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Horror, Humor, and Heroes

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Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, a zombie runni Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, a zombie running for congress, a vampire trying to get his life insurance company to pay up, a six year old girl, who makes a cookie people will do anything for, the story of the first child born on the Moon, or a draftee in a war against science gone awry. This collection includes the novella, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. It is one of my favorite endeavors and anyone who has ever cracked open a comic book will appreciate this story about a down on his luck bad guy forced into the reluctant role of world savior. Also inside is a preview of my forthcoming series Battle Maidens.


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Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, a zombie runni Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, a zombie running for congress, a vampire trying to get his life insurance company to pay up, a six year old girl, who makes a cookie people will do anything for, the story of the first child born on the Moon, or a draftee in a war against science gone awry. This collection includes the novella, Confessions of a D-List Supervillain. It is one of my favorite endeavors and anyone who has ever cracked open a comic book will appreciate this story about a down on his luck bad guy forced into the reluctant role of world savior. Also inside is a preview of my forthcoming series Battle Maidens.

57 review for Horror, Humor, and Heroes

  1. 4 out of 5

    Susan

    This short story collection is full of werewolves, zombies, Greek idols, giant bugs, and the first kid born on the moon. With plenty of twisted humor. Oh yes. If the average puns and jokes that populate SFF literature merely get a weak grin out of you, then perhaps you need some deeper, darker humor? It can be found here. This collection contains 11 or 12 short stories plus the first 5 chapters of Confessions of a D-List Supervillain and the first few chapters of Prime Suspects. So it’s a great This short story collection is full of werewolves, zombies, Greek idols, giant bugs, and the first kid born on the moon. With plenty of twisted humor. Oh yes. If the average puns and jokes that populate SFF literature merely get a weak grin out of you, then perhaps you need some deeper, darker humor? It can be found here. This collection contains 11 or 12 short stories plus the first 5 chapters of Confessions of a D-List Supervillain and the first few chapters of Prime Suspects. So it’s a great way to see if this author is for you. And it is thoroughly entertaining. While I won’t go through each and every short story, I will share my thoughts on my favorites. Raw and Reel – David is a TV producer, and he is filming a questionable show in Mexico. It’s a werewolf hunt. Yeah, werewolves turn up here and there and as long as they cage themselves during the full moon and don’t make a ruckus, no one much cares. But once one goes wild and crazy, then they have to be put down. Well, this particular werewolf may or may not have done the deed, but it looks like he will have to pay the price. And what of David and his sleazy soul? Well, there’s a surprise waiting for him. I liked the twisted nature of this tale from start to finish. My Son, The Monster – Daedalus and his son Icarus have been imprisoned by Minos. Daedalus is quite the inventor and manages to fashion a way to escape. As the narrative moves forward through the escape scenes, we also get small flashes of Icarus’s past, and it is not pretty. I liked this story for it’s new spin on an old, old tale. The ending was bitter and just. Charlie Horse – Oh my! Now this was such an excellent story. I am hard pressed to say which is my favorite of the lot, but this might be it. I am not much of zombie person, but this was awesome. Ted and his band, including the new kid Chuck, round up zombies. Yep. They have a few runners to entice the zombies out and get them to congregate in one location, and a nice big tank or caravan or such for holding them while they are transported to market. Most are sold to the zombie-powered turbines, generating green energy. A good zombie can walk in a circle for