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Parenting a House United: Changing children’s hearts and behaviors by teaching self-government

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Parenting A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government. This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier. Even if families simply implement some of Nicholeen’s tested parenting princ Parenting A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government. This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier. Even if families simply implement some of Nicholeen’s tested parenting principles their family life will improve. Nicholeen’s candid story telling style and experience with tough teens makes the book usable and a joy for all to read. Even if you have heard Nicholeen speak before you can’t pass this book up. It promises new stories, examples, valuable question and answer and further insights never before shared. It is sure to be a valuable family handbook.


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Parenting A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government. This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier. Even if families simply implement some of Nicholeen’s tested parenting princ Parenting A House United is based on Nicholeen’s popular seminar series Teaching Self-Government. This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier. Even if families simply implement some of Nicholeen’s tested parenting principles their family life will improve. Nicholeen’s candid story telling style and experience with tough teens makes the book usable and a joy for all to read. Even if you have heard Nicholeen speak before you can’t pass this book up. It promises new stories, examples, valuable question and answer and further insights never before shared. It is sure to be a valuable family handbook.

30 review for Parenting a House United: Changing children’s hearts and behaviors by teaching self-government

  1. 5 out of 5

    Beth

    My visiting teacher suggested this book after a conversation about some parenting challenges I was having. There were some really good thoughts here! This was one of the most logical, practical books on parenting I've read. Here are a few points that really resonated with me: * We are teaching kids to master themselves: their actions, their thoughts. We don't want them to be good out of convenience for us as parents but so they can be functioning, happy adults in society! * "Janet's Junk Food Prin My visiting teacher suggested this book after a conversation about some parenting challenges I was having. There were some really good thoughts here! This was one of the most logical, practical books on parenting I've read. Here are a few points that really resonated with me: * We are teaching kids to master themselves: their actions, their thoughts. We don't want them to be good out of convenience for us as parents but so they can be functioning, happy adults in society! * "Janet's Junk Food Principle:" the things kids whine about the most is what they need the least. I've noticed this with my own kids: when they whine about not getting enough time for computer, video games, or friends, it's usually because they've had too much and don't know how to stop. * "Home should be the safest environment to make mistakes." * Some advice is just plain bad advice, and we don't have to listen to it. I could have used this little pep talk eight and a half years ago! All those silly baby magazines had me convinced I was "doing it wrong." * It's important to schedule in fun! The anticipation of a family activity is just as important as the activity itself. * "What are we really communicating?" If we are frustrated all the time, complaining about how hard it is to be a mother, will our children want to become parents when they are older? When we yell at our kids, can we really expect them to be calm when life gets stressful for them? (I read the part about yelling on Sunday morning ... and then promptly proceeded to yell at my kids for being late to church. Obviously reading a parenting book isn't enough to magically transform your parenting! The good news is that when we finally did get to church, I was reminded that I can repent and try again!!) :-) I think this is one of the biggest lessons from this book: if I am going to teach my kids to be calm and problem-solve, I, as a parent, need to be calm in my interactions with my kids and model the behavior I want them to have. * It's important to prep your kids for situations before they happen; before going to a grocery store with the kids in tow, for instance, give clear expectations of store behavior (and consequences for following or not following that behavior) before you go in. I've had lots of success with "prepping" when I remember to do it (before taking family pictures, for instance). I liked the suggestion on prepping even for small things. * We need to have low tolerances. Honestly, this kind of went against my natural inclinations at first, but after thinking about it (and discussing it with my friend), it makes sense. If I am "tolerant" of the kids leaving out all their stuff, I end up picking up more after them. I try to do it in the name of patience and longsuffering but usually that doesn't work and I get a little resentful. It doesn't help them (they don't learn to clean up after themselves), nor does it help me (I get grumpier and grumpier until I finally snap at somebody, and they don't even understand why, so the cycle repeats itself). I've tried having a low tolerance on the pick-up-after-yourself-rule lately, and it actually feels much healthier, even though I might look like a nag! The thing is, my kids don't seem to think I am nagging; they honestly seem to appreciate the reminders and the clear expectations. * Negative consequences don't necessarily have to be "logical." I know there's a paradigm that believes in "appropriate consequences" for things children do (sort of the "you made the mess you clean it up" mentality, I guess), and I'm all for that for the most part. But sometimes coming up with a consequence takes a lot more creativity than I have. The author suggests letting natural consequences do the teaching when it makes sense, but if not, there are only another three or four consequences to earn (though the severity of each consequence differs based on the infraction). The consequences are always the same and the kids know what to expect. She also points out that kids don't have to *suffer* through their consequences in order to learn something; we are not trying to *punish* but to teach. Good point. So, after all that -- why only three stars? Well, the grammarian in me had a terrible, terrible time with this book. I guess it was self-published, but it really could have used a proofreader to fix the many comma errors, spelling errors, and punctuation errors. By the end of the book there were multiple typos on every page and, frankly, it drove me crazy. But I realize I am really uptight about that kind of thing, so maybe I could have overlooked all that ... were it not for the fact that this book was so darn long. I certainly understand the impulse to overexplain when writing (as is somewhat obvious based on the length of this review, haha), but seriously -- almost 400 pages?? I was only halfway through the book when I almost put it down just because I felt really overwhelmed by it all (so it was good that I could talk to my visiting teacher again and have her help me put it in perspective). Still, this is a good resource, even if the execution is a little off. I admire the author and all she's done to help families. If you're needing some ideas on how to handle this parenting gig, this is a good book to look through.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Flint Stephens

