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When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

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Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his a Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.


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Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his a Now in paperback, the New York Times bestseller that takes readers on a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premier comics George Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display in When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence in his third national bestseller. Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Clichs; Euphemisms: 13 sections) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin delivers everything that his fans expect, and then adds a few surprises. Carlin on the battle of the sexes: Here's all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

30 review for When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?

  1. 4 out of 5

    Steven Walle

    George is one of my favorite commedians. In this book he explains his take on the American culture and Uphamistic language of the yuppy PC class. It is very funny. Nothing is sacred to this man. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to think and have a good laugh. Enjoy and Be Blessed. Diamond

  2. 4 out of 5

    HeavyReader

    I have always enjoyed George Carlin's rants and miss him now that he's dead in that way I miss famous people that I never really knew (like Dr. Seuss and Jim Henson and Richard Pryor). So I thought I would read something that Carlin wrote, laugh a bit, lament the loss. Well. This book kind of stunk. Sure, there were some parts of it that were amusing (especially some of the rants about language), but mostly it was just boring. It was so boring that I couldn't even force myself to read it all. That I have always enjoyed George Carlin's rants and miss him now that he's dead in that way I miss famous people that I never really knew (like Dr. Seuss and Jim Henson and Richard Pryor). So I thought I would read something that Carlin wrote, laugh a bit, lament the loss. Well. This book kind of stunk. Sure, there were some parts of it that were amusing (especially some of the rants about language), but mostly it was just boring. It was so boring that I couldn't even force myself to read it all. That's sad. I guess I miss George Carlin the stand-up comic and not George Carlin the writer.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Sad Sunday (If I say it's bad, it's bad)

    DNF at 27%. It's not George, it's me. Growing up in a culture that had nothing to do with the stand-up, I feel like I am a little behind with this bussiness. I fairly enjoyed Lous C.K, Sarah Silverman and Ahmed the Dead Terrorist. And before picking up George Carlin, I never saw him performing stand-up before. Yes, I heard he was awesome, the one of the "original" stand-upers, star of the genre. I can say that I fairly enjoyed this book but I kept wondering what impact it would have if I seen the DNF at 27%. It's not George, it's me. Growing up in a culture that had nothing to do with the stand-up, I feel like I am a little behind with this bussiness. I fairly enjoyed Lous C.K, Sarah Silverman and Ahmed the Dead Terrorist. And before picking up George Carlin, I never saw him performing stand-up before. Yes, I heard he was awesome, the one of the "original" stand-upers, star of the genre. I can say that I fairly enjoyed this book but I kept wondering what impact it would have if I seen these texts as a stand-up. Georgle Carlin is on point, sarcastic, I particularly enojyed the parts about language (why shampoo isin't called shampoo anymore) and I like his ideas in general. The collection of essays is well put together, but I still beleive that it should be experienced as its original from - stand-up.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Theresa

    Warning: when listening to the audiobook, use headphones. George Carlin is my favorite comedian. I've been watching him since I was eight-years-old, probably not the best decision my father has ever made. And since his death 10 years ago, I've rewatched every standup more times than I can count, and also forced him onto some of my friends who didn't appreciate the humor as much. So when I was looking for my next Audible purchase, I couldn't resist! While this book made me cry of laughter multiple Warning: when listening to the audiobook, use headphones. George Carlin is my favorite comedian. I've been watching him since I was eight-years-old, probably not the best decision my father has ever made. And since his death 10 years ago, I've rewatched every standup more times than I can count, and also forced him onto some of my friends who didn't appreciate the humor as much. So when I was looking for my next Audible purchase, I couldn't resist! While this book made me cry of laughter multiple times, it wasn't what I would expect of any book. It was choppy, and read like just a transcript of his standup. It didn't have a beginning, middle, and end; it just had several sections of ranting and raving, which I'm not altogether against. To be honest, I expected ranting because that's what his standup mostly consisted of, but I thought the book would have come together in some way. The ideas didn't connect from one to another, and that's really my only complaint about it. What I do love about Carlin though is his ability to completely push the limits. He doesn't care about who he offends or what isn't exactly considered politically correct, and that's what I love about his comedy. And it doesn't fall short in this book! From talking about Jeffrey Dahmer in a positive light to what kind of handicapped person should actually get to board a plane first, he continues to plow through subjects that may make the audience uncomfortable, yet unable to contain their laughter. It takes someone special to pull that off, and Carlin is the only one, besides maybe Jimmy Carr, who can get it exactly right. If you enjoyed his standup, you will enjoy this book. While the ideas may not flow together from section to section, you will laugh. And the audiobook is a good way to go!