a few years before giving out, all the time pushing on a spinner connected to a turbine. Nice. I actually laughed out loud at the idea, thoroughly liking the take on zombies as something useful. Of course the stronger and faster ones can end up doing other things, like at the race tracks…….I’ll just let your twisted little minds chew on that. Reality Bites – Life insurance and vampires. You’ve been declared legally dead, zero heartbeat for the past week, but you can’t claim your life insurance benefits because you’re still ambulatory. Nor can you claim any government paycheck or social security. Sucks. Literally, for you are a vampire. well, Mr. Merril is anyway. As he tries first logic, then pleading, and finally the vampire thrall seduction stare on Fundamental Insurance worker Cheryl, his sad little tale unfolds. But Cheryl is an old hand at the insurance company, and has a few surprises of her own. Yep, it’s a messed up situation captured here for my amusement. Adventurers Beware – This is one of the stories that vies for my favorite of the litter. You’ve got your adventurers, Lord Byron, Lady Anise, Ragnor, and Nimblefingers. They adventure, whether the locals need some adventurers to swoop in and save them or not. Duncan runs the inn and he and the senior business women and men gather about. How to get rid of Lord Byron and his crew? Mulling it over a nice local beer, they come up with a plan. Adventurers love maps. Listening to this story made me think of my man’s D&D games, and of course the numerous hours I’ve logged playing one dungeon crawl PC game or another. very funny. The View From My Room - Adam was the first person born on the moon. His parents emigrated there perhaps 20 years ago and now Adam is a teen. He is prepping for his first trip the Earth to see his grandparents in person. Wearing a weighted full-body suit daily for several hours to build his muscles and bone density, he contemplates what it will be like to leave the moon. A crowd on the sparsely populated moon is perhaps 20 people. On Earth, the crowds will be unlike anything he has ever experienced. This was probably the only story in the lot that didn’t ride on twisted or dark humor. It was simply cute watching this teenager prep for his first big trip. Lieutenant Armchair – So here is the 3rd of my favorites. It’s nitty gritty and dark. Some biological agent escaped the labs a few years back and now Kansas is no more. Large, aggressive bugs (just one result of the agent) cause grief and consternation as they spread and make places uninhabitable to humans. Along the TX-OK border, Chris Gibson and his band of merry bug whackers have been sent out to take out a bee hive. But it’s dirty, dangerous business and their armchair lieutenant, who is safely tucked away back at headquarters, is barking orders that make no sense and may get one of them killed. Later, back at base, Gibson gets to unwind with a beer and gives his shoulder to teary Kelly, who had a bad day. There’s a lovely twist to this story, but I don’t want to ruin it. This book also includes the first 5 chapters of Confessions of a D-List Supervillain, and it works quite well as a short story, or short novella. Mechani-Cal (Cal, for short) is a guy who has been screwed over one too many times. And now is looks like the world will be screwed over by mind-controlling bugs. Luckily, he has been able to lock himself up in his battlesuit and avoid being taken over. Unfortunately, it looks like the superheroes known as the the Olympians have been brainwashed. Battling a few of them, he manages to stun Aphrodite (aka Stacey), whose bug falls off. taking her back to his secret lair, she threatens all sorts of death and anatomical contortions upon him if he doesn’t release her. She needs her bug; it’s an addiction. And it goes from there. And it is pretty cool. Cal has issues, Stacey has issues. But somehow, someway (twisted and full of U-turns) they find a way to work together. I definitely need to read the full-length version. The Narration: Jeffrey Kafer was once again an excellent narrator. I loved variety of voices he pulled off, from young Adam to battle-scarred Gibson. He even had a variety of female voices for this collection that were believable and not strained. Perfect pick for this book. For more, check out Dab of Darkness: http://dabofdarkness.com/2013/12/26/h...