    Since publishing my book on parenting early this year, I’ve researched the writings of numerous authors who have dealt with the same subject. The two major parenting approaches I read tend to focus on religion or psychology. While both are valid, they often lack practicality. As a result, I was pleased to discover the work of Nicholeen Peck, who provides a wealth of practical advice and clearly explains how to apply it in specific situations. Parenting: A House United is a book I wish had been ava Since publishing my book on parenting early this year, I’ve researched the writings of numerous authors who have dealt with the same subject. The two major parenting approaches I read tend to focus on religion or psychology. While both are valid, they often lack practicality. As a result, I was pleased to discover the work of Nicholeen Peck, who provides a wealth of practical advice and clearly explains how to apply it in specific situations. Parenting: A House United is a book I wish had been available to me before I started raising my family. Many parents today are concerned about the mentality of entitlement that seems pervasive among today’s youths. I know that the principles and methods outlined in Nicholeen’s book would be effective in dealing with attitudes of entitlement as well as many other parenting challenges. Entitlement is a global problem that affects children that are raised without much responsibility. It is not necessarily specific to children raised in wealth and privilege. Nicholeen her husband, Spencer, got a chance to demonstrate their parenting abilities on a BBC television show called “The World’s Strictest Parents.” They hosted two teens from England in their home. Several clips from the show are posted at http://teachingselfgovernment.com/. They are worth watching. Parents often worry about adopting new standards and new parenting methods with older children. There is a fear that establishing and enforcing rules will cause older children to rebel. The experiences the Pecks had with these two teens and with many foster children they have brought into their home shows that although some children might rebel, most will adapt and accept structure that is consistently applied. Clear rules and values make life easier for parents and children. This is a point that comes through repeatedly in Parenting: A House United. “Raising children into adults that know how to govern themselves requires vision. Every member of the family needs to clearly see a family goal or vision in order to work together, and for the communication system to work.” Many parents have a family vision but they fail to properly communicate that vision to their children. Often they don’t know how to begin or to follow through. Nicholeen’s book would be a great resource for parents in such a state. In truth, the type of parenting described in Parenting: A House United is not easy. Trying to apply everything at once could leave some readers feeling overwhelmed and intimidated. But like every journey, parenting begins with a few steps. And this book can serve as a map to help struggling parents know how to reach the final destination. My graduate studies on communication focused on theory. We studied the work of behavioral psychologists who did early research on how people communicate. A few years later, my wife was working on a graduate degree in education. As I helped her study, I discovered that educational theory incorporated the work of many of the same researchers I studied for my degree. Although education applied different labels and a different vocabulary, the underlying theoretical foundation for communication and education were the same. That is how I felt when I read Nicholeen’s book. We might describe things differently and we might take different approaches to get to a destination, but the underlying foundations of how we view parenting are much the same.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Jaime

