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How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

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30 review for How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday

  1. 4 out of 5

    Oana M.

    While the first part is really funny, the book quickly loses its charm and becomes yet another one of those "too short not to finish yet annoying enough not to keep on reading" books.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Sarah Adamson

    Where does one start to review this hilarious and amazing parenting book? It literally teaches you how to save your child from the most heinous of animal attacks or trips in Deloreans. It has proof of its usefulness with graphs and charts. It makes you cry. It makes you laugh out loud so hard you wake up your sleeping husband! It makes your child want to read it too! Another awesome adventure in mishaps and how to survive them and not feel like the worst parent ever from the most magnificent parent Where does one start to review this hilarious and amazing parenting book? It literally teaches you how to save your child from the most heinous of animal attacks or trips in Deloreans. It has proof of its usefulness with graphs and charts. It makes you cry. It makes you laugh out loud so hard you wake up your sleeping husband! It makes your child want to read it too! Another awesome adventure in mishaps and how to survive them and not feel like the worst parent ever from the most magnificent parent James, keeping four kids and some pigs alive despite the odds!

  3. 4 out of 5

    Josh

    Possibly the most important parenting book ever written.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Mary

    I have been enjoying the book. It is a fun read, that I read in bed at the end of my day.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Tania

    James Breakwell has a brand of humor that I can relate to. He sprinkles situations that are so outrageous you can imagine they are true with just the right amount of sarcasm to make you wonder whether he's making fun of you for believing that the impossible is possible or whether he's trying to hide his terror that an alien attack is indeed just around the corner. His recent humorous guide to parenting is worth reading for many reasons, whether or not you have children of your own, but if you ar James Breakwell has a brand of humor that I can relate to. He sprinkles situations that are so outrageous you can imagine they are true with just the right amount of sarcasm to make you wonder whether he's making fun of you for believing that the impossible is possible or whether he's trying to hide his terror that an alien attack is indeed just around the corner. His recent humorous guide to parenting is worth reading for many reasons, whether or not you have children of your own, but if you are a parent or spend any time caring for other people's children then you will enjoy these hypothetical scenarios and their imaginative resolutions even more. For example, what do you do about the monsters under the bed, and how is that different from how you address monsters in the closet? How dangerous is a vampire attack, and how will you ward them off (or at least redirect them to another household)? And seriously, if you and your child were transported into the pages of your (or their) favorite book, how would you survive the perils that authors have been entertaining us with for years? Children attract danger. It's a well-known fact that people pretend is not true. Even when they aren't attracting danger, they are doing things that make you shake your head and wonder what little voice is speaking inside THEIR head right in that instance to make them do something that makes no sense at all. And then, amidst the chaos, they spout some unexpected wisdom, which makes you wonder if they actually know the power of being the one to create the chaos, and are employing that power with more craft and skill than any adult can ever manage. And then, they are back to facing random danger leaving you to wonder if you imagined it all. That is exactly the maddening circle of reality surrounding children that James Breakwell describes in his book, "How to Save Your Child from Ostrich Attacks, Accidental Time Travel, and Anything Else that Might Happen on an Average Tuesday." The title might seem a bit much, but after you face facts and realize just how much danger lies in wait for your unsuspecting (or possibly suspecting) children, you'll admit it's just the right amount of title to go with this important guide to keeping kids alive. I find anecdotal evidence that I'm not the only person who wonders whether ghosts, vampires, and witch hunters really exist comforting. Beyond that, I'm relieved that I'm not the only person in the world who finds it necessary to map out escape plans for situations that will probably never ever happen to me or anyone I know. "How to Save..." outlines many more imaginary escape plans that I have had time to think of on my own, and I'm grateful for this time-saving measure. I found other ways to relate to the author as well, for example he mentions that he's the only child he knows who accidentally burned himself running into the grill in the backyard. I felt that way about myself, having had a similar accident as a child - no matter how stupid a memory we have from our childhood, we're not alone. He also brought back fond childhood memories of trends that no longer make any sense, such as describing doorways within the house that used strings of beads instead of doors. I had almost forgotten this charming feature, but my Grandma definitely did this at one point. Breakwell entertains, and while the majority of adults will consider the scenarios in this book too outlandish to ever actually happen, he also teaches us how to apply logical thinking to illogical situations. This is an important life skill. When you pepper such advice and the requisite anecdotes with dry humor and add really cute cartoon segments, graphs, charts, and meeples, the result is a book that will definitely make you laugh and could (or not) save someone's life. Remember, that life you save could be your child's, or it could just be an imaginary life you save in your mind to keep your hero syndrome alive. That is the beauty of James Breakwell.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Rachel Noel