  5. 4 out of 5

    Heza

    LEVEL ONE What is Carlin's main complaint in this book? The softening of words to fit a more adverse society. What was Carlin's ideal way to die? His head exploding on the crosstown bus. (Just in case that drives anyone to look up his death like it did to me, he died of heart failure.) LEVEL TWO Why is "word softening" so bad? It takes away the actual meaning of what it's being used to describe. For example, what we now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder used to be simply "Shell Shock". Makes sense, LEVEL ONE What is Carlin's main complaint in this book? The softening of words to fit a more adverse society. What was Carlin's ideal way to die? His head exploding on the crosstown bus. (Just in case that drives anyone to look up his death like it did to me, he died of heart failure.) LEVEL TWO Why is "word softening" so bad? It takes away the actual meaning of what it's being used to describe. For example, what we now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder used to be simply "Shell Shock". Makes sense, gets the point across in two easy syllables. Now everything must be politically correct or simply enhanced becuase we seem to get tired of simply using one phrase to describe one ailment. Why are there no blue foods? (Blueberries don't count, they're purple.) Nobody knows. LEVEL THREE Why is word softening so bad? It takes away the actual meaning of what it's being used to describe. For example, what we now know as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder used to be simply "Shell Shock". Makes sense, gets the point across in two easy syllables. Now everything must be politically correct or simply enhanced becuase we seem to get tired of simply using one phrase to describe one ailment. Disgusting, soft, squishy words. Why is everyone worried about offending others?

  6. 5 out of 5

    Dave

    George Carlin has long been one of my favorite comedians (although, he kind of lost freshness around the time that "Toledo Windowbox" came out). Until this, I have never read any of his books, though. To call this a funny book would be about 50% correct, as it is, indeed, a book. Mildly comic was his riff on how UFO buffs get a bum rap and people that believe in an invisible God Who demands their love get total respect from the media. But that was fairly early on in the book and after that was o George Carlin has long been one of my favorite comedians (although, he kind of lost freshness around the time that "Toledo Windowbox" came out). Until this, I have never read any of his books, though. To call this a funny book would be about 50% correct, as it is, indeed, a book. Mildly comic was his riff on how UFO buffs get a bum rap and people that believe in an invisible God Who demands their love get total respect from the media. But that was fairly early on in the book and after that was one barren, unfunny desert of one liner type observations and single paragraph "situation comedy." If you're not a fan of George Carlin, don't read this book. If you are a fan, ESPECIALLY don't read this book.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Eugenio

    An entirely biased rating as I have a soft spot for Carlin and love his standup. This book was a great read of some of his routines and other works. As his standup held a light up against society in a humorous and sometimes dark way, this book also does the same.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Ivonne Rovira

    I remembered George Carlin as being a lot more funny.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Chris