  2. 5 out of 5

    Lukas Lovas

    I'm not a fan of short stories, as I usually need a bit of time to aclimate to the world in order to enjoy it. That said, these were quite imaginative and I enjoyed the zombie ones especially despite being a bit sick of the zombie genre.... "vote for braaaaaains!" :D I'm not a fan of short stories, as I usually need a bit of time to aclimate to the world in order to enjoy it. That said, these were quite imaginative and I enjoyed the zombie ones especially despite being a bit sick of the zombie genre.... "vote for braaaaaains!" :D

  3. 4 out of 5

    Jon

    An excellent collection of short stories by an eclectic writer with a superb imagination. A great way to get to know a great author!

  4. 5 out of 5

    Karissa

    I got this book from the author directly in exchange for an honest review :-) This is a great collection of stories that vary widely but focus on mainly urban fantasy and sci-fi stories with a touch of humor. Story length varies from very short (a couple pages) to novella size (a 70 page novella). There are thirteen stories in this book, along with a preview of Bernheimer's new book "Battle Maidens". As I said the stories vary widely, most of them were really well done. "Confessions of a 'D-List' I got this book from the author directly in exchange for an honest review :-) This is a great collection of stories that vary widely but focus on mainly urban fantasy and sci-fi stories with a touch of humor. Story length varies from very short (a couple pages) to novella size (a 70 page novella). There are thirteen stories in this book, along with a preview of Bernheimer's new book "Battle Maidens". As I said the stories vary widely, most of them were really well done. "Confessions of a 'D-List' Supervillain" was the novella and was great; it is about a low rank supervillian who has to save the world from mind altering bugs who are trying to take over the world. I also liked "Cookie?" in which a toddler teams up with a supernatural force to make cookies in her Easy Bake oven that people will do anything for. Then there was "Reality Bites!" in which a vampire tries to take on an insurance company to get his death benefit, which was also good. I enjoyed "Lieutenant Armchair"; in which we get to watch soldiers struggle in an America filled with animals of more than gigantic proportions. "Charlie Horse" was another enjoyable story that dealt with zombies being used as a power source, I loved the irony in this one. Really almost every story in this book was interesting. The only one I thought was a bit weak was the first story "The Wolf's Cry" which had some awkward sounding dialogue. Bernheimer did a great job changing the tone of his writing to match the wide variety of characters in his stories. The writing was easy to read and really propelled the reader forward; in most of the stories the dialogue was witty and funny. Bernheimer writes especially good action scenes and does a good job of taking a creative idea and making it into a great short story. Most of the humor was of the ironic kind or slightly dark; I enjoyed it a lot. There are some really short stories in here, only a couple pages long. I am always interested in these types of stories because short stories are hard to write and make complete. Bernheimer did an excellent job of putting a lot into these short stories, they are very well put together, the writing is concise and no space is wasted. I was impressed with how much story he conveyed in such a small amount of space. In general I really enjoyed this collection of stories and was glad I read it. I also have Bernheimer's book "Pennies for the Ferryman" which I plan on reading shortly and I am looking forward to reading it. If you are a fan of urban fantasy, humorous sci-fi, fantasy, superheroes, short stories, zombies or just speculative fiction in general, I would pick up this book. It is a fun read and there are a lot of creative stories in here. I look forward to reading more of Bernheimer's work in the future.

  5. 4 out of 5

    T. Bakutis

    This anthology was an enjoyable collection of sci-fi and fantasy stories that vary from quick snippets (essentially, flash fiction) to more developed tales. There's a good mix of humor and action, and there's no true theme here - it's an eclectic mix. There's something for everyone. If I were to complain about anything, I would say that the writing felt a bit uneven at times - some stories felt more "polished" than others. However, while every story didn't blow me away, there were a good number This anthology was an enjoyable collection of sci-fi and fantasy stories that vary from quick snippets (essentially, flash fiction) to more developed tales. There's a good mix of humor and action, and there's no true theme here - it's an eclectic mix. There's something for everyone. If I were to complain about anything, I would say that the writing felt a bit uneven at times - some stories felt more "polished" than others. However, while every story didn't blow me away, there were a good number I really enjoyed. As a whole, this is a solid book and a fun read. Favorites: The View from My Room This was my favorite story of the bunch, and I found myself grinning when I read the ending. I wasn't expecting a small yet touching story like this one, and I was surprised by how much I liked it. Without spoiling anything, there's a small plot point midway through that initially seems like a throwaway, then ends up nicely completing the story. The protagonist is easy to sympathize with, and he feels real. The dilemmas and issues he grapples with during the story all make a great deal of sense. This is near future sci-fi done well. Confessions of a D-List Supervillian This story was a fun twist on the standard world of superheros/supervillians. The characters range from obvious references to the Marvel/DC stable to more humorous types that would fit right into an episode of The Tick. It's a fun story that incorporates humor as needed while still packing plenty of action, and presents an interesting challenge for the "hero". While this is the longest story in the anthology, the length felt about right - it moved at a good pace and had a satisfying conclusion. Adventurers Beware! I got to hear Jim read this at Ravencon, and it stands up as one of the funniest stories in the book, even if you've never played a game of D&D. The way it subverts the ideas that come standard with heroes or adventuring parties is clever, and it's fun watching the locals throw together a plan to deal with their unwelcome guests.

