out of 5

    Sarah DiMento

    This book was written by the founder of the non-profit Girls Who Code. Girls Who Code is an organization that aims at closing the gender gap in computer science job industry by piquing girls' interest in computer science at a young age and building the confidence, sisterhood, etc to pursue the career later. As a facilitator/ teacher of a Girls Who Code after school club, I'm a huge fan of the organization so I was definitely interested in reading Reshma's book. I listened to this on audio (narrat This book was written by the founder of the non-profit Girls Who Code. Girls Who Code is an organization that aims at closing the gender gap in computer science job industry by piquing girls' interest in computer science at a young age and building the confidence, sisterhood, etc to pursue the career later. As a facilitator/ teacher of a Girls Who Code after school club, I'm a huge fan of the organization so I was definitely interested in reading Reshma's book. I listened to this on audio (narrated by Reshma herself) on my commute to work so I zoned in and out tbh. The theme is that boys are taught to be brave and adventurous from a young age, while girls are taught to be perfect and pleasing. This inhibits women later in life when they're afraid to be ambitious, speak up, try something new that they might not be good at, take risks. This isn't really a new notion... but it was interesting to hear it backed up by studies, etc. For example, there was a study done where they give kids lemonade that tasted awful on purpose (used salt instead of sugar). When the boys drank, they immediately spit it out and said "ew!" But the girls drank it and pretended to like it. When the girls were later asked why they pretended to like it... they said they were afraid of hurting someone's feelings. In the end I'm left feeling like I don't know what the answer is. This is what society teaches our girls. When I was in high school I was assigned to write a 5 page paper defining a word. Any word I wanted, it was like a creative writing assignment? I chose "perfection" and perfectionism has haunted me ever since. It has plagued me and stifled me and made me afraid. Regardless, I appreciate Reshma's book raising awareness and her non-profit encouraging girls to be brave and pioneer their way into the tech industry <3

  19. 4 out of 5

    Melissa Hiltbrand

    While I appreciate the basic premise of this book and feel like it is a critically important message for women everywhere, I’m not interested in listening to an endless rant of an agenda nor am I impressed by the amount of foul language used by the author. If you’re an educated woman, surely you can choose more intelligent language to spread your message.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Jennifer

    It was a little too liberal feminist for me. Way more f words than I wanted (especially in a self help book). I didn’t finish it feeling inspired or feeling like I had been given tools to change. I will stick with Brene Brown for my “bravery” boost. I think they are both arguing for the same thing, Brene just says it in a way that connects with me better.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Susan Norkus

    This book was fine for about the first 1/3-1/2, after that the author continued to interject politics. I stopped reading about 1/2 way through because it became more of a political statement than a book about bravery. I'm disappointed and wouldn't recommend it. This book was fine for about the first 1/3-1/2, after that the author continued to interject politics. I stopped reading about 1/2 way through because it became more of a political statement than a book about bravery. I'm disappointed and wouldn't recommend it.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Yasmin

    The author repeated herself a million times and I felt like I was reading the same page all over again. Her entire point could have been explained in way less than 200 pages.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Heart1lly

    More like a 3.5. Let me just start by saying I really respect Girls Who Code. I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a woman (34), but if I had a Girls Who Code program in my school things might have gone a bit differently for me. Reshma illuminates a lot of problems girls face and have faced in our society growing up. The information and anecdotal evidence wasn't new to me, it was everything I've heard before and then some, before I've lived through the circumstances she admonishes throughout Brave, Not Pe More like a 3.5. Let me just start by saying I really respect Girls Who Code. I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a woman (34), but if I had a Girls Who Code program in my school things might have gone a bit differently for me. Reshma illuminates a lot of problems girls face and have faced in our society growing up. The information and anecdotal evidence wasn't new to me, it was everything I've heard before and then some, before I've lived through the circumstances she admonishes throughout Brave, Not Perfect. I have well-meaning parents, but I sometimes wonder what would have happened in my life had they not cringed every time I was interested in something that involved math. "That has math in it, you can't do that." I was interested in science once upon a time, but...because it had math in it, something I didn't do well in, I was discouraged from even trying. When I picked up an astronomy class in university my parents scoffed at me because they just ~knew~ I would fail and end up dropping out. So, when I DID end up dropping out I felt like I was just proving them correctly that I was a screw-up and couldn't learn math or do anything involving math. I'm actually feeling angry as I type this review. Teachers have told me that they were frustrated with me because I wasn't getting it, or learning the math and ugh. Just ugh. Everyone around me actively discouraged me as a child from really going after my dreams and it's not just me this happens to. It happens to countless girls in school. So, if you have a young daughter, reading this book might be a good idea. If you're already a fan of Reshma's, then none of this information is going to be new to you. All in all I thought this was a pretty okay read, though I don't think I was truly the demographic. I'd say this book is way more helpful if you're a young woman just starting out in the world or the parent of a young woman. Sadly, I feel like the advice is lost on me only because I've already learned the lessons within the book and I feel like I could tell other young women the same stuff Reshma espoused. It's also a very quick read. I got through it in a day when I really sat down to listen. The audiobook is narrated by the author, and the performance is pretty good though there are some weird pauses here and there. It's a bit "rah rah, you can do it, get it girl!" but I think it's perfect for a young woman who might be struggling and I know we all know or knew young women who were struggling because of the weird-ass nature of how society treats those of us who aren't dudes.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Michael