    This is pretty much what you expect from Carlin - acerbic, abrasive, disrespectful, challenging language that doesn't give a good goddamn what anyone else thinks. Which means there'll definitely be something in there that you disagree with, and probably something that pisses you off. Not me, of course. When I watched the South Park movie, at the abortion joke from The Mole, the entire theatre was dead silent except for me in the back row, cackling. I have a very broad sense of humor. Anyway, if y This is pretty much what you expect from Carlin - acerbic, abrasive, disrespectful, challenging language that doesn't give a good goddamn what anyone else thinks. Which means there'll definitely be something in there that you disagree with, and probably something that pisses you off. Not me, of course. When I watched the South Park movie, at the abortion joke from The Mole, the entire theatre was dead silent except for me in the back row, cackling. I have a very broad sense of humor. Anyway, if you've read his previous works, Braindroppings and Napalm and Silly Putty, you pretty much know what's going to be in here - a lot of essays on current events, social customs and traditions, and the general weak character of Americans today. Plus, there are lots of short bits that are really funny: "I wanted to be a Boy Scout, but I had all the wrong traits. Apparently, they were looking for kids who were trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean and reverent. Unfortunately, at that time I was devious, fickle, obstructive, hostile, rude, mean, defiant, glum, extravagant, cowardly, dirty and sacrilegious. So I waited a few years and joined the army." One of Carlin's hot points is his love of language, as the above points out. He loves language and he loves to watch how people use language to bend the truth of their meaning - in other words, he takes particular notice of euphemism. As an English teacher, and a lover of language myself, I also find this topic fascinating and have cannibalized some of Carlin's material for use in lessons on the topic. Included in this book is his "Shell Shock to PTSD" speech, chronicling the renaming of the same condition from World War I ("Shell shock. Almost sounds like the guns themselves. Shell shock!") through to the present day ("...at last, the pain had been completely buried under psycho-jargon. Post-traumatic stress disorder."). This is one area in which I have great respect for Carlin. Overall, I prefer his old material - the Hippy Dippy Weatherman, Congolia Breckenridge and all that - to his newer, rougher stuff. But on the subject of language, I find him to be an insightful and clever scholar of communication. Words exist to describe things. At the same time, however, words conceal the true nature of things, and no one word can completely encompass the thing it describes. Knowing that, we use words to change things according to comfort and custom. We soften the things that make us uncomfortable - going from "cripple" to "physically challenged" might make up feel better about it, but it doesn't change the condition itself. No matter what we call it, Stephen Hawking isn't going to engage in a round of beach volleyball anytime soon. What Carlin believes, and what he explains in this book and his others, is that, given the choice, we should opt for the word that is clearest, simplest and truest over the one that just makes us feel better.... In between the jokes about sex, death and old people, that is. "A children's museum sounds like a great idea, but I would imagine it's not easy to breathe inside those little glass cases." Heeheehee....

  10. 5 out of 5

    Sean Chick

    Carlin's last book is a preview of sorts to his last, and most nihilistic stand up specials. A lot of this is about euphemisms, and Carlin's growing disgust with sanitized language. The miniature plays really don't work, but the book is generally better than Napalm & Silly Putty but not quite as perfect as Brain Droppings. Carlin's last book is a preview of sorts to his last, and most nihilistic stand up specials. A lot of this is about euphemisms, and Carlin's growing disgust with sanitized language. The miniature plays really don't work, but the book is generally better than Napalm & Silly Putty but not quite as perfect as Brain Droppings.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Becky

    I really like George Carlin (R.I.P) but this was... not up to his usual standards. I expected vulgar, irreverent, offensive and abrasive - it wouldn't be Carlin if it wasn't, but I was kind of disappointed with it. It reminded me a lot of I Am America by Stephen Colbert. Truthfully, Colbert probably ganked a lot of his material from this book, because it was so similar. If I had read this one first, I'd have probably liked it better. OK, maybe not. Every time Carlin would get onto a good bashin' I really like George Carlin (R.I.P) but this was... not up to his usual standards. I expected vulgar, irreverent, offensive and abrasive - it wouldn't be Carlin if it wasn't, but I was kind of disappointed with it. It reminded me a lot of I Am America by Stephen Colbert. Truthfully, Colbert probably ganked a lot of his material from this book, because it was so similar. If I had read this one first, I'd have probably liked it better. OK, maybe not. Every time Carlin would get onto a good bashin' topic, it wouldn't take off. It was just... flapping around like a wounded bird. Ineffectual, in other words. Neither one is getting anywhere. This book consisted of a whole buttload of vignettes and skits and segments. They were assorted topics, with a strong emphasis on language, specifically euphemisms, or any other word or phrase that basically means calling something something else so that it sounds better or softer or more socially acceptable. That's cool. Those were my favorite parts. Trust Carlin to put shit out there and be blunt as fuck about it. I like that. What I didn't like was the overlong way that a lot of the rest of the book was handled - take this section: NINETY-NINE THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW There are ninety-nine things you need to know: 1. There are more than ninety-nine things you need to know. 2. Nobody knows how many things there are to know. 3. It's more than three. 4. There is no way of knowing how many things you need to know. Blah blah blah... This goes on for 12 more "things"... Around the 4 point is where I got tired of listening, and I'm not exactly dying to type them all out, either. It's just... get to the point already. A lot of the joke/skit/sections were like that. Descriptions of things would go on for way too long and I find myself zoning out, and by the time the punchline rolls around, I forgot what the hell the joke was about. 'Moment of Silence' was another one. Anyway... Not his best - but there are some good parts. That's all.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Mina