  6. 4 out of 5

    J. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I've really enjoyed the majority of these stories. One of the tales is a snippet from Confessions of a D-List Supervillain, which is a great book. The reminder made me want to read it again. There was one story, one story, that pissed me off. Zombies had apparently been reintegrated into society and according to the story "the right" wanted to give them rights and make them equal. Seriously? Seriously? The left wants to give everyone on earth equal rights to America as if that was a supportable i I've really enjoyed the majority of these stories. One of the tales is a snippet from Confessions of a D-List Supervillain, which is a great book. The reminder made me want to read it again. There was one story, one story, that pissed me off. Zombies had apparently been reintegrated into society and according to the story "the right" wanted to give them rights and make them equal. Seriously? Seriously? The left wants to give everyone on earth equal rights to America as if that was a supportable idea, but it would be the right giving rights to zombies? Jeez, do liberals even listen to themselves? Aside from that rant, I really enjoy Bernheimer's writing. I absolutely can't wait for the prequels and sequels to D-List Supervillain.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Colin Craib

    Usually when I read short stories I either don't think it's worth my time or I think it was too short and should have been expanded more when I finish. Surprisingly,this group was neither. Instead it was a group of stories that was freshly innovative and were concise without missing anything. I'm very impressed by it and would highly recommend this to anyone that wants a fun read that isn't novel length. Usually when I read short stories I either don't think it's worth my time or I think it was too short and should have been expanded more when I finish. Surprisingly,this group was neither. Instead it was a group of stories that was freshly innovative and were concise without missing anything. I'm very impressed by it and would highly recommend this to anyone that wants a fun read that isn't novel length.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Darin

    I liked most of the stories. The only real issue I have with the book is that two of the stories, comprising 83 of 185 pages, were later turned into their own books. Therefore, if you buy those books then nearly half of this book you didn't need. I liked most of the stories. The only real issue I have with the book is that two of the stories, comprising 83 of 185 pages, were later turned into their own books. Therefore, if you buy those books then nearly half of this book you didn't need.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Phil Taylor

    A bunch of fun stories. I finished most wishing they had been made into full length novels. A great mix of sci-fi with humor.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Elodin

  11. 5 out of 5

    Brant Helvenston

  12. 5 out of 5

    Henrik Rostoft

  13. 5 out of 5

    Kyle Smith

  14. 4 out of 5

    Torr

  15. 5 out of 5

    Michelle La

  16. 5 out of 5

    C Patrick Daily

  17. 5 out of 5

    Karthik

  18. 5 out of 5

    John Winburne

  19. 5 out of 5

    Swapna

  20. 4 out of 5

    Jürgen Van Holder

  21. 5 out of 5

    josh Pipkin

  22. 5 out of 5

    Chuma

  23. 5 out of 5

    Amy

  24. 5 out of 5

    Joshuah Kusnerz

  25. 4 out of 5

    Joshua Hair

  26. 5 out of 5

    Riley Nelson

  27. 4 out of 5

    Greg Carter

  28. 5 out of 5

    Warrick

  29. 5 out of 5

    Craig

  30. 4 out of 5

    Amy

  31. 4 out of 5

    Hermina Oláh Vass

  32. 4 out of 5

    Terry

  33. 5 out of 5

    Glenn

  34. 5 out of 5

    Mark Cicero

  35. 4 out of 5

    Logan Blackisle

  36. 4 out of 5

    Alex Lyman

  37. 4 out of 5

    Dan

  38. 4 out of 5

    Barb Crooks

  39. 5 out of 5

    Arjan Waardenburg

  40. 5 out of 5

    Patrick J Dalton

  41. 5 out of 5

    JMorrisson

  42. 4 out of 5

    Joe

  43. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer Lamattina

  44. 4 out of 5

    Chris

  45. 5 out of 5

    Dakin

  46. 4 out of 5

    Sparethebs

  47. 4 out of 5

    Steve

  48. 4 out of 5

    Benny

  49. 5 out of 5

    Nothing

  50. 5 out of 5

    Kris Korpenfelt

  51. 4 out of 5

    Erick M

  52. 5 out of 5

    Ryan Hirasuna

  53. 4 out of 5

    Michael

  54. 5 out of 5

    Konica

  55. 5 out of 5

    Dharm Kapadia

  56. 4 out of 5

    Mary Lou Klingensmith

  57. 5 out of 5

    Lance Browne

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