    I am having a really hard time rating this book. I disagree with the author on a few really fundamental and foundational issues, so most of the book really goes off rails for me for that reason. However, this book did reinforce the idea that my husband and I need to set up a somewhat formal system of "government" for our family and that my children need predictable and consistent consequences for specific behaviors, as a rule. So, for that reason I cannot disregard it completely as one that was I am having a really hard time rating this book. I disagree with the author on a few really fundamental and foundational issues, so most of the book really goes off rails for me for that reason. However, this book did reinforce the idea that my husband and I need to set up a somewhat formal system of "government" for our family and that my children need predictable and consistent consequences for specific behaviors, as a rule. So, for that reason I cannot disregard it completely as one that was completely unhelpful. However, as my faith and theology inform the parenting and discipleship decisions I make for my children in ways totally contrary to some of the basic assumptions in this book, I cannot recommend it.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Nicholeen

    Well, I wrote this, so it's not fair to really review it I suppose. I will say that this book is not just mine. I wrote it for someone much greater than myself. It is my hope that it will bring happiness to homes and inspire a vision of a new way to interact as families. Times are hard everywhere. There is no more important time to strengthen homes and families than now. That is the purpose of this book. I hope you enjoy it. :)To order this book go to http://teachingselfgovernment.com Well, I wrote this, so it's not fair to really review it I suppose. I will say that this book is not just mine. I wrote it for someone much greater than myself. It is my hope that it will bring happiness to homes and inspire a vision of a new way to interact as families. Times are hard everywhere. There is no more important time to strengthen homes and families than now. That is the purpose of this book. I hope you enjoy it. :)To order this book go to http://teachingselfgovernment.com

  5. 5 out of 5

    Kathryn

    This book is bit wordy and has more than a few missing or superfluous commas, but my family has already seen many positive results from following the principles and methods it outlines. One of my children, in particular, has been difficult to parent (to say the least), and for the first time in a while, I have hope.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Amy

    I know this has been pointed out OVER and over again..but for my own reference: The editing is HORRIBLE in this book. (the author has addressed the issue- I hope they are able to reprint with new edits and clean the book up a bit.) The content is WONDERFUL. Wonderful enough that I am willing to still give the book 5 stars because it outshines the poor editing. This is changing the way our family interacts with each other. Our family meetings are becoming SO effective and I am constantly amazed at I know this has been pointed out OVER and over again..but for my own reference: The editing is HORRIBLE in this book. (the author has addressed the issue- I hope they are able to reprint with new edits and clean the book up a bit.) The content is WONDERFUL. Wonderful enough that I am willing to still give the book 5 stars because it outshines the poor editing. This is changing the way our family interacts with each other. Our family meetings are becoming SO effective and I am constantly amazed at how well my youngins respond to this tecnique. I was just positive they were too young, but I was wrong! Love the BBC special World's Strictest Parents, too! You can find the episode featuring their family, as well as many helpful videos and a blog on Nicholeen's site. I hope I can become as calm and "self-governing" as Nicholeen!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Laurie

    This book was highly recommended, but I was still a bit skeptical, as I always am with self-help type books. So what a pleasant surprise to find some powerful principles of truth! These ideas of parenting and family communication are based on compassion, respect and empathy. Most importantly, this book focuses on how parents MUST GOVERN THEMSELVES to allow their children to learn from them. This is an area in which I struggle, so I feel relieved and hopeful to have a pattern to follow. There are This book was highly recommended, but I was still a bit skeptical, as I always am with self-help type books. So what a pleasant surprise to find some powerful principles of truth! These ideas of parenting and family communication are based on compassion, respect and empathy. Most importantly, this book focuses on how parents MUST GOVERN THEMSELVES to allow their children to learn from them. This is an area in which I struggle, so I feel relieved and hopeful to have a pattern to follow. There are some things I tweak for my kids and our situation, but mostly I do it by the book. I just have to say, however, how disappointed I was to have to struggle through the typos, bad grammar, and lack of punctuation. Hopefully, this author will make so much money with this book that she will be able to afford editors for a new edition. :)