    I am prejudiced, I'll admit, the title&cover just about made my day. Even if you ignore the fact that it insults the three biggest religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism), the anachronistic cranky mug of author himself in the middle of "Last Supper" truly gets the message across. Two stars, this book stars at at two stars plus. I am thoroughly prejudiced, indeed... but then again, I am in college. Star number three: get the audiobook. George Carlin (RIP) was a stand-up comedian and there is I am prejudiced, I'll admit, the title&cover just about made my day. Even if you ignore the fact that it insults the three biggest religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism), the anachronistic cranky mug of author himself in the middle of "Last Supper" truly gets the message across. Two stars, this book stars at at two stars plus. I am thoroughly prejudiced, indeed... but then again, I am in college. Star number three: get the audiobook. George Carlin (RIP) was a stand-up comedian and there is no one better suited to give us his book the way he himself reads it. This is better than some routines and worse than others, but it is still longer than all of them and who can pass 7h 30 of George Carlin? Star number four: The author. For those of you who didn't hear, didn't read or didn't hear of George Carlin, he's the guy who defined "politically incorrect" (no Bill Mahler nonsense, please), broadcasting since the '60's. He's the guy who never got old, who talked about anything, everything. He never seemed to hold anything sacred, including the sacred itself. He described life in the US as "a front-row seat to the freak show" and had the power and charisma to make you see it. Star number five: CONTENT. Finally... This book is a collection of some materials from his shows and a certainly darker approach to the other themes. Carlin has always seen life very differently, and let me put it like this, I'd as soon label it humor as horror. While lacking some of Kurt Vonnegut's style, Carlin paints it no less grotesque.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Katy

    I wish I could give this one 2 and 1/2 stars, but you can't do halfs so I rounded up because I like George Carlin. I'm a huge fan of his act, loved him in Bill and Ted's excient adventures. I think he was the first crude comiden I watched outside of Monty Python. The problem I had with this one was that it got old. A lot of what he wrote was just stupid. I would say pointless, but its comedy, not all things funny need to have a point. Really though, a lot of it wasn't even funny so it was pointl I wish I could give this one 2 and 1/2 stars, but you can't do halfs so I rounded up because I like George Carlin. I'm a huge fan of his act, loved him in Bill and Ted's excient adventures. I think he was the first crude comiden I watched outside of Monty Python. The problem I had with this one was that it got old. A lot of what he wrote was just stupid. I would say pointless, but its comedy, not all things funny need to have a point. Really though, a lot of it wasn't even funny so it was pointless. I love the Euphemism stuff and the things he wrote about language and society. I think he could have written a really good book if it had been more observational. Instead he sets up redicullous situation, I guess to show us how obsered we are and then strectches it out until its dead. Like SNL post Spade and Farley, but in print. A friend of mine brought this book to me and told me it was the funniest thing she had read in a long time, better than his other book and she thought of me while she read it and how much I would love it. I'm now questioning that friendship and if it needs to continue. Anyway, if you are stuck in an airport, doctor's office are repair place I would bring this one a long. Its easy to pick up, put down and skim through. There are also some really good parts you will want to pass on to your friends. However, it really is wading through the crap to find the dimonds.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Savvas Katseas

    I picked this one up because I love Carlin's work. He's as good as it gets if you prefer your stand-up comedy mixed with a bit of clever thinking. Most reviewers stress two facts: a) it's not that funny and b) it's not "a book", it's filled with one-liners Both of which are true. But then again, if all you're looking for is "fun", why pick up Carlin in the first place? He's mostly known for his subversive, insulting humor. The same seems to be true if you're not looking for one-liners but an actual I picked this one up because I love Carlin's work. He's as good as it gets if you prefer your stand-up comedy mixed with a bit of clever thinking. Most reviewers stress two facts: a) it's not that funny and b) it's not "a book", it's filled with one-liners Both of which are true. But then again, if all you're looking for is "fun", why pick up Carlin in the first place? He's mostly known for his subversive, insulting humor. The same seems to be true if you're not looking for one-liners but an actual plot. It's a book that a comedian wrote -although, you'd have to admit- a very talented deep thinker too. The best part of When Will Jesus... is indeed filled with one-liners. Silly questions with hidden meanings, musings, ideas for TV shows that'd never make it, that sort of stuff. The rest is longer in length texts, of clever remarks on the use of language in America, of imaginary uncles of his and their life and deaths, and of plain Carlin awesomeness. All in all, I enjoyed this book because in each and every of its lines I could actually see and hear Carlin speaking. You know, that deep, ironic American accent of his. It was fun. I wouldn't recommend it to everybody, but I can guarantee that his fans will like it. I did.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Menglong Youk