    I'm a big fan of Breakwell's books. I've been pre-ordering them with the confidence that they'll be laugh out loud funny and well worth the cost.That being said, this one felt "just okay". It was still funny, no question of that. I'm still glad I bought it and I know people who would enjoy it. The book has all the classic elements that make a Breakwell book fun. You've got the clipart comics emphasizing the points he's making in the text. You've got the ridiculous graphs showing your chances of I'm a big fan of Breakwell's books. I've been pre-ordering them with the confidence that they'll be laugh out loud funny and well worth the cost.That being said, this one felt "just okay". It was still funny, no question of that. I'm still glad I bought it and I know people who would enjoy it. The book has all the classic elements that make a Breakwell book fun. You've got the clipart comics emphasizing the points he's making in the text. You've got the ridiculous graphs showing your chances of survival in ridiculous situations. The book is even dedicated to cheese! Who doesn't love that? It really isn't until the second half of the book, when situations start getting more and more ridiculous, that things really lose their charm. Like, how to survive if you and your child are suddenly in the world of Carrie or The Shawshank Redemption or the original Donkey Kong video game. It can't be that the more unrealistic stuff is less funny; the chapter on time travel was good. I guess, maybe, it feels like the later chapters were more just filling up the page counts. It's still an entertaining book, the latter half of it just feels lacking. I'm still glad I bought the book and will continue to by Breakwell's books. But this one is definitely not his best work. 3.5 hoots!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Shannon Matheny

    Absolutely one of the most hilarious books I’ve ever read!!! I was one of the lucky winners of a Goodreads giveaway, and I entered strictly based off the title and quick blurb alone. I am so glad I did. I brought the book to work with me (third shifter here), and am guilty of laugh out loud, raucousy moments causing me to read passages to my co-workers and have them join in. I loved the little comics and graphs sprinkled throughout the book! And, as the title promises, it definitely teaches you Absolutely one of the most hilarious books I’ve ever read!!! I was one of the lucky winners of a Goodreads giveaway, and I entered strictly based off the title and quick blurb alone. I am so glad I did. I brought the book to work with me (third shifter here), and am guilty of laugh out loud, raucousy moments causing me to read passages to my co-workers and have them join in. I loved the little comics and graphs sprinkled throughout the book! And, as the title promises, it definitely teaches you how to save the wee ones from an ostrich attack!! And aliens, and Donkey Kong, and should you find yourself in Willy Wonka’s Factory or The Crucible. It even uses a pie chart illustrate the benefits of not reading to our spawn versus reading to them!! I love how Breakwell tells us to simply “keep in mind all of this advice is based on carefully researched scientific data” made up off the top of his head. Hysterical!! Highly recommend this. It made me seek out his previous book and put it on my TBR. I won this in a Goodreads giveaway, and this review is my honest opinion.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Sam

    This was a weird, very funny "parenting" book. Breakwell has a specific type of humor that was perfect for my husband and I. I was constantly reading things out loud to him, because I knew he would appreciate the humor just as much as I was. The second half is pretty heavy on pop culture humor so if you've never seen certain movies or tv shows, read specific books, or know much about video games, you might not get much out of these sections. For me, personally, it was a nice, light read to throw This was a weird, very funny "parenting" book. Breakwell has a specific type of humor that was perfect for my husband and I. I was constantly reading things out loud to him, because I knew he would appreciate the humor just as much as I was. The second half is pretty heavy on pop culture humor so if you've never seen certain movies or tv shows, read specific books, or know much about video games, you might not get much out of these sections. For me, personally, it was a nice, light read to throw in with heavier books.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Amy Broome

    Received as a Goodreads giveaway. I’ve never read anything from this author before. I chuckled aloud reading the first few chapters. As I kept reading though, it became a bit formulaic. Writing bit, graph bit, cartoon bit. Rinse. Repeat. I don’t know if this is standard for the writer, but I did find it easier to put the book down and find other pastimes as I reached the midpoint. Would be a good book to pick up to read in intervals, but not really cover to cover in a single sitting.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Cassandra