  8. 5 out of 5

    Sara

    This book had some great parenting ideas. I loved the way that Nicholeen describes having a family vision, motto, and a set of rules. They use a family government system that I'm sure works when organized properly. The only problem with this book is Nicholeen seems to have a huge amount of patience, and I'm not sure I could live up to her high standards of consistency and calmness. This book had some great parenting ideas. I loved the way that Nicholeen describes having a family vision, motto, and a set of rules. They use a family government system that I'm sure works when organized properly. The only problem with this book is Nicholeen seems to have a huge amount of patience, and I'm not sure I could live up to her high standards of consistency and calmness.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Emilee

    This is the best parenting book I have ever read, and I have read many. The author breaks everything down to very simple steps that can be repeated for most behaviors, making it a universal method for not only fixing behaviors but changing hearts. A driving philosophy of the book is that your main goal as a parent is to help children understand cause and effect so that they can learn to control their impulses and gain self-mastery, or self-government. We have only been implementing the tools fro This is the best parenting book I have ever read, and I have read many. The author breaks everything down to very simple steps that can be repeated for most behaviors, making it a universal method for not only fixing behaviors but changing hearts. A driving philosophy of the book is that your main goal as a parent is to help children understand cause and effect so that they can learn to control their impulses and gain self-mastery, or self-government. We have only been implementing the tools from this book for a few days, but it has absolutely changed our family. We giving out consequences as often as before, but my husband and I are totally calm because we know exactly what to do when faced with poor behavior. Our family had become very strained because nothing we did seemed to work, so with each misbehavior we became more frustrated and likely to fly off the handle. My relationship with my 4 year old especially was extremely stressed and not close. After (imperfectly) following the principles in this book for 3 days, my daughter and I experienced more closeness, connection, and affection than we have in a long time. This is despite the fact that she has been continuously misbehaving, receiving consequences, and even had a few tantrums. The true power of this book is that it gives you real tools for staying calm and in control as a parent, and the language you learn to use coupled with your own calmness and self-assured behavior almost magically help your children calm themselves too. I would absolutely recommend this book to every parent. My only caveat is that this is my second time reading it, and the first time through my daughter was a little too young for it to be as effective as it is now. The only reason I'm not giving 5 stars is because there are several grammatical errors and the author has a tendency to repeat certain words or phrases excessively in a short passage, but these are really just editorial issues. The content of the book itself is 5 stars or more.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Tanya Wadley

    Okay, I'm not done yet, but this is an amazing parenting book and maybe the last I'll ever read. I would (and probably will) recommend this to friends because it's that good... and I rarely make book recommendations. I can see that it is already helping my family as we are in some bad habits that can make life unpleasant. I wish I had discovered this 8 years ago, but maybe I wouldn't have been ready for it. The principles are good for families that don't need a lot of help, but just a little impr Okay, I'm not done yet, but this is an amazing parenting book and maybe the last I'll ever read. I would (and probably will) recommend this to friends because it's that good... and I rarely make book recommendations. I can see that it is already helping my family as we are in some bad habits that can make life unpleasant. I wish I had discovered this 8 years ago, but maybe I wouldn't have been ready for it. The principles are good for families that don't need a lot of help, but just a little improving. They are fabulous for families in some level of crisis... kids out of control make life hard to bear. I have been so inspired by this book. Personal Notes: When a child is out of control, a help is SODAS... a way for them to think through their behavior... a writing exercise (or thinking exercise if they are younger and unable to write). SODAS= Situation, Options, Diasadvantages, Advantages, Solution Example... Child hits and yells at his little brother who grabbed her pen at church.... now she needs to do SODAS... Situation: I'm minding my own business and drawing pictures when my little brother comes along and grabs my pen. Options: 1. Hit and yell (advantages: immediate revenge?; disadvantages: I get in trouble, I embarrass my family, I hurt my brother) 2. Ignore him (advantages: I am in control of myself; disadvantages: I don't get my pen back) 3. Ask nicely for the pen (advantages: I get my pen back, I am in control of myself; disadvantages: none) You get the picture... great thinking tool with a time cost that might make a child think twice before making bad decisions!