    In term of Philosophy, I dare say that George Carlin influenced me more than other ancient philosophers. Although I don't use his language, my approach to the problems and the way I view everything around me are similar to George, not because I had them myself in the first place, but because I learned gradually by listening to his talks. This book takes on many taboo subjects, one of which is religion. Many authors advance on this topic in a serious way, but to George, he managed to insert humor In term of Philosophy, I dare say that George Carlin influenced me more than other ancient philosophers. Although I don't use his language, my approach to the problems and the way I view everything around me are similar to George, not because I had them myself in the first place, but because I learned gradually by listening to his talks. This book takes on many taboo subjects, one of which is religion. Many authors advance on this topic in a serious way, but to George, he managed to insert humorous reasons but still maintain his firm stand on this issue. Again, I recommend audiobook version if you want to experience this book.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Diāna

    Not your usual critical realism book. Human behaviour contains so many irrational and humorous aspects, and Carlin is a master for spotting them. Don’t expect argumentative analysis, rather sarcasm and not-politically-correct criticism on human trivialities. If you don’t mind digging into human filth, this is a fun book to look out for. Definitely suggest audio rather than reading!

  17. 4 out of 5

    C.C. Thomas

    This was Carlin's third book and while it is terribly funny, this was also biting. I winced in several spots instead of laughing. Carlin is clearly not a fan of organized religion so if you're the least bit religious, you might just get offended. Of course, if you're reading Carlin, that's probably just an expectation! My favorite sections are always his euphemisms and he doesn't fail to deliver here. This book, though, had a different tone. The focus was less on being funny and more on observing This was Carlin's third book and while it is terribly funny, this was also biting. I winced in several spots instead of laughing. Carlin is clearly not a fan of organized religion so if you're the least bit religious, you might just get offended. Of course, if you're reading Carlin, that's probably just an expectation! My favorite sections are always his euphemisms and he doesn't fail to deliver here. This book, though, had a different tone. The focus was less on being funny and more on observing our demented American lifestyle. It wasn't like some of Carlin's other books that felt like a running comedy routine that you could just pick up and and devour in one sitting. This one is more like a sharp cheese that you have to nibble on a little at a time. Still, if you're a Carlin fan, you'll like this one.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Benjamin

    Hear are some things you should not say if you encounter a comedian. First: If you're with another person at the time, don't say to your friend, "You better watch out, he'll put you in one of his skits." We don't like that. It's not funny. And, by the way, we don't do skits. Second: If you meet him while you're at your job, do not say, "You oughta work here, you'd get a lot of material." It's not true. Just because you work with a bunch of simpletons, doesn't mean it translates into comedy. Thir Hear are some things you should not say if you encounter a comedian. First: If you're with another person at the time, don't say to your friend, "You better watch out, he'll put you in one of his skits." We don't like that. It's not funny. And, by the way, we don't do skits. Second: If you meet him while you're at your job, do not say, "You oughta work here, you'd get a lot of material." It's not true. Just because you work with a bunch of simpletons, doesn't mean it translates into comedy. Third: If you work at a store, and we're shopping there, and some small mix-up occurs that needs to be sorted out, don't say to a co-worker, "He's gonna put this in one of his routines." We're not. One more thing we don't like: When you tell us something you think is funny and then you say, "You can use that if you want." We don't want to use it. Believe me.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Akshay

    After seeing some of George Carlin's shows and liking them I decided to read this book. The book however is horrible as compared to the live shows. He just keeps on ranting in the whole book. Sometimes the rant is justified but mostly it's just gibberish. I barely made past the half of book and couldn't finish it even after the best of my efforts.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Todd Bristow

    Carlin at his most nihilistic. His observations are brilliant as always, but his "stories" and characters just don't do it for me.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Gautham Vasan