    This would’ve made a fantastic blog post. Or better yet, a great tweet. The fact that it was a book… And an audiobook at that… Made it far too long. I purposely listen to it at 2X speed just so that I could get through it faster because I didn’t want to not finish it. I did chuckle a couple times… But at the expense of a few of my brain cells. 🤦🏼‍♀️

  11. 4 out of 5

    Lauren Bourke

    I'm a parent, so this book is funny because despite the far out situations he is describing, I can see my children doing it. If you're not a parent, I can't promise that you will relate to it let alone find it funny, but it might reaffirm your decision to not have children. Truth is always stranger than fiction and when children are involved it is even more so.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Sonya Loyer

    I won a published paperback through a Goodreads Giveaway. It is a very funny, quick read. There are tables, graphs and comic strips. This is a laugh-out-loud funny book! Chapter 1 is how to survive anything and a graph shows that you can become literally immortal by reading all the chapters in this book. Chapter 2 covers wild animals. Here is my favorite part about geese (which are covered after butterflies): "After creating the earth and everything on it, God rested. During that nap, Satan snuc I won a published paperback through a Goodreads Giveaway. It is a very funny, quick read. There are tables, graphs and comic strips. This is a laugh-out-loud funny book! Chapter 1 is how to survive anything and a graph shows that you can become literally immortal by reading all the chapters in this book. Chapter 2 covers wild animals. Here is my favorite part about geese (which are covered after butterflies): "After creating the earth and everything on it, God rested. During that nap, Satan snuck in and created geese." Other chapters include: Supernatural Beings, People, Accidental Time Travel, Sci-Fi Situations, Classical Literature and more. I wish I could find the line about Anakin Skywalker and higher ground. We riff on that all the time as a family! If you enjoy sarcastic, absurdist humor, this book is for you! If you find yourself wondering how to survive completely normal situations, this book is for you!

  13. 4 out of 5

    Darlene

    I received this book from Goodreads for review and all thoughts and opinions are my own. This is a truly funny book about parenting and children. Laugh out loud funny and quirky. No crude humor or off-topic jokes was necessary to make you giggle and snort coffee out your nose. Lol! Thoroughly escapism at its best. Or lock yourself in a closet, whatever works for you.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Rosie

    Goodreads winner. "How to Save Your Child from....." Is full of ridiculous situations and not so plausible survival techniques. In order to feel the humor you must suspend all sense of reality. "Laughter is the Best Medicine".

  15. 5 out of 5

    Adam

    This book was hilarious. I laughed out loud, snickered, and had to put my coffee down while listening in fear I would spit it out on my computer. I plan to buy the author's other books as well. Highly recommended!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Susan

    It's entertaining but, as you progress through the book, you find it's all basically the same. According to the author, he's written several books in this genre and while he jokes about being pigeonholed, it does seem a bit like he's bored of it.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Jena Best

    Parts of this were really funny and he's great on Twitter. But.... A whole book is a bit much. Overall just kind of "meh" for me.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Book Smeller Jessica Prien

    Funny and out of this world

  19. 5 out of 5

    Suzi

    Refreshing!

  20. 5 out of 5

    Barb Crowe

    I love James Breakwell's books. I won this book from the Goodreads contest.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Csimplot Simplot

    Excellent book!!!

  22. 4 out of 5

    Jenny

    James Breakwell is hilarious in a single sentence, but absolutely unbearable by the bottom of a page. Did not finish.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Cat Perham

    No spoilers! This book is great fun; every parent should read it if you can find the time. I will seek out Breakwell's previous book.

  24. 5 out of 5

    K Whatsherface

    This was a fun nonfiction book. Yes, what can be classified asnonfiction is interesting. Short, entertaining. If you likes his other books, you'll probably like this one.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Kathy

    Quick, humorous read in the style of Dave Barry.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Mallory

    This is probably the best book there is to tell you how to raise your kids. I will be passing this book down to my kids.

  27. 5 out of 5

    Kristin Troska

    Light and funny. Easy to read.

  28. 4 out of 5

    DeAnne

    Laugh out loud funny, with scientifically accurate charts and graphs.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Eric Westrope

    Fantastic! Excellent! Funny! Everything you need to know to help keep your family safe is in this book. Maybe. You decide.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Elizabeth

    Another hilarious read!

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