    Having multiple daughters, this book really peaked my interest. I listened to the audiobook while I was running and at times was fairly frustrated with the book. At the same time, I had to think about what was really bothering me, was it the topic? Was it the author's political view vs mine? Was it because I was thinking from a male perspective? Within my family, there is a lot of perfectionism happening. A lot of that comes from me and my spouse having that as a personality trait. To see it comi Having multiple daughters, this book really peaked my interest. I listened to the audiobook while I was running and at times was fairly frustrated with the book. At the same time, I had to think about what was really bothering me, was it the topic? Was it the author's political view vs mine? Was it because I was thinking from a male perspective? Within my family, there is a lot of perfectionism happening. A lot of that comes from me and my spouse having that as a personality trait. To see it coming into play as our children are growing, there was much of this book that rang true for them and from a parent's perspective. It surely made me think about how I talk to my daughters versus my son and youth in general for that matter. It is amazing how certain roles and expectations have been ingrained in our heads for so long. I plan on thinking about how I speak to youth from now on and asking myself before I say anything if this is forcing a young lady to be perfect when I wouldn't expect the same from a young man. And vice versa for that matter!

  25. 4 out of 5

    Tasha

    I'm not often a fan of this genre of book. However, I feel that this is the perfect time for this book to come out. It adds to the impact of many of the female-oriented movements that are taking place right now and expands on some of the less seen and often misunderstood aspects of being female. Well written and easy to understand I believe this book is a great read for any woman, girl, or person who has either in their life. It is great for us to understand that while every female does not feel I'm not often a fan of this genre of book. However, I feel that this is the perfect time for this book to come out. It adds to the impact of many of the female-oriented movements that are taking place right now and expands on some of the less seen and often misunderstood aspects of being female. Well written and easy to understand I believe this book is a great read for any woman, girl, or person who has either in their life. It is great for us to understand that while every female does not feel the pressure to be perfect there is at least one scenario in this book that I think everyone can relate to- regardless of their gender. I recommend this book to most everyone. I enjoyed this book and many of the tips and scenarios involved in it. I was initially drawn in by Reshma's TED talk and this book seemed to expand on the points made in the talk which I was a huge fan of.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Lauren

    I really loved this book and the author's story. As a former competitive gymnast who sole purpose for 15 years was to chase perfection, letting go of that has been difficult as an adult. I found Reshma's story refreshing and inspiring and thought the tips in the back were quite helpful. My favorite part of this book was the way she approached it and the variety of examples and stories she used. This is a book for everyone - business women, moms, students etc. I really loved this book and the author's story. As a former competitive gymnast who sole purpose for 15 years was to chase perfection, letting go of that has been difficult as an adult. I found Reshma's story refreshing and inspiring and thought the tips in the back were quite helpful. My favorite part of this book was the way she approached it and the variety of examples and stories she used. This is a book for everyone - business women, moms, students etc.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Libby Cotten

    I want every woman in my life to read this book. Period. We all need a reminder that the expectations we have for ourselves are usually so far from reality or what others expect of us that it makes us exhausted, depressed {choose your own ailment}. Instead of perfection, let’s all strive to be brave in a world where we’ve been taught from the beginning that we must not only succeed but also be perfect without so much as a smudge in our makeup.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Vanessa

    There are a lot of great takeaways from this book. The main one, something I can't get enough reminders for, is to doubt yourself less. It was a comfortable read that backs up anecdotes with research. Although I could have done without some of the celebrity name dropping, it doesn't detract from the message. There are a lot of great takeaways from this book. The main one, something I can't get enough reminders for, is to doubt yourself less. It was a comfortable read that backs up anecdotes with research. Although I could have done without some of the celebrity name dropping, it doesn't detract from the message.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Nikki Robbins

    I think Saujani has a very compelling message and mission and I highly respect what she’s doing for girls and our culture. This book just seems to be written for someone who has never thought about being brave or being their own person before and it doesn’t offer a lot of depth. I’d recommend this more to younger teenage girls.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Betina

    Beginning has some interesting research into gendered upbringing, and the end has some interesting ideas about how to make bravery a daily practice. The middle gets lost in selling bravery as a concept and even takes some irrelevant (although accurate) shots at the current government. I liked it, but it could have been half as long.

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