    This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. George Carlin being savage af as always. My god, this guy is amazing. A relentless troll against pretentious language. Just when I thought I was normal, he makes me feel like a complete asshole. Some of my notes while reading: Euphemisms bit is amazing! 10 commandments bit is hilarious af I'm a raging workaholic, a working rageaholic πŸ˜‚ Crippled couple having sex in a roller coaster - damn that's cold shit. Dark humour πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ½ Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men ar George Carlin being savage af as always. My god, this guy is amazing. A relentless troll against pretentious language. Just when I thought I was normal, he makes me feel like a complete asshole. Some of my notes while reading: Euphemisms bit is amazing! 10 commandments bit is hilarious af I'm a raging workaholic, a working rageaholic πŸ˜‚ Crippled couple having sex in a roller coaster - damn that's cold shit. Dark humour πŸ˜‚πŸ‘ŒπŸ½ Women are crazy. Men are stupid. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Never underestimate the role of pretentiousness in the role of creating euphemisms. His anger on job title inflation is totally righteous! "Everyone's dead. It's just a matter of degree". Damn that was too deep ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Here's how money can buy happiness: Money gives you options Options give you breathing room Breathing room gives you control And control can offer you a measure of happiness... Maybe ... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Only bull-shitters use hearty. Causes heart disease. If some word ends with y, normal people hardly use it, marketers are yanking your schwans Jews wearing yamakas with a paper clip. Isn't that God's responsibility πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I know a hip hop jew wearing a yamaka backward. No one can tell, but he does that πŸ˜‚ Don't use utilize when you should be utilizing use! People misuse the 2, especially sports caster. Correct usage, a coach utilizes his players and the players use their skills. Not the other way around. The player isn't utilizing all his skills is incorrect Dark humour: The last thing you want for your daughter is a hands on Dad The reason a rancher fucks his sheep at the edge of a cliff is so that the sheep would push back

  22. 4 out of 5

    Prakash Yadav

    Its only funny if you read it it in his voice, and then its very funny. I am not a fan of stand-up comedy, neither do i imagine myself in the near-future seeking performances that congratulate me on my superficial knowledge on getting the vague ambiguous references. Carlin has something for everyone, plain government services and whitecollar jokes to outright coprophilic slapstick. Oddly enough its not the funny that pulled me in into finishing this conflagration of verbal diarrhea. Its the insi Its only funny if you read it it in his voice, and then its very funny. I am not a fan of stand-up comedy, neither do i imagine myself in the near-future seeking performances that congratulate me on my superficial knowledge on getting the vague ambiguous references. Carlin has something for everyone, plain government services and whitecollar jokes to outright coprophilic slapstick. Oddly enough its not the funny that pulled me in into finishing this conflagration of verbal diarrhea. Its the insights into euphemisms. They are the central core to much of his humour, and rightly so because he makes absurd revelations by highlighting the very obvious. Not all is golden though, some conjectures are just his personal opinions thrown in for mirth, but whom i to judge, a man has to win his bread. I recommend it for the one liners. He's funny. And dead. Still, funny.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Erin Bomboy

    Like the best comedians, George Carlin was both funny and philosophical. Although comedy is considered entertainment, it has the opportunity to reveal deep and uncomfortable truths. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops is chockablock full of Carlin's observational humor. He skewers PC euphemisms and cracks jokes about Michael Jackson (these don't hold up so well). Yet he saves his sharpest and funniest bon mots for religion and misogyny. You won't laugh out loud all the time, but when you do, it Like the best comedians, George Carlin was both funny and philosophical. Although comedy is considered entertainment, it has the opportunity to reveal deep and uncomfortable truths. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops is chockablock full of Carlin's observational humor. He skewers PC euphemisms and cracks jokes about Michael Jackson (these don't hold up so well). Yet he saves his sharpest and funniest bon mots for religion and misogyny. You won't laugh out loud all the time, but when you do, it will be in full recognition of Carlin's ability to see through the bullshit.

  24. 5 out of 5

    Miss Kelly

    My boyfriend and I took a road trip this fall for our birthdays. We listened to only 3 or four cds of this 6 cd audiobook. Not a fan. There were a few funny parts, but mainly it was just George Carlin bellyaching.

  25. 4 out of 5

    NeoKhaledism

    I don't know if this was really too much and repetitive or maybe I got bored from George's material.