  11. 4 out of 5

    Deann

    While there was some good that I took away from this book (the 4 basic skills), a lot of it was very basic. Such as more positive comments (praise, compliments) than negative, family and couple meetings, natural consequences, helping a child understand "you chose" when they disobey, etc. My reason for 2 stars is: 1) Some of the methods seemed harsh. Throughout the book the author reminds that the methods described come from classes for foster parents. That often means troubled teens and children While there was some good that I took away from this book (the 4 basic skills), a lot of it was very basic. Such as more positive comments (praise, compliments) than negative, family and couple meetings, natural consequences, helping a child understand "you chose" when they disobey, etc. My reason for 2 stars is: 1) Some of the methods seemed harsh. Throughout the book the author reminds that the methods described come from classes for foster parents. That often means troubled teens and children who likely never had structure. The methods probably work great for these children, but for a typical family who already has some guidelines and structure in place it's over the top. I also disagree with the author's suggestion that we never mirror a child's emotions. Many children (young and old) cannot express their emotions because they don't know or understand the words, so we must teach them the words for what they are feeling. When we are confident they can express themselves we can then let them state how they feel. 2) The editing was poor. I got tired of reading the exact same things restated two or three times per paragraph/page. There were a lot of typos.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Sara

    Hmmm... I know people who love this book and others that have completely been turned off by this book. I know families that have had great improvements with their children's behavior and with their own parenting abilities from following the outline from this book. I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, some of the things that Mrs. Peck observed and said in the book were really profound. Things that were said would really ring true to me. Or make me stop and ponder. But then she wou Hmmm... I know people who love this book and others that have completely been turned off by this book. I know families that have had great improvements with their children's behavior and with their own parenting abilities from following the outline from this book. I have mixed feelings about this book. On one hand, some of the things that Mrs. Peck observed and said in the book were really profound. Things that were said would really ring true to me. Or make me stop and ponder. But then she would start to describe HOW she implements her parenting skills, and I would think "this lady is a crazy robot-wanna-be" I could picture her eyes glazing over and she'd begining speaking in a monotone automated voice as soon as she started to interact with her children when they'd behave in a less than desirable way. In all, I'm glad I read the book, and I think that her basic, overall outline is really sensible, and I will implement some of the ideas into my own daily parenting, but that crazy robot thing is just a little weird.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Marie Hyde

    This book has a cult following among home schoolers, so I thought I should pick it up and see what all the excitement was about. I am not a huge fan. I certainly respect the author's dedication to helping foster kids and raising responsible kids of her own. But, it's just not my style. It feels too scripted and controlling for my tastes. I'll be the first to admit that I will end up in 10 times the debates with my kids than the author because of this difference, but I'm OK with that. I think the This book has a cult following among home schoolers, so I thought I should pick it up and see what all the excitement was about. I am not a huge fan. I certainly respect the author's dedication to helping foster kids and raising responsible kids of her own. But, it's just not my style. It feels too scripted and controlling for my tastes. I'll be the first to admit that I will end up in 10 times the debates with my kids than the author because of this difference, but I'm OK with that. I think the great weakness of this book is the lack of big picture perspective. The material is presented with little or no variation for children with special needs or a world and community that is vastly different from the author's. ALL that being said, I did get one or two good ideas from reading it.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Laurel

    When I first heard of Nicholeen Peck I thought that her ideas were a little artificial and forced. Then a few years later I heard her speak again and I thought her strategy was worth a shot. When my husband and I started implementing just a few of her ideas we saw dramatic results and we had an easier way to navigate conflicts in our family. Finally, we bought her book and I just finished reading it. We are slowing implementing her strategies a few at a time, but so far it is really working for When I first heard of Nicholeen Peck I thought that her ideas were a little artificial and forced. Then a few years later I heard her speak again and I thought her strategy was worth a shot. When my husband and I started implementing just a few of her ideas we saw dramatic results and we had an easier way to navigate conflicts in our family. Finally, we bought her book and I just finished reading it. We are slowing implementing her strategies a few at a time, but so far it is really working for my family. We are having a lot more family harmony, a lot fewer fights and I love how my husband and I are not only parenting with more vision, but the children are learning to have vision too. I am a fan!

  15. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars. Horribly "written" it is poorly organized, and FULL of typographical mistakes. I love, love LOVE her idea of family vision and missions. Setting goals, having meetings. But like many would be positive parents she has consequences instead of punishments, but then she just gets lazy and has punishments that she calls consequences instead. I also don't like how often she talks about bribing/punishing with food (though of course she calls them consequences) You could de Somewhere between 3 and 4 stars. Horribly "written" it is poorly organized, and FULL of typographical mistakes. I love, love LOVE her idea of family vision and missions. Setting goals, having meetings. But like many would be positive parents she has consequences instead of punishments, but then she just gets lazy and has punishments that she calls consequences instead. I also don't like how often she talks about bribing/punishing with food (though of course she calls them consequences) You could definitely give your kids food issues with stuff like that.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Deborah Brunt

    Excellent. Love love love the idea of teaching self-government. It is such a great truth. This is the only way to help our children learn to master their emotions, behaviour, appetites. I love how the corrective teaching is done with love. That softens hearts...

  17. 4 out of 5

    Boston

    Best parenting book I've ever read! Teaching children to learn to govern themselves--what a concept! We have implemented pretty much everything from this book and seen amazing results! Best parenting book I've ever read! Teaching children to learn to govern themselves--what a concept! We have implemented pretty much everything from this book and seen amazing results!

  18. 4 out of 5

    Cami

    I got this book at the library because some friends of mine loved it SO much that they certified to teach the courses for TSG. I do not think my family is in crisis, but I generally like to learn about new techniques that could improve things in my home. I don't think I am ready for this right now and was not able to finish the giant book. The first 200 pages seemed like fluff and can be summarized in the LDS document "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" plus a touch of family councils, whi I got this book at the library because some friends of mine loved it SO much that they certified to teach the courses for TSG. I do not think my family is in crisis, but I generally like to learn about new techniques that could improve things in my home. I don't think I am ready for this right now and was not able to finish the giant book. The first 200 pages seemed like fluff and can be summarized in the LDS document "The Family: A Proclamation to the World" plus a touch of family councils, which I fully support. After getting through all that, I was too tired to get into the meat of the teaching self-government stuff and felt the lists and new techniques were too much for me right now. Perhaps if I were taking the associated parenting courses and able to break it down into bite-sized chunks and rehearse putting it into practice, I would be more prepared to tackle this overhaul of parenting. But I am not ready for that experience either. So, my advice would be to start your reading in part three (page 211) and perhaps try using this book along with other resources like their classes or talking to someone that has implemented the system in their home. I didn't feel like it was attacking my parenting style like most parenting books do, nor did I feel the need to throw it at the wall when I finished reading (as is sometimes my reaction to advice books). I am sure this is a great thing for many families, but it's not for me at this time.

  19. 5 out of 5

    A Concerned

    Simply put after reading through this book the author seems to have a poor grasp on how to raise children in regards to functionality in society. I say this with understanding that this book was written by a religous mother (family). I believe that is no excuse for not preparing children for how the world is. They can scarcely prepare and keep the standards of their religious beliefs without being tought how things will be treated after leaving the home. Setting children up for failure through f Simply put after reading through this book the author seems to have a poor grasp on how to raise children in regards to functionality in society. I say this with understanding that this book was written by a religous mother (family). I believe that is no excuse for not preparing children for how the world is. They can scarcely prepare and keep the standards of their religious beliefs without being tought how things will be treated after leaving the home. Setting children up for failure through forcing conformity and a lack of free thought does not qualify in my mind as "molding my children into people who know what right and wrong are and into people who lead other people to right priciples". These are my opinions but I would like to suggest that this book has very dangerous opinions on parenting that if taken as ideal parenting could ruin many families.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Monica