  26. 5 out of 5

    SaintOfSpiders

    I miss George. There were times when I could actually hear his voice as I read some parts of this book. His rants and commentary on the softening of language are great, but I didn't enjoy the absurd humour segments as much so it was an uneven experience for me.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Alan

    Huge Carlin fan. Loved his baseball/football, airplane and other brilliant monologues. Had high expectations for the book. It is clearly not his best medium. Save your money and watch him on Youtube.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Patrick Gibson

    Some good Carlin bits in here. Sound zingers on politics, religion, consumerism, language, and the foibles of everyday life. Carlin remains one of the few intellectually honest comedians (pundits? observers?) in that he bashes liberals and conservatives with equal gusto. He don't care if you Red or Blue... if you're a self-important hypocrite, he'll let you know. Unfortunately, as Carlin got older, he got crankier, more bitter, and less funny. He's still better than most, but sometimes seems so Some good Carlin bits in here. Sound zingers on politics, religion, consumerism, language, and the foibles of everyday life. Carlin remains one of the few intellectually honest comedians (pundits? observers?) in that he bashes liberals and conservatives with equal gusto. He don't care if you Red or Blue... if you're a self-important hypocrite, he'll let you know. Unfortunately, as Carlin got older, he got crankier, more bitter, and less funny. He's still better than most, but sometimes seems so bent on venting his spleen that he forgets a comedian's first job is to make people laugh. Shocking the arrogant out of their complacency should be a secondary consideration. Mark Twain said: "Humor is the assault against which nothing can stand." Carlin sometimes forgets the humor in his zeal of the assault. Eh... I cut him some slack. I mean, how many other people you know in the neighborhood of their 70's who aren't prone to the rant? I'll bet when you listen to grandpa tee off at the Thanksgiving table for an hour you don't crack a smile. George can still bring a decent chuckle every couple pages here. Pretty damn respectable, if you ask me (and you didn't... see my point?)

  29. 5 out of 5

    Ruben

    A fun read, and classic Carlin wit. This book is basically a collection of random thoughts, opinions, and observations (i.e. "rants") that drive Carlin mad! I will admit, I had some trouble sticking with the book due to jarring flow of the format (no chapters...random headings which are unidentifiable as main headings, sub headings, etc.,). But reading some of Carlin's rants was enjoyable since so many of them are clearly overlooked by us all--specifically how we all try to make things sound mor A fun read, and classic Carlin wit. This book is basically a collection of random thoughts, opinions, and observations (i.e. "rants") that drive Carlin mad! I will admit, I had some trouble sticking with the book due to jarring flow of the format (no chapters...random headings which are unidentifiable as main headings, sub headings, etc.,). But reading some of Carlin's rants was enjoyable since so many of them are clearly overlooked by us all--specifically how we all try to make things sound more pleasant than they really are. Example, since when did a "drug addict" become a "drug user"? And how did a "drug user" become a "person with a chemical dependency"? When did insane asylums become mental institutions? And when did mental institutions become mental health facilities? "Rest homes" became "Retirement homes" which became "senior adult assisted living centers". the list goes on and on. If you are a Carlin fan, then this book is a definite 4 if not 5 stars. If you do not know his style, you'll probably think the book a 3.

  30. 4 out of 5

    CluckingBell

    I've read or heard so many pithy, one-sentence George Carlin lines---not what I would call jokes, because they always seemed too substantive to be classified that simply---that I thought now that I'm older I'd have a good chance at really appreciating his humor. And it's very possible that I would still enjoy his stand-up. But I did not enjoy this book. It started off a little hit or miss, so I thought it just needed to build up its momentum, but by the third disc (of six) it was just dull, repe I've read or heard so many pithy, one-sentence George Carlin lines---not what I would call jokes, because they always seemed too substantive to be classified that simply---that I thought now that I'm older I'd have a good chance at really appreciating his humor. And it's very possible that I would still enjoy his stand-up. But I did not enjoy this book. It started off a little hit or miss, so I thought it just needed to build up its momentum, but by the third disc (of six) it was just dull, repetitive, and neither funny nor interesting, without even a redeeming hint of substance. None of the recurring themes/subjects reached a satisfying conclusion, and some of the material felt so tired that I was continually surprised when he referred to something relatively contemporary. This may have been more palatable as a bedtime read consumed in small portions over a long time, instead of listened to in several-hour chunks on a long road trip. I haven't given up on liking Carlin's work, but I may not bother with the (audio)books in the future.

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