    Some really great things in here. The main idea of the book--"self government"--is fabulous. After a year and a half trying to get through it but only getting halfway, I am throwing in the towel. I feel that it is just too charty for me and with too many formal meetings; however, I'm sure a lot of families would greatly benefit from this book. I implemented the bean jar with success on one occasion and that was good. It also helped me understand some of the differences between the personalities Some really great things in here. The main idea of the book--"self government"--is fabulous. After a year and a half trying to get through it but only getting halfway, I am throwing in the towel. I feel that it is just too charty for me and with too many formal meetings; however, I'm sure a lot of families would greatly benefit from this book. I implemented the bean jar with success on one occasion and that was good. It also helped me understand some of the differences between the personalities in our family, which in turn helped me improve my parenting some. Thanks for writing it.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Emy

    I bought this after seeing the BBC show “World’s Strictest Parents.” I was amazed by how Nicholeen and her husband handled the totally out-of-control teens in their home with complete calm. She’s developed an amazing system for working with her own children and foster children. She sites influences from Utah’s foster care program, Oliver DeMille’s homeschooling approach, and her personal religion. Parenting her way is quite an undertaking, especially as kids adjust. It requires planning, organiz I bought this after seeing the BBC show “World’s Strictest Parents.” I was amazed by how Nicholeen and her husband handled the totally out-of-control teens in their home with complete calm. She’s developed an amazing system for working with her own children and foster children. She sites influences from Utah’s foster care program, Oliver DeMille’s homeschooling approach, and her personal religion. Parenting her way is quite an undertaking, especially as kids adjust. It requires planning, organization, and family meetings. This woman takes her job as a parent seriously and is an inspiration.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Stephanie

    Definitely the best book I’ve read on parenting. Implementing the principles and methods for teaching self-Government has felt very freeing. It is a great reminder that we have a responsibility to govern ourselves, to teach our children choice and accountability, and keeping the vision we want for our family. I appreciate her focus on practicing. We have to practice to get better at anything, and that includes good parenting. Nicholeen’s books are definitely a must-read for all parents.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Serene Parker

    I really liked some of the principles in this book but the grammatical errors were really frustrating. If you want to read a very logical parenting book that gives lots of tools this is it. But you may need to skim a few chapters because it gets rather long and frankly some of the stories you don't need to hear to get the meat of the book. I really liked some of the principles in this book but the grammatical errors were really frustrating. If you want to read a very logical parenting book that gives lots of tools this is it. But you may need to skim a few chapters because it gets rather long and frankly some of the stories you don't need to hear to get the meat of the book.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Marissa

    I’m torn with this book. There is some really great information in it, but to find those gems I think you have to look past the writing (and tone). I read this book with a highlighter, so I can easily go back to sections that I’d like to apply in our family. The premise is to come up with a family vision and government in order to effectively teach children how to self-govern.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Malea

    I really liked some concepts from this book but others were stodgy in my opinion. I also appreciate the book being printed but I found quite a few grammatical errors which bothered me. It also seemed to be compiled from blog posts because there seemed to be a lot of repetition.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Edie

    I listened to Nicholeen Peck at The Great Homeschool Convention. Her speech intrigued me, so I had to purchase her book to learn more. She has taken in countless foster children and saw their hearts change through the techniques outlined in the book. Teaching self-government does work. I am glad I read Parenting a House United and excited to implement some of what I've learned. I listened to Nicholeen Peck at The Great Homeschool Convention. Her speech intrigued me, so I had to purchase her book to learn more. She has taken in countless foster children and saw their hearts change through the techniques outlined in the book. Teaching self-government does work. I am glad I read Parenting a House United and excited to implement some of what I've learned.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Alisa Raty

    Soooo awesome. It changed my life. Not just how I parent, but how I view all my relationships. Everyone really should read this. It is incredible.

  28. 4 out of 5

    Janice Fjerstad

    This is a really great book for teaching our children to govern themselves.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Kristine

    The best parenting book I have read to this point. It took me a long time to finish. I loved the content but I struggled with writing style at time.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Jenben8426

    Some good tips and tricks in this one. I wouldn't take everything, but definitely helps to get you thinking. Some good tips and tricks in this one. I wouldn't take everything, but definitely helps to get you thinking.

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